Lying to Herself
by John Reed
Summary: Missing scenes from Season 2, 3 4, and 5. Surely they ran out of time, or they would have made these official. Or maybe these show the truth and they just aren't ready to reveal all yet. Season 3 begins with Chapter 23, Season 4 begins with Chapter 45, Season 5 begins with Chapter 69. The last chapter begins during or after the most recent episode...
1. Unwelcome

Lying to Herself

_Not related to the other group of stories. I just finished the 4__th__ chapter of the new one, but this was so on my mind through it all I had to get it out._

_This is my little tirade about the situation on the show after the first two episodes of the second season. Very childish of me to vent like this, so I apologize in advance. But I'm still going to do it…_

After the ferris wheel…

"I don't want to see you," Elena said as she entered her room and saw Damon there.

"I know," Damon said. "I respect that. I won't stay, I just had to thank you for stopping Bonnie."

"She was wrong to do that, I'm not sure she's wrong about anything else. Maybe this is your fault."

"My fault? What exactly happened that was my fault?"

"Caroline is a vampire," Elena said.

"Katherine did that," Damon retorted.

"You tried to make Jeremy a vampire."

"He's not a vampire, Elena."

"But you tried."

"Do you know how easy it is to turn someone, Elena? I could have done it to you with a flick of my wrist. You were that close, and it was not hard to get you there. But you are not a vampire, and neither is Jeremy."

"Or maybe you were just trying to kill him." Elena was in full glare mode.

"Easier still. Twist of his head, no preparation required. I don't want him dead, Elena. Actually we're on pretty good terms now. Ask him yourself, if he's talking to you."

"Don't pretend none of this is your fault. Katherine is here because of you."

"No, Elena. Katherine is here because of Stefan. I don't know if he just hasn't told you, or you just don't believe him, but she's here for him. The games she's playing are for him. You, Caroline, and I are all a part of the game, but he is the prize."

"Don't say that. He wants nothing to do with her."

"It's not about what he wants, Elena, any more than its about what I want. It's about what Katherine wants."

"She's getting to you Damon, just like Stefan said she would. You can't let her do this to you."

"She's not doing anything to me she hasn't done before. She's not getting to me Elena. She can't anymore. Only you can."

"Now you're blaming me?"

"No blame, Elena. Just telling you what is. Katherine's here, and we have to deal. She'll lie and manipulate and hurt everyone and everything in her way. You can't face that if you're lying to me, Stefan or yourself."

"Now it's my fault and I'm a liar. I should have let you burn. I don't know why I stopped her."

"Yes you do. We both know. It's what I told you before – there's something between us. And if you don't face it, Katherine will be the end of all of us, except Stefan." Damon sounded a little bitter.

"It's time for you to leave."

Damon nodded and headed for the window. Just before he went though, she spoke again. "Stay out of my way and stay away from my family."

"Face the truth Elena, before it's too late." And Damon was gone.

-The End— _of this little tirade anyway_

_There, I feel better. Not much, but a little._

_I won't feel too much better until the show depicts Damon as someone other than a guy who can be slapped around and beat up by every human, vampire and witchy female around._

_Surely it will change – and soon. At least Caroline is getting a bit more interesting…_


	2. Uncompelled Love

_So maybe I can use this story to comment on the show to date. Last chapter still fits in, this chapter begins near the end point of Season 2 Episode 4 (aka "Memory Lane") with the meeting of Elena and Stefan in her bedroom..._

Loss

"All this, just to get you back?" Elena asked, trying to control herself.

"That's not why she's here, OK?" Stefan stroked her hair her as he tried to reassure her. "No matter what she says - I know her. Katherine doesn't care about anybody, but herself. She never has. She's incapable of love. She's here for another reason."

Elena shook her head and sat on the bed. "She's capable of wanting love – your love. She wanted it enough that she compelled you to get it."

"I don't think she was ever after my love." Stefan said sitting next to her on the bed.

"Does she lie, Stefan?" Elena asked as she turned to meet his eyes.

"She manipulates, she uses."

"But does she lie? Has anything she has said been a lie?" Elena repeated.

Stefan broke eye contact and shrugged.

"It's not so strange she came back for you." Elena said, still looking at him. "I'd go anywhere to get you."

"That's not why she's here." Stefan repeated meeting her eyes again.

Elena was starting to look desperate. "She said that's the reason. She doesn't lie. It makes sense to me that she wants you just like I want you. I think it is why she's here."

Stefan shook his head. "It doesn't matter. Even if true, which it's not, it would change nothing. Certainly nothing between us."

"She'll do anything, Stefan. She already made Caroline a vampire." Stefan could see the pain Elena felt as she looked down. "We saved Caroline from Damon, but you told me she would be dead anyway because of what Katherine did."

"Don't let Katherine get to you, Elena. We have a plan." Stefan put his arm around her.

"A plan based on her lying, which she doesn't. And she did get to me – she was standing right in front of me."

"I won't let that happen again, Elena."

"She said something about questions." Elena met his eyes again. "I asked her why we look alike, and she said it was the wrong question. What does that mean?"

"She's playing with you, Elena. What she says doesn't mean anything."

"She says that all she wants is you."

"That will never happen. You know that. I hate her, I love you, Elena." Stefan tried to kiss her, but she pulled back.

"Am I the only reason, Stefan. If I wasn't here, would you go back to her?"

Stefan shook his head. "Elena, no. I already told you I hate her."

"You didn't always hate her." Elena was trying to read his eyes.

"I was compelled!"

"Is that what she says? The vampire that doesn't lie. Does she admit she compelled you to love her?"

Stefan averted his eyes and did not answer.

"Please answer, Stefan,"

He turned back to her. "No. She says I loved her before she compelled me. She says she only compelled me so I wouldn't be afraid of her after I found out she's a vampire."

Elena nodded.

"I don't remember it like that, but it doesn't matter Elena. There's no question about who I love now – it's you. It will always be you. We can't let her screw that up – no matter what."

"No matter what," Elena repeated with a sigh. "So we follow the plan – public breakup, secret lovers, and we see what she does next. We see who gets hurt."

"Who gets hurt? That's not part of the plan."

"That's what will happen, Stefan. If not you or me, then someone else. Probably someone I love since she's so bent on getting to me."

Nothing Stefan said was working – Elena was still upset.

"I won't let that happen," he said, putting his hand under her chin and pulling her eyes to his.

"It already has. Caroline. Damon tried to kill her, she had to give up Matt, and she's being used by Katherine. Killing her is about all that's left. All so Katherin can get you back."

"We'll stop it before then." Stefan was getting desperate now.

"Of course we will, because we've stopped her every step of the way so far."

Stefan looked down as he asked the next question. "Is it not worth it? Am I not worth it?"

"Of course you are," Elena said. She looked at him but did not move to pull him towards her. "But Stefan, I can't lose anyone – not even Caroline."

* * *

Denial

Damon approached Elena, as she was leaving her home, and received the expected response.

"Leave me alone, Damon," Elena said, walking around him.

"You don't mean that," Damon said as he moved to catch her.

"Yes, I do," she said, walking faster.

"Pretend to be Katherine later. I need to tell you something."

Elena did not slow down. "Insulting me is not the way to get my attention."

Damon was in front of her instantly. "I know what happened between you and Stefan."

"Not something I'm going to talk about with you." Elena said, trying to walk around him again.

Damon grabbed her arm and held her in place.

Elena gasped. She didn't try to pull away, she scowled and said "Let me go."

"You need to know something," Damon insisted.

Elena shook her head and looked into his eyes. She spoke softly this time. "Please let me go. Then say what you want and leave me alone."

Damon released her arm. "Ok. I managed to get some silver into Mason Lockwood after Jenna's party."

Elena waited a minute before getting irritated again. "And?"

"And it turns out werewolf's aren't affected by silver. All I did was make him an enemy – like that changes anything."

Elena laughed. "And the club grows."

"Nothing to laugh at Elena. Sooner or later, he will try to hurt me."

Elena smirked. "I'm following Damon. What I'm not is caring."

"You should Elena. He can't hurt me – not physically. He would have to catch me unawares and, now that I am aware – not going to happen. And he can't break my heart – that was ripped out by you and Katherine. All he can do is hurt the only person who cares about me, the only person I care about."

Elena shook her head and gave him a unbelieving look. "No. You can't mean me, not after everything."

"Can't I, Elena? Denial – never healthy, mentally speaking. And right now, for you, not safe. Not safe at all. Be careful."

Damon moved quickly in the direction opposite Elena had been walking. She swallowed as she turned and watched him leave.

* * *

_So I'm not so upset about where the show is now..give or take Damon's current state. I'm not sure whether it's worse that he tries to kill everyone and everything he meets or that he fails every time he tries. But much better than last time. Much. Liking what Katherine is becoming. Soon Elena will be pledging her loyalty...though apparently to save someone other than Bonnie..._


	3. Unchanged Things

_Well, it appears that nothing in the first couple of chapters of this story has been refuted by the show just yet, so I get to play here a bit more._

_This apparently missing scene takes place when Elena arrives at her home after giving Stefan just a bit of her blood…_

Elena noticed Damon leaning against her house as she arrived home. She paused and turned to face him before entering.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, trying to look annoyed.

Damon's face was blank. "Just making sure you get home safely."

She doubted that was all there was to it, but she just nodded. "Thanks."

As she turned to enter, he spoke again. "Also, I need to thank you for rescuing Stefan and me today."

She turned back to him. "That was Caroline."

"I was being tortured, Elena," Damon noticed that she winced slightly, but continued, "but I was aware. I know who came down first, who faced the Sheriff unarmed. The same person who always goes into tombs and burning buildings after me."

Elena shook her head. "I went there for Stefan."

Damon was smirking now. "Not quite what you said to Liz, Elena. But tell yourself that if it helps."

Elena felt a glare coming. "Nothing has changed Damon. What you tried to do to Jeremy will always be there. It can't be undone."

Damon was staring back at her. "There's a lot more than that that can't be undone, Elena."

"You also tried to stake Caroline, and she was the one who saved you."

Damon was glaring now. "I was there, Elena – both times. Why are you bringing this up?"

Elena began to move towards him, still glaring. "To show that you have too much baggage to think that there will ever be anything between us."

"There's already is something between us, Elena. But that's not why I'm here. I'm here to make sure you make it home safely. There's a crazy vampire on the loose,."

"Katherine has had the chance to hurt me, but she hasn't. You said yourself that I would be dead if she wanted me dead. Or is the crazy vampire you?" She was very close to him now.

Damon had to force himself to pause for a minute. He returned to a blank face. "Things were calmer then. She's starting to play her games now. Don't think your little ruse of breaking up with Stefan put her off for long. You know it's over - that the ruse is over, right?" he finished with a smirk.

Elena closed her eyes and nodded. She hesitated before asking what was still on her mind. "Do you think she's really here to get Stefan back?"

Damon shrugged. "I don't know. She only told me it wasn't for me." Then he looked at her intently. "Do you know of any other reason?"

"No," Elena said, almost desperately. "But she keeps hurting him, stabbing him."

Damon snorted. "Katherine likes it rough. She has no rules. She knows it gets his attention – and yours."

Elena closed her eyes and exhaled before asking "Has she tried to hurt you?"

Damon shook his head. "Not with stakes or swords. Just words."

"Do you think Stefan is right about the blood – that he can control it?" she asked. It was a sincere question.

"He needs it, Elena. It's who he is, who I am. He can pretend to be something else when no one notices him, when it's safe for him. He can pretend around you and me. But its not safe anymore. He can't stand up to Katherine without it."

Elena let her worry show as she asked, "But if he loses control again, will you help me again?"

"Have I ever not helped you when you asked?"

Elena shook her head, but added quickly "It still doesn't change anything between us."

"Of course not," Damon responded, almost glaring again. "Only you can change that. I will continue to take a stake or arrow or anything else for you, if I can get between it and you fast enough. I will continue to help you when you ask, and I will continue to make sure you get home safely as long as there are crazy vampire bitches about."

Damon turned to walk away. "Your house is safe – no vampire, werewolves or witches about just now. Good night."

Elena closed her eyes and exhaled. "Good night. Thanks again," she whispered before going inside, knowing he would hear.

_Still ok with the show as is now, games are afoot and it is fun to watch, though odd that Elena/Katherine seems to smooch with everyone that comes along in reality or dreams or cars. A bit disturbing – or maybe I'm just jealous…_


	4. Too Close

_The show continues to let these little "missing scenes" remain possible...so the game (such as it is) remains afoot..._

The morning after "Plan B"...

Damon was waiting outside of Elena's home as she left in the morning. The tears he had seen the previous evening were gone. She didn't glare or even look annoyed at him as she had in the past, she just sighed.

"Please don't make this harder for me Damon," she said, not stopping.

"Not why I'm here, Elena. Still just keeping an eye on you while the crazy vampire bitch wreaks havoc."

She did stop and turn to him then. "Is that really necessary? She's won. Doesn't that mean anything?"

Damon smirked. "What do you think she's won, Elena?"

"She split us up. It's what she wanted."

Damon shook his head. "No, Elena. Not that she's told me anything, but she told Stefan she wanted him. She told the werewolf she wanted the Moonstone. She doesn't have either."

Elena closed her eyes and shook her head. "You're making this harder. I don't have either of those. Won't she leave me alone?"

"If they really are what she wants, you are the common thread. You hold the heart of both of us that do have what she wants."

"Damon, I can't take this." She said desperately. "Just give it to her."

Damon just looked at her. "Do you mean the rock…or Stefan?"

Elena sat down and buried her head into her heads. "I don't know what to do. I can't stop her."

"Elena, you don't have to."

She looked up at him. "You think she'll stop?"

Damon shook his head. "No, but you don't have to stop her. You think she won because she discovered your ruse and got to Jenna. But that's not all that happened."

Elena looked at him, waiting.

"Bonnie, who hates me – me and Stefan – helped us take out the werewolf. Do you know why?"

"Stefan convinced her to help?" Elena asked.

"No. She wanted no part of it until we convinced her that Mason was a threat to you."

Elena was still sitting, processing what he had said, when he continued.

"Alaric was in before, now that she has gotten to Jenna, he'll be even more in. Jeremy is in, no matter what you say. He has the ring, but he knows you're vulnerable. Caroline is helping, as afraid of Katherine as she is. We will not let her get to you."

Elena stood now, desperation still showing on her face. "But it's not just about me, Damon. She can hurt anyone I care about."

"Which is why we're not playing defense anymore," Damon said, his face reflecting the seriousness of his words. "Not when you are her target."

"Damon, no."

"Elena, yes. Maybe we went too far taking out the werewolf, but Katherine's too close to you. We're not waiting to see who else she can hurt to get to you."

Elena shook her head. "Please, Damon….no. I can't risk any of you."

"We're already at risk, Elena. Stefan, Caroline, Jeremy, Bonnie, even me."

Elena gave Damon a desperate look.

Damon turned to walk away. "Waiting's not my style, and for once, I'm not alone. We're going after her. She's not getting so close to you again."

Elena watched him walk away, finally whispering "Please be careful," just before he was out of sight.


	5. Giving Her What She Needs

_Wow, seven episodes in and this game remains playable…I'm amazed…_

This missing scene begins at the end of season 2, episode 7 - "Masquerade"

Damon was waiting at the Gilbert house when Jeremy arrived. Damon was quickly at the car door as Jeremy exited the car.

"How's Elena?" Damon asked, his concern showing.

"She said she's feeling better." Jeremy replied. "Bonnie helped take the pain away. I talked to her when I was about to take Bonnie home – she said she was going straight to bed."

Damon scowled. "She's not here."

"What?" Jeremy was surprised. "She had her car and said was coming straight home."

Damon grimaced as he pulled his phone out and called Stefan.

"What?" Stefan said as he answered – almost harshly.

"Where's Elena?" Damon demanded in a low voice.

"Don't know." Stefan said. Damon could tell he was upset. "She wanted space and walked away from me. I don't know where she went."

"You left her alone even though you know what she went through?" Damon asked angrily.

"She left me," Stefan retorted. "I can't force her to stay with me."

"What? You can't be around her without pawing her?" Damon accused. "You can give her space and still keep an eye on her.

"I gave her what she wanted." Stefan said.

Damon was speaking angrily now. "Whatever she wants, whether she gets it or not, we give her what she needs. She's hurt and scared and you leave her alone? She needs protection."

"Katherine is gone," Stefan yelled into his phone. "Protection from what?"

Damon shook his head and spoke softly now – almost to himself. "Katherine said she needed protection. "

"Whatever she said was a lie, and she's gone now anyway." Stefan said defensively.

"Lie, Stefan?" Damon challenged. "Did she come here talking about helping people and rainbows or about killing people and blood. She said she wanted the moonstone and she did. I even believe that it was always you she wanted, not me." Damon caught himself making a fist around the phone, stopping only when he heard a crack.

"I said I'd protect Elena." Damon said, almost whispering. "I couldn't even keep her safe for an hour."

"What do you mean? Isn't Elena at her home?" Stefan asked.

"No. She never made it home." Damon said bitterly. "Hope you got a good sulk out of it"

"Are you sure? Where are you?" Stefan wasn't buying yet.

"At her home. Jeremy said she should already be here, but she's not."

"She's probably just walking or visiting someone." Stefan said.

"She's hurt, Stefan." Damon said, but then gave up trying to convince him. "But you finish sulking. I'll find her."

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to find out who took her and then I'm going to find her." Damon said.

"How?"

"Going to hell to talk to the devil. I'll bring her back out if I have to, what ever it takes to find Elena. She said she'd do anything. I guess we'll find out." Damon disconnected.

"Wha..?" Stefan began as he heard the phone disconnect. "Hell, devil, she?" he repeated not understanding what Damon meant.

* * *

_Most won't see it, but those of us who are me can see the TV show starting to align with the "Vampires and Witches and Elena" group of stories. We even have Katherine talking about protecting Elena. All we need now is a pledge of loyalty, more Delena (I'm sure it's coming) and a Stefan who cares enough about Elena that he would not leave her hurt and alone in the dark (not sure the TV show will ever have that)_


	6. Protection Restored

_This missing scene begins the day after Rose (Season 2 Episode 8)…_

Stefan

Elena arrived at school and found Stefan as soon as she could.

"Thanks for bringing it back to me," Elena said with a hug.

"Back? Bringing what back?" Stefan asked.

"Though I don't understand why you snuck it on to me," Elena continued. "I mean, why didn't you just give it to me?"

Stefan's confusion was showing on his face. "Give you what Elena? What are you talking about?"

Elena looked into his eyes and hesitated. He really did not know.

"My necklace, Stefan. The vervain necklace. You brought it back to me, didn't you?"

"You lost it?" Stefan asked.

Elena closed her eyes as she realized what it meant. Damon had returned it to her.

She nodded. "I lost it, but I have it back now."

"Oh. Good," Stefan said.

"Yeah," Elena smiled at him as she turned to head to class, "really good."

Stefan walked beside her, still not quite knowing where they stood.

Damon

It took her awhile to find him. Typical Damon, always around when unwanted, but just try to find him when he was wanted.

She found him alone at a table at the Grill. He looked at her but did not speak as she took a seat across from him.

"You did this, didn't you?" Elena asked Damon holding the necklace out to show him.

"I don't know what you mean." Damon said, his eyes not leaving hers.

"You gave me my necklace back," she repeated. She sounded like she was challenging him to deny it.

"You make it sound like that's a bad thing," Damon said.

"What else did you do to me?" Elena asked, eyes still locked with his.

"What do you think I did, Elena?" Damon asked, sounding irritated.

"Knowing you, it could be anything."

"Really, Elena? And what do you 'know' I would do to you?"

"Like I said, it could have been anything." Both of their voices were rising. Neither broke eye contact.

"When have I ever done anything to you Elena? To those around you, yes - and I've apologized. But to you? When have I ever done anything to you?"

Elena just glared back. "If you didn't do anything, then why don't I remember?"

"Maybe there's nothing to remember, Elena." He rose to leave.

"Damon, please." Elena suddenly sounded desperate. "Don't do this to me – tell me. Don't leave me wondering."

"Elena, you have your necklace back." He was trying to calm her. "As for anything else that happened, we just talked. Nothing bad."

"Then why did you do it Damon? Why don't I remember. Why won't you let me know?"

"Elena, it's nothing I haven't told you before. You already know." Damon said as he turned and left.

* * *

_I almost gave up on this. I am absolutely fine with where the show is now...not sure what I can possibly add. And one must admit, with vampire forces gathering to attack Elena and with her protectors unifying as well to protect her...well, the road to unification with the "Vampires and Witches and Elena" group of stories continues at a steady pace..._


	7. Not Running

_These missing scenes begin near the end of season 2, episode 9 - Katerina, where Stefan and Elena are on her porch, hugging..._

Stefan

He let her hug him and cry until she was done. He was willing to let it go on for as long as she needed. He tried to think of something comforting to say, but nothing he tried before had worked. He doubted anything would.

The sobs had stopped when he said "She could be lying, Elena."

Elena pulled herself from him and shook her head. "Everything she did makes sense now, Stefan. Everything."

"That doesn't make it true."

"Or false, Stefan," Elena closed her eyes and rubbed her head with her hand. The tears were gone but the stress remained. "I don't know what to do."

Stefan tried to touch her face with his hand, but she backed away from him. "I'll protect you Elena. I told you, I won't let anything happen to you."

"You can't. Everything she said is true."

"No Elena," Stefan said, trying to touch her again. She let him. "She said she came back for me. It was a lie."

"Why do you say that? Because she wouldn't really want you? I do." Elena backed up until she was against the door and shook her head. "She could have come for the other things and want you as well. Maybe I am just like her."

"You're nothing like her, Elena." Stefan looked desperate. "She has done nothing but hurt people since I've know her."

Elena stared at him. "You mean since you found out she wasn't dead or rotting in a tomb. Before then, you loved her," she accused.

Stefan hesitated, trying to think of a response.

"She did what she had to to stay alive. Maybe I would have too."

"No, Elena." Stefan contradicted, shaking his head. "You're not like that at all."

"Aren't I?" Elena asked softly. She almost looked resigned."When I thought it would keep me and my family alive, I broke up with you. I hurt you, even though I love you. Not someone who was trying to kill me, not someone I didn't know. I hurt you. How different is that from what she's done?"

She turned and opened the door to enter.

"Elena, are you OK?" Stefan asked desperately. "Are we OK?"

Elena shrugged as she looked back at him. "Maybe. I want us to be, you want us to be. Maybe." She entered, closing the door to him.

* * *

Damon 

Damon was outside as she exited her home the next morning.

"What are you doing now, Damon?" Elena asked, sighing.

"Making sure you get to school." Damon said, his face blank. "I hear you've been skipping."

"I had a reason." Elena said under her breath.

"Yes. I heard you talked to the bitch."

"Don't call her that. She has a name." Elena retorted.

Damon's face showed a little surprise. "A name and a new BFF?"

"I just understand a little about what she's been through," Elena said quietly.

Damon almost glared back. "It doesn't make it OK for her to try to kill you."

Elena lowered her eyes and spoke softly. "I know. But at least I learned why she was doing what she did."

"And why is that, Elena?"

"She's trying to stay alive," she replied, looking at him again. "If she can give Klaus a vampire, a werewolf, a witch, the moonstone and me, she thinks he'll let her live."

Damon smirked. "See any flaws in this plan of hers, Elena?"

Elena frowned and shook her head.

"Klaus is an ass. As a first-class ass myself, I know that you don't leave people alone just because they give you what you want, epecially after they kept it from you for 500 years."

Elena's frown slowly turned to a look of desperation. "I can't do anything to stop him. If I run, he'll destroy my family and everyone I love. If stay, he'll kill me, Caroline, Tyler and Bonnie." She closed her eyes and shook her head. "I don't know what to do."

Damon gently pulled her chin up. She looked into his eyes as he spoke. "Where's the Elena that ran into a house full of vampires to get Stefan? The Elena that ran into a tomb full of vampires for me? That faced me while she was bleeding and dressed me down because of what I did to Vicki?"

"This is different," Elena said softly. "I don't know what to do."

"It is different," Damon confirmed, almost whispering. "This time you're afraid. You don't need to be, you're not alone."

"He'll kill you. He'll kill everyone."

Damon laughed slightly. "He may try. Maybe he is after Caroline, Tyler and Bonnie. He's after Rose too, and since Stefan and I took you from an Original, I'm sure he's after us as well." Damon's face became hard. "But we're not running, Elena. He's not getting us and he's not getting you."

"Why would you try to fight him?" Elena asked desperately. "Katherine ran, Rose ran. Why not all of you?"

Damon's face remained hard. "Because he pissed me off when he took you. He's trying to hurt someone I care about, someone all of us care about. No running and no giving him what he wants. He'll get his werewolf, his witch and his vampires – he'll get to fight us. He won't get you."

Elena closed her eyes and rubbed her head. "God, I can't do anything. I don't know what to do."

"Go to school, Elena."

She looked back into his eyes. "What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to find a way to put an end to it. Got a tip that we might be able to use the moonstone to put an end to this."

Elena stared. "Katherine said…" she started, then began to shake her head. "You can't…"

"Go to school, Elena." Damon interrupted. "You need to, you're not dying and no one's running. Go to school."

Elena stared at him as she backed away from him a couple of steps before whispering "Be careful" as she turned around and walked away from him.


	8. No More

_This missing scene begins after the end of __The Sacrifice_

Elena was talking to Damon. They were on her porch. She wasn't calm, not even close, but she knew he would not let her go back to the tomb, to Stefan.

"We can't leave him there, Damon." She was almost pleading. "We have to get him out."

"Do you know why he's there, Elena?" Damon asked.

Elena had to close her eyes and shake her head. "Jeremy. So stupid."

"I agree. He never should have been there. But you know why Jeremy was there." Damon said.

"The Moonstone." Elena said shaking her head again. "You guys never should have gone after it. I told you I didn't want you to."

"I wasn't there, Elena." Damon said, pulling her eyes to him again. "I was keeping you alive."

Elena scowled. "I didn't want you to do that either."

"No, you wanted to be a sacrificial lamb. Stupid, but I've already told you that."

"I did it to protect the people I love," Elena said, still scowling.

"You did." Damon said, his face hard. "Everyone's into sacrificing themselves. Jeremy did it to get the Moonstone. Stefan did it to get Jeremy out. All of you need to quit trying to kill yourselves and focus on keeping everyone alive."

"No one will be alive when Klaus comes," Elena said bitterly, "not unless I get to him first."

"Why do you think that Elena?" Damon asked angrily. "He needs a lot more than just you to break the curse."

Elena hesitated. She had been so obsessed with getting to him to turn herself in that she hadn't thought about this further. "I would have asked him to leave you guys alone."

"Leave us alone," Damon repeated. "just to find another vampire, werewolf and witch to kill? Would he not still need those and the Moonstone?"

Elena sighed and closed here eyes. Maybe he was right.

"Everyone's still alive, Elena, despite all the self-sacrifice going on. No more. We have the Moonstone, we're going to figure it out."

Elena looked at him, almost desperately. "Stefan is with Katherine. He's not safe in there with her."

Damon tried to calm her, "He's safer with her than anyone else would be. He'll be fine."

Elena wasn't giving up. "We still need to get him out."

"We will. I told him I would find a way."

Elena nodded. "So he knows we're trying."

"He knows. He also knows that you come first. He wants us to work with the Moonstone."

"No!" Elena said sharply. "Not me, not the Moonstone. Stefan. We have to get him out."

Damon spoke softly, trying to calm her. "Elena, you saw Jeremy. You know what he did, what Stefan did. They did it to get the Moonstone. Stefan wants you to be safe, then we can work on him."

"I'm safe." Elena claimed almost bitterly. "Elijah wouldn't even take me."

"That was weird," Damon acknowledged. "But safe today, dead tomorrow. It happens all the time."

"I don't know what to do" Elena said, desperate again. "I can't even turn myself in. I can't do anything."

Damon reached around Elena to hug her, she let him.

"Go to bed. I'll be out here. Nothing will bother you tonight."

Elena held on to his hug for a few seconds, actually feeling comforted. The she pulled herself away and turned to enter her home.

"Nothing from the outside will bother me," she acknowledged. "Just my thoughts."


	9. Deals and Demons

_This missing scene begins the morning after By the Light of the Moon ..._

Damon was leaning against Elena's house as she walked through the door.

"Elena, free again," Damon said with a smirk, "things have changed since yesterday."

"They've changed," Elena said coolly, turning and starting to walk towards him. "I've taken back control of my life. Upset that I'm no longer your prisoner?"

"It wasn't my spell that kept you here," Damon retorted.

Elena had stopped next to him, within touching distance. "But it was your idea," Elena spat back. "I can't believe you turned Bonnie into your little henchman."

"Bonnie was willing to do anything to protect you, even from yourself," Damon said icily. "And she wasn't alone."

"I don't want or need anyone's protection," Elena said angrily. "I'm free now and you're all safe now. I got Stefan out of the tomb, and still protected everyone else I care about."

"At what price, Elena?" Damon asked.

Elena hesitated. She really did not want to discuss this with Damon. "Stefan didn't tell you?"

Damon was no longer glaring, but still upset. "Stefan told me about your deal. Did you tell him everything?"

Elena was not quite as calm and a little defensive. "Yes. I told him everything about my deal with Elijah."

"And what does Stefan say about your deal with the baddest vampire around?"

Elena hesitated and looked down briefly. "We didn't do much talking."

Damon pulled her chin up so their eyes would meet again. "Stefan tells me that Elijah said he will protect you until he is ready to draw out Klaus. Then he will use you to draw him out."

"That's what he said," Elena said, nodding slightly.

"And you believe him?" Damon asked, still holding her eyes.

"Yes," Elena said almost defensively. "Elijah will keep me safe until I am needed. I have everything I wanted. Stefan is out of the tomb. My family and friends are safe from Elijah and Klaus – including you."

"So everyone has what they want?" Damon's skepticism showed. "You have a safe family and friends. Stefan has his Elena back. Elijah has his doppelganger sacrifice."

"No" Elena denied, shaking her head. "Sacrifice was not part of the plan. Using me to draw Klaus out when Elijah is ready to kill him is the plan. He and his witches can keep me safe before Elijah comes, and after he comes as well. And since everyone is always trying to keep me safe, everyone has what they want. I'm safe now."

Damon continued to stare into her eyes. "You're right. Everyone wants you safe. Your family wants you safe because you are their sister or niece. Your friends want you safe because you are their friend. Stefan wants you safe for him. I just want you safe."

"So you're not my friend?" Elena asked, exasperated.

"You don't want me to be your friend – at least that's what you've said before, Elena. And I don't want to be friends with you - not just your friend. You're surrounded by friends already."

Elena realized what he was saying as she stared into his eyes and tried to control herself. She could hear every breath she took before she broke the silence. "You say you want me safe? I'm safe now. You have what you want."

Damon was still staring into her eyes. "You're a pawn in a game between Originals. That's not safe. Not even close."

"I did what I had to do. I'll do whatever I have to. Don't try to stop me again."

"Don't try to off yourself again."

Elena finally backed off slightly, nodding her head, but did not calm down. "That's part of the deal. I made a promise. I'm keeping it."

Damon nodded. His expression was unreadable now. "I made a promise too, Elena. I promised Stefan I would keep you safe. Stefan being back doesn't change anything. Even your deal with Elijah won't change it. I'm going to do whatever I have to to keep you safe."

Damon moved passed her and left her standing next to her house. Elena found herself taking deep, calming breaths as she watched him walk away.

_Really, what more do you need. Unification of the television story line with the Vampires and witches and Elena group of stories is so very close. Elena has made a deal with a vampire to protect (she thinks) family and friends. About all that is needed to finish unification would be for Elijah to start send her on errands..._


	10. A Delena Christmas Eve

_This missing scene begins - well, after the last one. The wait for a new episode is getting to me..._

A Delena Christmas Eve

Elena was leaving her home, heading to the boarding house. Damon was waiting outside her door again.

"Still watching out for me, Damon?" Elena asked as she turned towards him. "I told you that you don't need to."

"And I told you that I'm still going to do it."

Elena sighed. "I'm on my way to your house now Damon."

"I know. Stefan shared."

"Then come with me, if you want." Elena said.

Damon shook his head. "Watching you and Stefan together is not on my list of favorite things to do. If I am home tonight, which I may or may not be, I will be where you cannot see me and where I definitely cannot see you."

Elena shook her head slightly and exhaled. Damon spoke again before she responded.

"I came to bring you this." Damon handed Elena a box wrapped neatly in Christmas wrapping paper - with bow and everything.

Elena glanced at the present Damon put into her hands for a few seconds. "For me?" she asked just before looking into his eyes.

"It's not a puzzle Elena. It's a present."

"You celebrate Christmas?" she asked, her surprise showing in her face.

"Observe may be a better word."

"Observe," Elena repeated, looking at the present again. "By giving out presents."

"To people I care about," Damon confirmed. "It's been awhile since I've done it."

"Not even for Stefan?"

Damon shook his head. "We've not been around each other much. Really, that's not who we are – don't need it or want it."

Elena hesitated before saying "Damon…"

Damon quickly interrupted her. "It's a token, Elena. It's something normal I want to do for you."

Elena studied him for a second. It was her last chance to decline, but really, she wanted him to do normal things. "Okay. Thank you."

She opened her door again and motioned for him to follow her inside. She walked to the Christmas tree and placed his gift with the others underneath it.

Damon smirked. "Not opening it tonight?"

Elena shook her head, almost feeling guilty. "Stefan and I will exchange tonight. Maybe I'll open it when I get back."

Damon nodded.

"You're not going back to the boarding house tonight?" Elena asked to be sure she understood his plan.

"I will, I just don't know when. Whenever it is, I won't be seen by you."

Elena nodded and decided then. "I should give you this now, then," she said as she pulled a small package out of the bag she carried. Damon had assumed the bag contained Stefan's present.

Damon almost looked confused as he accepted the package. It was a wrapped present.

"It's a present, not a puzzle," Elena said.

Damon continued to stare at the present. "I had no idea you would…"

"It's not much," Elena interrupted. "I don't have much…much I can give you, but I wanted to say thank you."

Damon pulled his eyes from the box and looked at her.

Elena swallowed and said what she had been practicing. "I know you're doing all you can to help me, to protect me. I … I haven't been very nice about it. Sometimes I think you're butting in where I don't want you to."

She hesitated to try to read his expression, almost hoping he would say something. He didn't. "But I know you do it for me. You're trying to keep me safe."

Damon did speak now. "I am keeping you safe. You would have had an arrow in your heart. You would have …"

She quickly cut him off, maintaining eye contact. "I know Damon. Please. I know. I'm trying to say I appreciate it. No matter what I've said before, no matter if I agree with what you're doing, I know you're doing it for me. So thank you."

Damon nodded and put the present into his jacket pocket. It stuck out just a little.

"You're not going to open it tonight?" Elena asked.

"No. It's been a long time since I've had something to open Christmas morning. I'll do it then."

Elena nodded, actually feeling a little sorry for him. They stood in silence for a moment, each lost in their own thoughts, when Elena's phone vibrated.

"Stefan wants his Elena," Damon said, smirking again, as she pulled the phone it out. "I guess you're late."

Elena glanced at the phone, nodded and replaced it. She still did not move. Neither did Damon.

After a couple of minutes, Elena spoke. "Damon, please understand."

Damon looked at her and waited for her to speak again.

"Please understand why I try so hard with Stefan."

Damon nodded. "I do."

"Sometimes it's hard, but I really think that we…" Her voice trailed off.

When he didn't say anything, Elena spoke again. "The drama, the breaking up and getting back together – that's me. Not him. He's always just loved me."

Damon almost didn't say anything, but he finally did. "It sounds like you're the one with doubts."

Elena closed her eyes and exhaled. "All he's ever done is help me. All I've ever done is hurt him."

"Not true, Elena." Damon contradicted. "You've saved him – from vampires that were torturing him and from himself."

Elena looked into his eyes again. "You helped. You always do."

Damon had to shake his head. "I help you save him, I help him save you. I'm the great helper – the ever-loyal sidekick."

Elena sounded desperate when she repeated her plea. "Damon, please understand."

"I told you - I do."

Elena closed her eyes again and shook her head. "I don't see how. I don't really understand..."

Elena's phone vibrated again.

She sighed. "I…I'd better go. You?"

Damon nodded. "I'll go too."

"But not with me." She almost sounded disappointed.

They began walking to the door as Damon spoke. "You're safe. Will you tell Stefan what made you late?"

Elena shook her head. "What's between you and me will stay between us – unless you try to kill someone again."

"Fine by me." Damon said, suppressing a laugh as they walked through the door. "I'll be around - I need to check on Rose."

"I'm sorry she's hurt." Elena said looking at him again as they stood outside the closed door.

"I know you mean that, even though she basically kidnapped you to turn you in. Even though she ran when Elijah came for you."

Elena nodded. "She ran - you didn't. Anyway, I know she means something to you."

"She does. Not at all what you mean to me, but something. Merry Christmas, Elena." Damon said as he turned and walked away from her.

"Merry Christmas, Damon," Elena said. She watched him walk out of sight before going to her car.

* * *

_Merry Christmas to all who take the time to read this stuff. I'm sorry about using this to express my frustration at the show for just teasing us with Delena. I'm sure they'll come around - though it may not be for years. Until then, at least, I can play here (though I feel a need to keep close to the TV storyline - at least I have the other group of stories to let my Delena wishes come true). Anyway, thanks again and have a great holiday..._


	11. Not Human

_This missing scene occurs the day after The Descent…_

Elena was still worried about Damon. He had pushed her away the previous night, and she wanted to make sure he knew she was there for him.

It took her a little while to find him when she started looking. She had to get Stefan to give her some space, but he was willing.

He wasn't at the boarding house. Actually, she found him near her home. She wondered if he had been hiding from her. She approached him tentatively.

"Damon, do you need to talk about Rose?"

The vampire's face remained blank. "No, Elena. That's done. Nothing to say."

She was glad he didn't just walk away from her. "I know you're hurting Damon."

He looked annoyed now. "You knew that yesterday. Got anything new?"

"Don't push it away, Damon. Don't push me away. It helps to talk about it."

He closed his eyes and shook his head. "Nothing helps."

"I can't imagine having to do what you did to someone I cared about. But you had to, for her. I know it still hurts, but the pain makes us what we are."

"What am I, Elena?" His face was hard, but she didn't flinch.

"You're getting your humanity back. Don't give up now."

"I'm not human. That was stolen from me 150 years ago by the bitch in the tomb."

"But you still have humanity in you," the girl argued, "just like Stefan, just like Rose."

"Rose? She wanted to be human, but she wasn't. Look at what she did."

Elena flinched at the thought. "I know Damon, but she still had humanity. She was sorry for the killing. She said she never liked it."

Damon continued to stare at her, not softening. "She did say that. Lost her mind for a little, then regretted what she did. But before she went insane she kidnapped you to turn you over to die. I guess there are humans that would do that."

Elena let a breath out, closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead with one hand ."Stefan still has his humanity," she said before looking at him again.

"Stefan lives in the land of pretend. It worked, until he got a taste of your blood."

"That wasn't his fault," she argued. "We got him back to normal, me and you. You helped me and he's fine now."

"No, Elena. He was able to keep pretending until trouble came to town. Then he started drinking blood again. Maybe it is just a little every day but it's who he is."

"He's controlling it Damon, and you're the one who told me he needed it."

The vampire continued to hold her eyes. "I told you the truth Elena. And I'm telling it to you again – he's not human. Neither am I."

"At least he wants his humanity."

"He wants you."

Elena could not believe what this discussion had become. "He was this way before I met him, Damon. He wasn't pretending. Maybe you are, but not him."

Damon's expression finally did soften slightly as he shook his head. "No, Elena. I've never pretended. What I do for you is because I care about you. I want you safe and will do whatever it takes."

She continued to look at him, trying to come up with a response, when he spoke again. "You and those you care about are safe around me Elena. That hurts enough. I don't need anymore pain."

"I'm sorry about Rose, Damon." She said quickly, not sure what he meant. "I'm sorry you had to do that."

"Not your fault."

She looked at him desperately now. "Please don't give up. You can do this. I know it's hard…"

"No, Elena. You don't know. It's who you are, who you always have been. Maybe it's who Stefan is, but not me."

"But you can do this, just like he can."

"Stefan has you, Elena."

That made her pause. "I'll still help you with this. You know I will."

Damon nodded and turned to leave. "I know you will. I know you'll do all you can, Elena. It's who you are."

She let him walk away from her, not really understanding what he meant, but worrying.


	12. After the Sleepover

_This missing scene begins the morning after Daddy Issues…_

Elena had just left the Forbes house with Stefan and Bonnie when she saw Damon nearby. "Give me a minute, Stefan. OK?"

Stefan nodded. She couldn't help feeling relieved that he was acting normal again after all they had been through. His insecurity with their relationship seemed to be gone.

Damon watched from the tree he leaned against as she approached. Stefan watched from behind. She was the center of attention, and it still made her uncomfortable.

"Are you alright?" She asked Damon as she reached him. She noticed she had gotten closer to him than she intended, but did not back away. "Stefan told me what happened when you went after Caroline."

"Then he told you we all made it out alive."

"Thanks to Elijah's witch." She noted, her face clearing reflecting the unspoken words - 'I told you so.'

Damon scowled. "Yeah, Elena. We were trapped by a pack of werewolves while trying to save Goldilocks and were saved by a witch spouting about how it's all for you. I get it. You saved me again."

She didn't expect that reaction. "That's not what I meant, Damon."

His face remained hard. "Next time just send the witch after her. Don't send me into traps with orders to keep kidnappers alive."

"I didn't send the witch Damon, and I won't take Tyler so lightly now, but he didn't do it."

"It still happened, Elena. The love of your life almost died."

This caught her off guard as well. "You…he…nobody died, Damon. Elijah kept his word."

"What do you think that means, Elena?"

"My deal with him works. He's doing his part." She was able to hold his eyes though he still hadn't softened.

"It doesn't make him good. It doesn't make him truthful."

She couldn't believe what he was saying. She started to glare at him. "Who are you to talk about either?"

His expression did change now, it reflected the sarcasm in his words. "Haven't you heard? I'm good now – especially when you do the eye thing at me."

"What? You're the one with the eye thing.

"Like you don't know. 'Oh, I'm Elena. You love me. You do anything I ask. Everyone lives, even if they want you dead. Even if they want me dead'.

The human couldn't decide how to react. "Damon, no! I've never done that."

"Of course not. Because your heart is pure." He sounded bitter now. "Too pure for me. Too pure to see that not everyone can live, that some must die."

Elena shook her head. "Not for me. Not because of me. Too many have died already."

His glare was in place again. "Not too many Elena. Just the wrong ones. Those that want to sacrifice you or use you still live."

"I have a deal with Elijah, Damon. I'm keeping it, and you couldn't kill him anyway."

"I'm willing to try again." Did he look smug now? "Got a dagger and ash from your dad. He said it would kill an Original."

She looked at him, her face reflecting her disbelief. "What? You believe him?"

"Stefan thinks Uncle John is helping, don't you?"

She scowled. "No, and don't you ever tell him to keep me someplace again."

Damon glared back at her. "I don't trust him either, Elena. Rick will check into the ash/dagger thing. Maybe it will turn out that he's telling the truth. But Elena, it doesn't matter. He can tell you and me that he's here to protect you, but it doesn't make it true."

"I know that Damon. I told you I don't believe him."

"Elijah can send a witch to save me, but it doesn't mean he's telling the truth either."

For some reason, her anger left. She tried to control herself as she responded. "It's all I've got Damon."

"Not true, Elena." Damon said, his expression also returning to normal. "You have Stefan, Bonnie and Caroline. And you still have me. You may be stuck in a game between Originals, but one way or another, you're getting out alive."

"One way or another," he repeated as he turned and walked away from her.

She watched him walk away from her, thinking about how he kept telling her the same thing over and over, thinking that she might be starting to believe him.


	13. Take Me to Damon

_This missing scene begins shortly after Stefan walks away from Elena close to the end of the episode "Crying Wolf"…_

Damon's phone rang again. It had been a number of minutes since he had finished talking with Stefan and he had expected to be done with calls for the day. If the call was a surprise, the caller was even more surprising.

"Elena. I thought you were with the love of your life. Sneaking away to call me so soon?"

Elena sounded desperate to him. "Damon, please. I need your help."

The vampire's tone changed from snarky to bland. "I just got off of the phone with Stefan. If you were in trouble, he would have told me."

"Stefan's upset. I don't know what to do."

"Upset? With you right next him?" He sounded annoyed to Elena now.

"You told him that Elijah was going to let me be sacrificed. Now he's calling me a martyr and tragic. He left awhile ago and hasn't come back."

Snarky was back. "So you want me to go there and comfort you."

Elena was the annoyed one now. "This is serious. Quit smarting off."

"I am serious, Elena. I will go and…"

"Damon!" she interrupted. "I've been paying attention. You don't try to get between me and Stefan anymore. You just help me. Please, help me now. Help me figure out what to say, how to get him to understand."

"Understand why you want to die? You think I want to help you with that?"

"You know what will happen if I don't go through with it. Everyone I love will die, including him and you." Her desperation was back.

"You're still on the it's you or them kick? Is Stefan."

Elena hesitated. "I don't know. He left without hearing me out."

Damon's voice was hard now. "You mean without listening to your rationalization. Even he sees it now, that you're giving up."

"I'm making a choice, Damon."

His tone didn't soften. "So are we. We're looking for a different way."

"Different way to what?" Elena asked suspiciously.

"We're looking for a way to take out Elijah before he kills you."

"Damon, don't. Do not confront him." She actually sounded concerned.

His voice was bland again. "Too late. Already did."

"No! Damon - he'll kill you."

"Actually it turns out he'll just shove a pencil into my throat and lecture me about how I'm only alive if I keep you safe."

She took a second to process what he said before asking . "Did he really do that? Did it hurt you?"

He responded enunciating each word dramatically. "Yes, Elena it hurt – my throat and my pride." Then he just sounded angry. "It didn't help when the wolf pack chained me up and started torturing me to get me to tell them about the moonstone."

She found herself swallowing before asking quietly, "Torturing?"

"Yeah. I learned a thing or two – things I can use in the future…"

"Damon, please don't."

"Just kidding, Elena."

"How did you get away?" she asked quickly to get her mind away from torturing of or by him.

"Your new boss - Elijah. He came, ripped a few hearts out, and told me he saved my life – again."

"Elijah," she whispered.

"I won't describe to you what happened to me, Elena, but the worst part is that he was right. I'm sick of it. I'd rather die than have him – or you - save me again."

"Damon, I'm so sorry about what happened."

"Don't be. While I was being stabbed and shot – or whatever - witches were casting. Now we know we can't just rip Elijah's throat out. Now we know his plan for you. And all it cost was a few wolves and my personal pain and blood. I've felt worse. "

Elena sighed. "It's me or you, Damon. I don't want to live if you're gone…all of you. Any of you."

"You did fine without us."

"Things are different now," she claimed.

"We didn't do well without you. You know what we were."

"Like I said, you're different now, better. And I know Stefan changed before we met."

"You know he's nothing without you, certainly nothing good." Damon sounded a little bitter to her.

"Damon, please. Just help me with Stefan now. I can't stand that he's upset with me, that he doesn't understand."

"He'll never understand what you want him to, Elena. Find a different way to reach him."

She exhaled and shook her head. "I tried to explain, he walked away."

"His loss, Elena. You have choices, you know. I would never walk out on you just because I didn't like what you were saying."

"I'm sure he's just blowing off steam," she said, trying to ignore what he was saying.

She thought she actually heard him sigh. "He's afraid of losing you Elena."

"So he walks away?"

"So he lets you think about it, lets you decide what to do. And he prepares himself for the worst."

Elena understood. "OK. So I go to him and…?" Her voice trailed off.

He couldn't believe she was this dense. Surely she was just liking his voice, trying to stay on the phone with him. "And say 'take me to Damon'."

She kind of snorted – he appreciated it.

"Or ask him what he means. Let him tell you. God knows you haven't listened to me, maybe he can get through to you. You like him."

"I like you too, Damon. Thank you."

"But don't be afraid to demand he bring you to me…if you decide you don't like…"

"Goodbye Damon," Elena interrupted.

"Be safe, Elena."


	14. After the Party

After the Party

_This missing scene begins after the end of "The Dinner Party"…_

She was alone in the kitchen of her home when he showed up.

"It's been a hard day, Damon. I'm tired."

"I know." The vampire said. "I saw. Stabbed yourself, grew a backbone, killed an Original. I know how hard that is. Did it myself once, though he didn't really stay dead."

She really was tired, so she sat at the table as she responded to him. "And, I did the research that kept you alive, even though you kept your stupid plan from me."

"The stupid plan worked, Elena." He remained standing, next to the door, his face showing no emotion.

"That's not the point," she said glaring at him, just a little. "You kept it from me. All this talk about keeping me safe but you and Stefan just lied to me."

"We did what we had to do, Elena. Anytime we mentioned to you that we didn't like your plan, you'd say 'I'm protecting everyone I love – even you'," he did an exaggerated, bad imitation of her voice. Then he switched back to normal. " Not that you mentioned the part where you expected to die. We weren't the only ones keeping things to ourselves."

She rubbed her forehead with one hand, eyes closed. She had already done this with Stefan, she didn't want to do it with Damon as well. "I did what I thought was right, Damon." She looked at him again. "Now we have no idea what will happen, no idea who'll show up next."

"You're right, Elena. We don't know who will come. Since Rose knew about you, others probably know – they could show up anytime. But we do know one thing."

She hesitated to let him finish before forcing herself to ask, "Yeah? What's that?"

"We know Elijah won't kill you or turn you over to be sacrificed." His face continued to be blank..

Elena broke eye contact with him. She felt so tired. She put her head into her hand again, her elbow on the table, and spoke softly. "We do it my way now. You both agreed."

"We did agree, Elena. I will do it your way, as long as you fight. As long as you don't go kamikaze again."

"I was never suicidal, Damon, just resigned to my fate."

She saw his face harden ever so slightly. "Maybe you're not, but Uncle John is. He tried to get me killed."

She didn't want to argue with him about this either. "You're alive. I kept you alive. That's getting to be a bad habit."

His smirk appeared now. "I'd ask you why, but it's obvious – my looks and personality." Then he mimicked looking thoughtful. "I don't know why Rick is so keen on helping me."

"He's looking out for Jenna."

Damon ignored her comment, continuing his thought. "Even Katherine let me live, though I was the one who trapped her in the tomb for weeks."

Elena was unsure what he meant. "Katherine?" she asked tentatively.

"Oh, right. You didn't hang around. She showed up, in my shower. Elijah compelled her to stay in the tomb, you stabbed him with fancy dagger and ash, ergo…"

Elena could feel fear added to her weariness. She buried her face in her hand again. "God, what am I going to do?"

Damon didn't respond. She glanced back up at him to try to read his expression.

"She's the one who brought everything together, Damon," she said, justifying her reaction to the news. "She was going to turn me over to Klaus."

Damon looked at her with a hard expression. "Don't, Elena. Not again."

"Don't what?"

"Don't revert - no giving up. You faced an Original today, and you took him out." His face softened as he continued, a little sarcastically, "Besides, she says she's turned over a new leaf. She's here to help us protect you."

The human closed her eyes and shook her head. "Like we can believe her."

His words brought her eyes back to his.

"See, Elena? You're still smart - as well as being strong."

She held his eyes for a few seconds before he spoke again. "You're tired too. Go to bed. We've got Katherine covered and you need to work out this 'my way' strategy of yours."

Elena nodded and rose to leave. Before leaving the kitchen, she turned back to him. "Thank you, Damon."

"For?"

"I'm not the only one who faced an Original today," she said before turning away from him and heading for the stairs.


	15. Trusting Katherine

_This missing scene begins about 7 minutes before the end of __The House Guest_ _as Damon and Stefan watch a mini-confrontation between Elena and Katherine…_

"So I'm not a threat to you, Elena. If any of you are going to believe anything, believe that!"

Katherine stared at Elena after saying the words. The human broke eye contact first, looking past her to Stefan, then turning back to Damon.

It didn't help. She couldn't tell what either was thinking.

Elena heard Stefan from behind her as she looked at Damon. "I'm taking her away now."

She turned back and tried to look past Katherine as she spoke. "Thank you. See you tomorrow?"

Stefan nodded and then looked at Damon for a few seconds.

"Afraid you can't handle her?" Damon smirked. "I'll be there in a minute."

Stefan made a sound of exasperation and pushed a grinning Katherine out through the front door.

Elena watched them leave and then turned back to face the remaining vampire. "I have a bad feeling about this."

Damon's face was tight, maybe strained. He looked past her to the closed door. He didn't respond.

"Damon?" Elena asked tentatively. "Are you buying what she's selling? Do you believe her?"

Damon's eyes finally moved to her as he nodded. "She's had her chances to kill you. Now she does this. She wants you alive."

Elena looked dubious.

"Me, on the other hand," Damon continued. "she doesn't care about, me she is willing let die."

The thought of the look Damon had when he found out Katherine was not in the tomb rushed into Elena's mind. The look that had made her feel so bad for him that she had hugged him.

She resisted the urge to do it again - she knew he was over Katherine now. "You're still alive Damon."

"Because of you." Damon said, still holding her eyes.

Though the distance remained between them, they were both speaking softly.

"We help each other," Elena said. "We keep each other alive."

"I'm glad you finally see that, Elena."

Elena's face showed her confusion. "See what?"

She thought his face hardened slightly as she spoke. "You're still alive. Do you know who's not alive? The people who wanted you to die. Rose, Elijah, the witches…"

"They didn't want me to die, Damon. Rose wanted to live, to stop running. Dr. Martin just wanted his daughter back."

"Then call them the people who were willing to let you die to get what they want."

Elena exhaled and closed her eyes briefly. She opened them to look at Damon when he spoke again.

"Are you still a member of that club?"

Elena shook her head. "I'm not like them, not like that, Damon."

Damon didn't speak, he just looked at her with a hard expression.

"It's not the same Damon. I'm like you and Stefan. Either of you would die to keep me safe. I'd do the same for you …both."

Damon shook his head and almost laughed. "Even Katherine protects you. You really are going to make it out of this mess alive."

"I still don't trust her," she whispered. "Do you?"

Damon closed the gap between them as he spoke. "I don't have to trust her. I already know she's fine if I die, though now I think she'll do what she can to keep you alive."

It sounded like he wasn't quite done when he stopped speaking. Elena hesitated to see if he would say more as she looked into his eyes, just inches away from hers now.

"But?" she finally asked.

Damon pulled his head up suddenly and looked towards the door. He backed away a couple of steps before returning his eyes to hers.

"But nothing. She's not a threat to you, to your safety, anyway. She is a threat to your love life – she still wants what you have."

Elena hesitated briefly before asking "Stefan?"

"Jenna's here." Damon said before she saw the blur as he left her alone near the stairs.

Her eyes remained where his had been before he made his exit. She forced herself to blink and realized she had no idea where he had gone to exit the house.

_Really, Katherine replacing Elena to take out the threat? The alignment of the TV story line with the __Vampires and Witches and Elena__ group of stories is all but complete…_

_And Isobel is back. Yay! I love Isobel-probably because last time she was here, she tormented Alaric at the beginning and expressed her undying love for him at the end. And surely she'll bring up Damon's love for Elena again…_


	16. Hate and Meaning

_This missing scene begins shortly after the Elena/John scene which is almost at the end of __Know Thy Enemy_

"What did he say when you said you could learn not to hate him?"

Elena looked at Damon, trying to read his expression before answering. She had been looking for Stefan, but had found Damon alone near the fireplace, thinking.

"Nothing really, but it seemed to satisfy him"

The vampire continued to stare at the fire as he spoke. "I understand what he's thinking. As much as he's done that's hurt you…"

He turned to look at her. They were both sitting, though several feet apart. "Do you think you could learn not to hate me?"

Elena had been looking at the fire, but turned to meet his eyes. "I don't hate you Damon."

She didn't continue, so he finally spoke, "You did."

She had to break eye contact. She turned back to the fire before nodding. "You wanted me to. You did things meant to make me hate you. Every time you started to feel something, you tried break it by hurting me."

His reply made her turn back to him. "Not every time, Elena. Not for a long time now."

She continued to look into his eyes as she answered. "And yet, you also did things to protect me, to help me. You're doing these now."

Damon nodded and they both looked back into the fire.

"I've lost a lot today, Damon. Isobel said some things that make me think she might have actually loved me."

Damon laughed slightly, though he did not turn to look at her. "Everyone loves you."

Elena looked at him, but turned her head towards the fire again when his didn't turn to her. "Even John, who I have always despised, who screwed everything up, may have been trying to look out for me. I have no idea what to think about anyone anymore."

Damon waited a moment to see if she would continue, then said "You don't have to wonder about me, about what I'll do."

She turned to him again. "I know. You and Stefan - I know what you'll do." She closed her eyes and shook her head, speaking under her breath "I just don't know what I…"

She cut herself off when she opened her eyes an his were looking into hers. She turned her head quickly back to the fire.

"Things are so messed up. Jenna's gone, Caroline's frantic, and I watched my mother die today. Finally, after all this time, she says something nice to me, then…"

Elena exhaled and added "Not that I ever said anything nice to her."

"She was being compelled, Elena."

She turned back to look at him. "I think she meant what she said."

"She did, Elena. The compulsion dictated her actions, not her words. She knew what was going to happen to her. She was probably telling the truth."

Elena turned away from him again, but looked at her shoes instead of into the fire. "My grandparents are alive. She said they visit her marker every week."

"She's trying to give you connections, to give you the family she couldn't be."

She looked back to him, but he was still staring at the fire.

"I don't need anyone else to die because of me, Damon."

He did look her now, his face hard. "Klaus, Elena. They died because of Klaus, not you."

His expression made her lower her eyes as she spoke softly, "They're still dead."

"Not because of you. I think we've pretty well weeded out your betrayers, but we'll keep our eyes open."

She had looked at him again when he spoke. He turned back to stare into the fire. "Stefan's back."

She look behind them, then heard the front door close. She rose, walked to Damon, and whispered into his ear as he faced the fire.

"I don't hate you Damon. Not even close. Actually, you mean a lot to me right now."

He turned to watch her leave.

_Really? Isobel, all-knowing 'research expert', allows herself to fall into compulsion?_

_Not in __my __world. The "Vampire and Witches and Elena" stories have an Isobel who would not be so careless. The writers are out to get me for some reason or other…_

_Also there seems to be an increase in the promo scenes that never quite make it to the show as we actually see it. How much longer can this go on?_

_Yet I am the idiot that ABBA sang about:_

"It's so strange when you're down and lying on the floor  
How you rise, shake your head, get up and ask for more"

_Yeah, I'll be there on Thursday again, hoping they finally come through with some of the promises made in promos…Hoping they see the Delena light…_


	17. Choosing

_Not really a missing scene this time…just a little visit into Elena's head in the last couple of scenes of the episode "The Last Dance."_

"I will always. Choose. You."

She had to hesitate, to look into Damon's eyes, to see if there was anything there other than the finality, the determination of his words.

She saw nothing else.

She knew then that, if she ever really had a deal with Damon about doing things her way, it was over. No matter how much she insisted that those around her be kept safe, no matter what price she was willing to pay with herself, he would do anything to keep her alive, to keep her safe.

She wanted to argue with him, and she wanted to thank him. It was flattering, comforting and infuriating all at the same time.

She barely managed to whisper "good night, Damon." She was barely able to force herself to turn away from him, from the strength and determination in his eyes.

There was a time when she might not have taken his words seriously, when she might have thought he was just talking, couldn't really do it.

Not now. She had just seen him working with a witch to pull a ruse on Klaus, to hide Bonnie from him. Beyond all reason or understanding, her best friend, the witch who had tried to kill him a few months earlier, was working with him. Conspiring with him, keeping their plan from her. Taking on Klaus

Damon had staked Elijah himself, and when that hadn't worked, he had gotten Alaric and even her to stab the Original with dagger and ash.

She was starting to believe he could do anything he wanted. She was coming to understand that he was willing to do anything to protect her.

She found herself looking back at him a couple of times as she left him standing there, his expression remained unchanged as he watched her leave.

"I will always. Choose. You." The words remained in her mind. He would always choose her, and it seemed he could do anything. Human, and witch, worked with him to keep her safe, but he would let either die to keep her alive. Worse, the human and the witch were just as willing themselves to die for her.

He would give up any of those around her, and worse still, he would give himself up for her. He had already moved between her and an arrow that could have killed her – or him. He had already put himself between her and Elijah when she knew he had no hope of keeping the Original away from her.

"I will always. Choose. You." The words were haunting her now. He had always chosen her, and no matter what he did, no matter who he hurt, she had always done everything in her power to keep him alive, to save him.

His past constantly got him into trouble. In Georgia with an irate vampire, more recently with an irate Bonnie. She had found herself talking to vampire and witch, convincing them to not kill him, to leave him alone. Even if there was no one to talk to, if he was caught inside and in danger somewhere, she would go in after him and bring him out. Whatever he had done before her, to her or around her, she did everything she could to keep him alive.

He was often in danger because of who he was and what he had done, she was in grave danger because of who she was. He said he would always choose her, and he had proven it true. Was she choosing him just as much?

Then she wondered if she had ever apologized to him before. She had slapped him before, and he always just took it, eventually stopping her, never retaliating or taking advantage of his vastly superior strength. He was always perfectly controlled when near her, no matter what she was doing.

"I will always. Choose. You."

She knew that this was not just about Bonnie. The witch was as stubborn as Elena about making her own choices in this situation, and Elena couldn't talk her out of it. She had to accept that Bonnie, Damon and who knew who else would do anything to save her.

Maybe Stefan as well, but there was a difference. Stefan would stay with her until she asked him to leave, then he would leave. Damon wouldn't leave. Stefan would try to save everyone around her like she wanted. Damon didn't care about others, he would do what he needed to do to save her.

Yet Bonnie was alive, Klaus deceived, and the first encounter with the Original apparently a success. Not because of Stefan or anyone else - because of Bonnie, because of Damon.

"I will always. Choose. You," he had said, and he would. No matter the cost, to him or anyone else. He had put himself between her and danger before, he would do the same with Klaus - which would probably get him killed..

He would always choose her, and she would always protect him. Would she choose him as well?

Maybe, but she couldn't think about that now. Protect him first, choose later. She would protect him, and everyone else she loved, the only way she could. She would bring Elijah back.

She had been moving in that direction anyway. Now she started being careful, looking around.

By the time she reached the body, the decision had been made. She didn't hesitate.

"I will always. Choose. You." The words went through her mind as she pulled the dagger from Elijah. The Original was her answer, her way to keep Damon safe this time. She would convince Elijah to keep their original deal, to protect those around her, those she loved – including Damon. As she moved back to sit and wait for Elijah to return, though, she wondered if, just based on the past, she would have to protect the Original from Damon as much as she would have to protect Damon from Elijah.

_Finally a smidgen of Delena is back. I could complain about the amount, but I should praise them, encourage them to do more. Though they already know. There's a reason Damon (rather than Stefan) was with Elena in the promos. They know what we want…_

_Oh, and Elena has figured out that having a witch next to her helps her stay safe. I could point out where we've heard that before, but the obvious is, well…obvious…_


	18. The Better Man

_This missing scene begins shortly after Damon sends Andie away near the end of the episode "Klaus"…_

He heard his name whispered through his closed door. He answered in a normal, annoyed voice.

"What do you want, Elena?"

She took it as permission for her to enter. She did so quietly and closed the door behind her. She took a few seconds to look around his room before looking at him, trying to read his expression. He looked upset.

"You sent Andie away didn't you?"

He hesitated, waiting for more, before speaking. "This is what you came here for?"

"You sent her away because she's not safe with you when you're this upset."

She watched a glare form on his face as he spoke, "So why are you here? Isn't it dangerous?"

"You won't hurt me." She managed to say it without flinching.

He looked at her for a second before looking at his drink. "What do you want, Elena?"

She released a breath and closed her eyes before looking at him. His eyes met hers again, though the glare had softened slightly.

"I don't ask for much, Damon, especially not from you. But I'm asking you to apologize to Elijah."

He quickly turned away from her, looking at his drink before moving the glass to his lips again.

She watched him, but he didn't turn back to her.

"Damon, please. As a favor for me."

He did turn back now, glare almost there again. "Shall I apologize to the arrow for keeping it from your heart?"

The girl, lowered her head, closed her eyes and tired to think of a response. He spoke before she had one.

"Will you apologize to the sheriff for stopping her from killing Stefan and me?"

"It's not the same, Damon," she whispered, eyes still closed.

He waited for her to open her eyes to respond. He spoke slowly, enunciating each word. "I will never apologize for protecting you."

"Stefan did, and you know he wants to protect me."

Damon laughed humorlessly. "He does. He will protect you from everyone but yourself. And maybe him."

She looked down but kept her eyes open this time. "He wants me safe, you want me safe. I told you, Elijah explained it all to me. I don't have to die. None of us does."

"Funny that he left that part out until we killed him. Twice."

She looked back up at him. At least the glare was gone, not that it helped. This wasn't working.

"Damon, please. For me. I thought you'd do anything for me. We need him."

Damon nodded. "I would do anything for you – anything but let you kill yourself."

She bit her lip. "That's not what this is about. You said you hoped we would find a different way. This is it."

"Maybe it is, maybe not. But if I think he's keeping anything from us, he's gone."

Elena face reflected the shock she felt briefly before she was able to control herself again. "No. Damon, no. Don't even try. He's got the dagger – you couldn't kill him anyway."

He could see that she really didn't believe what she had just said. "That's not the only way to kill an original." His eyes gave her a meaningful look.

This obviously upset her. "No Damon. Leave Bonnie out of it. I'll go to her anyway, convince her. She won't help you."

"Yeah, you're doing a lot of convincing with her. Is she listening yet?"

"Damon, please. So don't apologize, but please don't interfere."

He was a little taken aback that she was so upset, but didn't soften his stare.

"No promises, Elena. If it comes down to you and Bonnie or you and Elijah or you and anyone else, you know what my choice will be."

She held his eyes as long as she could before dropping hers as she nodded. "At least stop fighting with Stefan."

He watched her eyes return to his before responding. "Do you know what we were fighting about?"

She nodded. "I don't want you two to fight."

"I'm not the one bringing the subject up. Do you want me to deny the truth? What you both already know?"

She thought of the words she had said to him before, 'Be the better man, Damon'. She didn't say them, and he was speaking again anyway.

"You know what I'll do, Elena. I'm not going to follow you around like a little puppy, or agree with everything you say, and I'm not going to deny what you already know. I am going to protect you from everyone, including yourself. Don't expect anything less from me."

She released a breath and nodded. She had known when she had come up what the answers would be, but it didn't help. As she turned around, she was again conflicted in her feelings about what he was doing – upset that her requests were being rejected, yet comforted that she had someone who would, no matter what, do everything he could to protect her.

"Goodnight, Damon," she whispered before closing the door behind her.


	19. Death and Life

_These missing scenes begin at the end of the episode "The Last Day"…_

Damon

He had no idea what she was thinking, no idea what the expression she wore as she looked at him meant.

It hadn't been that long ago when she had confirmed to him that it was never him she loved, it had always been his brother. Maybe he should have known, the signs were there, but he didn't care. She was what he wanted, but when she finally told him the truth, all it did was hurt.

She looked at the bite, and back into his eyes with the expression he couldn't read and didn't want to read. What she thought no longer mattered. It was her doppelganger that mattered. It was what Elena thought that he cared about.

Well, that was not really true either. He knew what Elena thought, she thought that whether she lived or died did not matter. She thought he would just let her sacrifice herself relying on potions and Originals. She thought he had done the worst thing he could do by ensuring she would live, one way or the other.

She hated him for it. Fine. That was a price he was willing to pay. She had thrown him out after he had ensured she would live and he was forced to defend himself against his brother's attacks. He didn't care about that either.

But when Elijah said she would never forgive him, when Rick told him he had screwed up, he began to doubt himself. Maybe he had screwed up. The chances he had to be alone with Elena were so rare before now. Rare, but at least they happened. If they both made it out of this mess alive, would she just be gone? Would he lose her because he saved her?

He had ensured she would make it through the night alive, in one form or another. He had already saved her from herself, now he would try to save her from Klaus. Now he would try to save what she still had that he wanted so badly – her humanity. He couldn't get his back, but he would try to keep her alive through the night so she could keep hers.

He had needed a little help to rescue Vampire Barbie and the werewolf, it had cost him a fatal bite, but he didn't care. It was for Elena.

Elena's plan was idiotic, disjointed. Trust Elijah, first when he told her nothing and she expected to die, then when he talked about magic potions and she hoped to live. She was so blinded that she would still risk the werewolf and the vampire, who would have to die before Klaus would kill her and the potion could do its magic. She talked about the witch dying if she channeled her ancestors, yet that still remained part of the plan. It made no sense to him.

It was just as unbelievable that his brother was willing to stand there and let her sacrifice herself, let Klaus take her, let her choose to die. Well, not the last one, not anymore – no thanks to Stefan.

Now he was doomed to die. She might never know what he had tried to do for her, for those she loved. Still fine. If she hated him as much as everyone said, she wouldn't miss him, so he had kept her from that pain as well.

He wouldn't miss her either, not after the bite took effect. One way or another, he was dead. One way or another, he would save her humanity before he died.

He looked back into the eyes of the original Petrova doppelganger. He had loved her just as much as he loved Elena. He had risked his life time after time to save them both, while they just pined after his brother. His brother who would let either of them die.

Her choice, Stefan had told him. Her choice to die.

Not anymore. Not tonight.

He couldn't decide who was the bigger idiot, the Petrova doppelgangers or him. It didn't matter. He was dead.

But before that happened, he would try to save her humanity one more time.

* * *

Elena

She couldn't believe it. She had done everything Klaus wanted, everything both Originals wanted. But Jenna was here, changing before her eyes.

She had failed to protect those she loved. It wasn't supposed to be this way. Maybe Tyler and Caroline would be here, but Bonnie was supposed to be here as well, channeling witches, killing Klaus.

The only one here with her was Jenna, someone she had done everything she could to keep out of all of this. Someone she had tried hardest to protect.

She wasn't able to protect anyone. Bonnie refused to listen to her, Jeremy insisted on being involved, but she thought Jenna would be safe. Not so. Jenna was here, becoming vampire – a vampire doomed to die.

She couldn't blame Stefan. He had tried to stop her from going to Klaus. He did wait until the Original had come for her, but he had tried. She had talked him out of it. There was a plan in place, he wasn't part of it. So she kissed him, told him she loved him, and convinced him to close his eyes. He was safe now, like all the others. Like Jenna was supposed to be.

As she stared at her aunt, she remembered that Damon had ignored her when she had tried to do the same thing with him. She had gone to turn herself in, to let Elijah take her. Damon didn't let her go to him. Damon just threatened to break her arm and moved between her and the Original.

And Elijah didn't take her.

Damon told her time after time he would find a way to keep her alive and he had. Now she would live whether Bonnie killed Klaus or not. The selfish bastard had kept his promise to her. She was no longer at risk. Jenna was at risk.

Jenna was at risk, and Damon had disappeared. Well, she had kicked him out after he kept his promise to her. Maybe he was still out wreaking havoc, maybe what happened to Jenna was his fault as well. After all, he had done essentially the same thing to her.

Then she remembered telling Stefan that all of this was her fault. Stefan had assured her it was not her fault, it was because of Klaus. Would he say the same thing now? He had fought with Damon after he had forced her to drink his blood.

It made her shiver. Damon's blood was in her system. He had found the way to keep her alive, then taunted Stefan. The brothers fought, and she sent Damon away. She and Stefan talked about choices, love and life as a vampire. She meant every word she said to him. She didn't want to be a vampire, but would she rather die? It was not a thought that had occurred to her before. Before, it was either live or die trying to save her family.

She glanced from Jenna to the witch – the witch who claimed the Martins were wasting their time looking for her. Had they died in vain?

She hadn't been able to protect Jenna – not from Katherine, not from Klaus.

Stefan hadn't been able to protect her from Katherine either, she had ended up hurt and then kidnapped. He didn't even try to protect her from Klaus.

Elijah's plan relied on her being sacrificed, along with vampire and werewolf. Elijah's plan relied on a magic potion and a miraculous resurrection – for her, but what about the vampire and the werewolf?

She exhaled and shook her head as she watched her aunt. No one was protecting anyone. No one except Damon. No matter what happened, she would live, have some sort of a chance at life.

Stefan had let her walk away, Damon wouldn't. She looked around, past the flames, at the trees, sure that somewhere nearby, Damon was still trying to protect her. He always would, no matter what she said to or about him.

That was who Damon was. He would be out there somewhere, and if the roles were reversed, she, no matter what he had done to her, would find a way to protect him.


	20. The Saved and the Doomed

_These missing scenes begin after "The Sun Also Rises"_

"All that talk about keeping me safe, about saving me, and he just leaves?"

Elena was in her home with Stefan. People and been coming all day, but it finally seemed to have stopped. She didn't know how long she could stay there, knowing that Jenna would never come back. Jenna and others.

She had alternatives – technically she owned the Boarding House, and there was the lake house as well. Did she have three houses now? Three houses and no parents. She'd rather have some family back.

Stefan could only shake his head to her comment. She was in mourning, devastated by what had just happened in her life. So much so that he really didn't expect her to even notice Damon's absence. Really, it was more hope than expectation, a futile hope.

She looked at him only briefly, then closed her eyes and shook her head. "How could he do this to me?" She was whispering to herself, really.

Stefan had no idea what she meant. "You kicked him out, Elena."

She narrowed her eyes as she looked at him again. "That never stopped him before. He's so selfish."

Really, she couldn't believe what she was saying out loud. She wasn't able to convey what she was really thinking to Stefan, wasn't even sure she wanted to. She felt abandoned. She was coming to realize something she didn't like, that she was alive because of Damon. Again.

"You know him Elena. I tried to get him to come."

Elena only nodded, then noticed someone in the doorway behind Stefan – someone not welcome. The arrival had been so quiet, not even Stefan had noticed. It was another sign that she wasn't safe in her own home – not this one anyway. She glared at the intruder.

"You're not welcome here."

"But I am invited," Katherine retorted. "I'm not here to see you." She turned to Stefan and asked "Is Damon here? I tried your house, though I couldn't enter," she shot Elena a quick glare before turning back to Stefan.

Elena let some of her frustration out as Stefan shook his head. "And why would you think he was here? He obviously doesn't care how I am."

Katherine's glare disappeared as she focused on Elena again. "I thought for sure he would..." She turned back to Stefan and studied him for a second. "She doesn't know, does she?"

Stefan just gave her a terse look, whispering "Damon doesn't want her to," softly enough that Elena didn't hear.

"Know what?" Elena demanded, still glaring at Katherine.

Katherine ignored her, she just stared at Stefan. "Do you really think she won't find out? She'll hate you for this."

Stefan just stood there with a helpless look on his face. It infuriated the other vampire and the human.

"Find out about what?" Elena demand again, looking from her ancestor to her boyfriend and back.

Katherine turned back to Elena. "I'm so sick of seeing Stefan and Damon fawn over you while you sit there leading them both on, blinded to the truth."

"Katherine!" Stefan interrupted sharply. "She's in mourning."

The elder Petrova's eyes remained locked with her doppelganger. "Yeah, I've heard. But I've suffered a loss as well. Isobel was not only family, but as close as I had to a friend."

Elena's glare didn't falter. "You don't seem too broke up about it,"

"Says the human who doesn't know anything, who trusts Originals and who hates the only ones trying to keep her alive. I've mourned more people than you'll ever meet. I gave up the teary-eyed part long ago."

Katherine shook her head and her glare softened slightly. "But you're as close to family as I have now."

Elena's reply reflected her continuing glare. "What's that supposed to mean."

"It means that if you learn anything from the past few days it should be that those you hate are the ones trying to protect you. That are protecting you."

Stefan had moved next to Elena and tried to touch her. She just shoved his arm away.

Katherine shook her head again and started towards the door when she heard Elena's yell. "You think I don't know that?" Then the human added in a much softer voice "I know who's doing what. I know I'm alive now because of Damon."

Katherine turned back to look at Elena, her face still hard. "Then maybe you ought to thank him. Thank all of us."

Stefan interrupted now, "Thank you? You're nothing but selfish. Who knows how many have died because you want to stay alive."

Katherine's eyes moved from Elena to the man she had loved as human and vampire. She was starting to wonder what she had seen in him. "Yeah, a trail of blood and bodies because I want to live. Because I'm selfish. But where did your selflessness get her?" Katherine nodded to Elena. "She would be dead. You would have selflessly let her die."

"We would have found a way," Stefan countered.

Katherine snorted. "Only Damon did." She turned back to Elena. "He and John kept you alive and kept you human." She shook her head and turned to leave. "Hate them all you want, for as long as you're alive to hate them."

Elena had closed her eyes before Katherine had disappeared. She kept them closed for a few seconds before opening then and asking Stefan "Is she gone?"

Stefan only nodded, a concerned look on his face. She couldn't keep looking at him. She closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead with her fingers. Katherine was right. Those she had hated most had been there for her, some had died because of her.

"You're not listening to her, are you?" Stefan's voice interrupted her thoughts. She still couldn't look at him.

"Was she wrong, Stefan? I am alive because of Damon, because he wouldn't let me die."

"We would have found another way. We had the potion."

Elena did open her eyes and found herself staring at a desperate Stefan. "Elijah's potion, who, as you told me, betrayed us. Betrayed me." She closed her eyes and rubbed her head again. "I'm trusting the wrong people," she added softly. Damon had known Elijah couldn't be trusted.

"We're doing our best, Elena, and you're still alive. You know I'm protecting you, and I'm not alone."

She looked at him again, the glare, the anger gone. "You try. You tried to save Jenna, to take her place."

"I knew you would live, I didn't want you to live without her."

"So you chose her instead of you for me, Stefan? What makes you think you have the right to make that choice for me? What makes you think I want you to die for me or anyone else, to leave me alive without you?"

Stefan closed his eyes and tried to calm himself. "Elena, you're in mourning. You're upset. You need to rest."

She stared at him briefly before breaking eye contact. God she loved him, but she was such an idiot.

She folded her arms on the table, rested her head on them, face down, and closed her eyes. She had realized that she wasn't upset with him, she wasn't upset with Katherine or even Damon. She was upset with Elijah, who had let those around her die and broken his promise. She was upset with Klaus.

"We need to kill Klaus." She had whispered it into the table.

She didn't look at him, but heard the concern, the fear in his voice. "He thinks you're dead, Elena."

Elena laughed humorlessly as she lifted her head. "Elijah knows better. They both need to die."

Stefan shook his head, his fear obvious to her. "Don't."

She just stared at him. "Damon will help me." His expression changed. She remembered he was still keeping something from her.

She loved him, but she was such an idiot. "What aren't you telling me, Stefan?" she asked, trying to be firm, trying not to show how tired she was.

* * *

Damon was trying hard to remember. He had been with Rose a lot after she was bitten, had seen her as she was dying. But he hadn't been concentrating on that – he had been trying to find a cure, a way to keep her alive.

He was trying so hard that he didn't notice she had become dangerous. He had left Rose in Elena's care, and Rose had attacked her – something he knew Rose wouldn't have done when in her right mind.

His biggest fear was that he would be just as clueless about himself, that he would not see that signs in him that he had not seen in Rose. That he would come to his senses and Elena would be next to him – dead.

He couldn't remember anything – how long after the bite before Rose was essentially bedridden. When she had become dangerous to everyone. Was his bite taking effect so soon? Was it affecting his memory?

Elena could tell him. Elena would know all of this. Elena had been just as upset about Rose's change, Rose's death as he was.

But Elena couldn't know. She would be suspicious if he or even Stefan asked her. She had been so distraught watching Rose, it would devastate her to see him like that.

He briefly considered leaving, maybe even going after Klaus and Elijah, but he couldn't be absolutely sure that, even in his mindless state, he wouldn't go to her, find her, hurt her. Besides, she was right when she called him selfish. He didn't want to spend his last days anywhere but near her.

He thought he had a few days. He could go back to her, talk to her, see her, keep the bite hidden. Then he would have Stefan lock him up. Stefan would at least try to protect her from him. The thought of leaving Elena's protection in Stefan's hands scared him as much as anything. He would have to talk to Bonnie and Jeremy – they at least would protect her from herself.

He started back towards the boarding house, not sure how she would receive him. Of course he was never sure just what she would say or do, it was one thing that kept him going back to her.

He was sure what his last conscious thoughts would be after Stefan locked him up, after she was safe from him. His last conscious thoughts would be of Elena.


	21. A Delena Mother's Day

_This missing scene begins on…well, Mother's Day…May 8, 2011…_

It was Mother's Day, so Elena went to her mother's grave. Well, first to Isobel's marker, then to her mother's grave. Now she was where Jenna had been buried.

Of course, Jenna was closer to her sister than mother, more like cousin than aunt or guardian. But she had become Elena's mother in all of the ways that counted. Isobel hadn't been even that much, but as she watched the vampire die, she understood that Isobel did love her – whether it showed or not.

She felt the tears trickle down her cheeks – again. As she was wiping them away he spoke from behind her.

"You came alone?"

Hearing Damon's voice brought the mixture of emotions it always did. The anger over so much, the feeling of complete safety in his presence, the unexpressed gratitude for what he had done for her.

She didn't turn around. "I…I asked Stefan to let me come alone. I didn't want him to see me like this."

"To see you grieve." Damon had to shake his head as he said under his breath "He leaves you alone after all you've been through."

"I asked him to, and Klaus and Elijah are gone."

"There's always someone…" He was still speaking softly, she barely heard him but she did. Her suppressed anger and hurt flared.

"What do you care?" She still just looked at the newly turned earth at her feet. "You didn't even come to the…after…we buried them." She felt more tears starting to form.

Damon felt the sting, but he couldn't respond. It might give her a clue of the truth. He couldn't do that to her – somehow he thought news of his imminent death would be worse for her.

She waited a minute, her eyes closed, trying to stop the tears. When she glanced back at him, he was stone-faced, no emotion. She didn't know whether to be infuriated or hurt. She chose hurt and turned to the grave again.

It took a few seconds to calm herself before she spoke again. "Some say I should thank you…" She let her voice trail.

'Some' Damon thought. No one he knew would tell her that.

She didn't say anything for a minute, so he asked, "Have we ever thanked each other?"

That caused her to turn around again, to face him again. It was all he could do to keep his face blank.

She saw that his expression hadn't changed, shrugged, and turned her back to him again whispering "I don't know."

"Some things don't need to be spoken to be understood."

His voice was still emotionless. She couldn't stand this. She didn't really agree, something should be said, but didn't know what. She just nodded and let the tears form now.

Damon watched, having more and more trouble keeping his emotions under control. It couldn't last. It wouldn't last, and he couldn't give her any clue about the bite.

"Can I do anything?"

'Yes!' she screamed in her head. 'Show me that you care!'

It was all she could do to hold back, to not turn around and hug him. From the way he was acting, she thought it would be one of those times she hugged him while he just stood there. Like when she hugged him after he had killed Rose.

She shook her head and only managed a whisper. "No. I'll be fine."

She turned around to look at him and thought he didn't look quite right. "Are you OK?"

Damon tersely nodded, said "Be safe" and was gone.

She couldn't see him at all a few seconds later – he left at full vampire speed.

She didn't understand him. Save her life and leave her alone. She would never understand him. But as she tried to gather herself together to return home, to return to one of her homes, she realized even more what he had done for her, what she owed him. She realized that, if not for Damon, her own grave would be here somewhere, among those of her mothers.

_Happy Mother's Day to everyone who reads this stuff and to who the title now applies or will apply in the future._

_No such greeting to Kevin Williamson or Julie Plec who killed off everyone Elena had that was close to a mother. Couldn't they wait a week? Not that they should, no waiting or delay of any kind. But they still are EVIL (which is probably why I still play…)_


	22. Humiliation and Love

_This missing scene begins after Katherine leaves Damon and Elena near the end of "As I lay Dying"_

"I've never been so humiliated."

Elena was speaking softly, sitting next to a recovering Damon. He was still weak, barely moving, but he was watching her. She could barely look at him. She had managed to embarrass herself in front of Katherine.

The newly-freed vampire could have heard anything as Damon bared his soul to her, as she did the same to him. Katherine obviously heard something, based on the comments she made.

Elena stole a couple of glances at Damon. He was looking better, improving, though he still did not move. She was really thinking out loud when she said "Why does everything that happens between us become public domain? It might as well be posted on YouTube."

"Couldn't help bragging about it?" Damon asked weakly. She moved her eyes to him again and saw the smirk. She quickly looked away.

"This is serious, Damon. She might tell Stefan." She couldn't believe Stefan had not told her about the bite before Damon was near death. About the bite Damon had incurred while trying to save Tyler – while saving Tyler and Caroline, while trying to stop the ritual. She had been so upset with the younger bother that when Damon had mentioned him, she could barely speak. She just snuggled closer to the older brother.

She glanced at Damon again. He looked like he didn't care if Stefan was told. "He went ballistic when he found out you tried to kiss me." She shook her head and looked away again. "There's no telling what he'll do if he finds out I kissed you."

She looked at him again, his face was totally blank now. He spoke as she met his eyes. "Do you want to take it back, Elena? Was it all a lie to try to comfort the dying monster?"

She closed her eyes and shook her head. She hadn't said anything that wasn't true, hadn't done anything she didn't feel was right. "No, but that's not the point."

What had she done? Stefan knew his brother loved her, he had told her so. But he didn't suspect she had any feelings for Damon. She wasn't really that sure herself, it was not something she had spent any time thinking about. Stefan was the nice one, the stable one. Damon protected her, helped her when she asked, and sometimes pulled stunts that caused her to hate him.

She had always managed to repress anything approaching feelings for Damon, managed to conjure up anger or hurt. She had done it just that morning when he had entered her home uninvited, asking for forgiveness. It hadn't taken much for her to deny it, though she always knew that somewhere, deep within her, she felt more for him than the hate she so often expressed to him.

She knew he had helped her, saved her, and she had done the same for him. She could tell herself that she was helping him because of Stefan and maybe it was true at first. She could tell herself that after Damon began to help her, she was doing what she did for him to repay him.

She could tell herself a lot of things, she could rationalize - and she did.

Everyone was saying Damon loved her. Isobel had said it, Stefan had said it. She knew it was true. She had always been able to push such thoughts out of her mind by telling Stefan that she loved him. It had always worked, because it was true.

But what she had told Stefan on the day that she died, the day she walked and talked with him, was also true. She was too young to make certain choices, she had a lifetime to live, to experience. It was easy to do it with Stefan, he was always so considerate towards her, always so helpful, so nice. The one time that he wasn't, she had managed to fix him, though she had needed Damon's help.

Stefan was safe, easy to be with. She loved him, he loved her. She didn't have to even think about Damon, what he had done for her. Just conjure up the hate or annoyance when needed. So simple.

But as Damon lay dying next to her, as he spoke of the things he had done, she was forced to face what she felt. She had come mostly to tell him there was hope, as Stefan had asked her to. She ended up telling him more. This time as she spoke to him, she couldn't find the hate. She faced him, listened to him as he told her of his past mistakes and his current love for her. Her attempts at comfort turned into her saying and doing the things she actually felt, what she needed him to know before he died.

She wasn't confused as it happened, it was intimate, personal and real. Then Katherine had interrupted, had brought other things back into focus. She realized what was happening, that he was going to live. What had she done?

When she came to her senses enough to ask about Stefan, Katherine taunted her. She couldn't really read the vampire, identical though they were. Katherine had embarrassed her and, she thought, had displayed much more feeling for Damon while she gave him the first sip of the blood - of the cure - than her words indicated. It was as if Katherine was trying to erase the intimate moment she and Damon had just shared.

Even worse was the comment about loving them both. It infuriated her and embarrassed her. And it was in front of Damon, after she had finally opened up to him.

It was really, really hard to face him, to even look at him. When she did, he was still lying there, blank look on his face, though he did speak to her. "Ignore her."

She was startled and nervous. Was she that easy to read?

"I don't care where he is, Elena. I don't care what Klaus has done. I'll find him, we'll get him back."

She nodded. His words comforted her, though not entirely for the reason he thought. Or at least that's what she thought, until Damon spoke again.

"She never loved me, Elena. I loved her, she said what she had to get me to, but she never loved me. She used me."

Finally she let her eyes hold his for more than a few seconds. He appeared much better, his voice was strong now.

"She came back Damon. She saved you."

Damon closed his eyes, he appeared very tired. "She owed me."

'She's not the only one,' Elena thought, but kept that to herself. When she spoke aloud, she said "that doesn't mean she doesn't love you."

Damon didn't respond. She bit her lip and texted Stefan, telling him Damon was OK, asking him where he was.

She moved away from Damon, not wanting to disturb him. She found herself leaning against a wall, her eyes moving back and forth between the screen of her phone and the vampire lying on the bed. Not that she saw either unless she forced herself to focus. She was lost in thought, wondering how much Stefan would know before she talked to him, wondering what he would do when she told him what he didn't already know. Wondering what she would do, how she would figure all of this out.

She didn't have to wonder what Damon would do. She knew he would do what he always had done – help, protect and love her.

* * *

_Thanks for reading this far. I've have fun and hope you have as well. I don't imagine that this will continue – I haven't given up on the story line that came out of the first season finale (shameless plug for the "Vampires and Witches and Elena" group of stories) which for some reason or other, continues._

_But who knows, maybe there's more. Sometimes it comes whether I like it or not. If it does, I'll post. If not, maybe it'll pick up again as Season 3 starts…_

_As much as I complain about the show, I'll be there for Season 3. They're not playing this game without me. May the Delena scenes increase in number, duration and intensity…_


	23. Hope and Hiding

_This missing scene begins after the end of Season 3, Episode 1 - "The Birthday"..._

It took all of Damon's self control to walk away from Elena while he was so angry. Not that he would ever intentionally hurt her, but he didn't want her to see him this way - she had seen him at his worst far too often before.

She had found out that he had been tracking Stefan and Klaus, something he had hoped to keep from her until he had dealt with them himself. Now though, things had changed.

He found himself surprised by the anger he felt at Stefan over what his brother had done to Andie. He had felt no such emotion when he saw the other deaths Stefan had caused, the other things his brother had done. Somehow, Andie was different.

Damon knew that Stefan was targeting him. He had said so, and he had done it in the only way possible - the only way possible except for hurting Elena.

He wasn't sure Stefan would ever be so far gone as to hurt Elena physically, but it was something to consider, something to prevent.

The pain from what happened to Andie was bad enough, then Elena had been there when he returned home, confronting him, challenging him. He hadn't meant to tell her the truth the way it had happened - he hadn't meant to tell her this at all. She had lost so much, he didn't want her to lose hope as well.

Still, he should have realized he couldn't keep this from her. This or the feelings he still had for her, but hadn't expressed for some time.

He didn't want to think about the feelings just now, but now she knew about Stefan. Now he was sure his worst nightmare would come true. Now she would insist on finding Stefan. She was already in denial to some extent, not believing that "her" Stefan could do what he had done.

Maybe she would eventually realize what Stefan really was now, but it wouldn't matter. She would still insist on finding him and trying to fix him. And it would be up to Damon to help and protect her.

* * *

Elena knew that, under any other circumstance, a call with no voice from the other end would be creepy. Creepy or worse. She wasn't sure why she thought it was Stefan, maybe it was just hope. Damon had just told her that Stefan was alive, though he had said other things she wanted to deny. Still, if he was alive, if the call really was from him, there really was hope.

She held onto the phone long after the call ended. She held onto it as she lay in her bed reliving her birthday.

Elena's birthday had turned into a day of disaster. First, Jeremy was using again. She had no idea what to do about that, but she had hoped Alaric would.

Then Alaric had left. She wanted him to stay, she had tried to tell him as much without actually saying it, but it hadn't worked. He had done so much for her, had stayed with them for so long that she couldn't bring herself to ask for any more from him - no matter how much she wanted it.

Finally, worst of all, Damon had been hiding things from her - telling her that the leads they were following were dead ends when he had actually been tracking Stefan.

She felt betrayed by Damon. She knew he was helping her, she knew he would do anything she asked, so she tried to not ask for too much from him. Still, she had thought they were on the same side on this, on finding Stefan. Now she learns that he had kept her out of the loop.

She assumed he was just trying to protect her - he always had and always would. She may have denied it when Damon told her that it was Stefan causing the vampire-related deaths they were hearing about, but she knew what Stefan had been like when he drank human blood. Stefan had told her himself, she had seen it herself when she let him drink from her when he needed to. That time, she had been able to fix him, bring him back to normal. Well, she and Damon had been able to do it.

Her mind went back to the times Damon had helped her. She knew he loved her - not that he had mentioned that recently. Neither of them brought up the kiss she had given him when she thought he was dying. She simply told those few friends that knew about it that she it had been a "goodbye" kiss because she thought he was dying. It seem to satisfy her friends, but Elena knew better.

The feelings she felt as she listened to Damon's death-bed confession, as she accepted him and as she kissed him, were strong, strong enough that she hadn't forgotten them. She doubted she ever would forget them. She still felt them sometimes when she and Damon were together. She tried to hide them, maybe she did hide them, but she still felt them. And they were as strong as ever.

Elena knew that Damon loved her, he hadn't even tried to to hide it before the bite, before Stefan was gone. Yet he hadn't said anything like that since his recovery. Maybe it was because Andie was back in his life, maybe it was becuase she didn't mention it at all herself, or maybe it was because he was hiding more from her than just his tracking of Stefan. Maybe he was hidings the feelings for her he had so freely expressed before.

She wasn't sure why he would do that, especially after they had opened up to each other on what they had thought was his deathbed. Of course, she wasn't sure why she was avoiding the subject either. She just couldn't bring herself to face the feelings just yet. And for whatever reason, he was giving her space, so she was taking it.

Really, it was confusing to Elena. Finally, the long awaited hope for Stefan, yet the feelings for Damon wouldn't go away.

She would look for Stefan, Damon would help her. That much she was sure of, even though she also knew that for her, and she suspected, for Damon, the feelings between them were still there. They were still there and she knew she wouldn't be able to deny them forever.

* * *

_Sadly, it appears Elena is still lying to herself. It appears this little game must continue. I'm not sure if I should be happy about that, or if I should just cry about it. I guess it doesn't matter - we can't expect the show to get everything right. There are missing scenes to be written, and, for as long as necessary, I will write them..._


	24. Feelings and Guilt

_This missing scene begins the morning after Damon leaves Elena's home near the end of season 3, episode 2 – "The Hybrid"…_

Elena was on her way to the Boarding House to see Damon. Her mind was racing.

She wasn't sure how much, if any, sleep she had gotten the night before. She would have been fine if Damon hadn't come by after they arrived home, hadn't forced her to say what she said. But he had come, she had said it, and she had spent the night worrying about it.

She had been fine the previous day as she talked to Damon, Tyler and Alaric. She had perfect control of herself. When she thought it would be just her and Alaric hiking to the werewolves, Damon was the furthest thing from her mind. She was able to concentrate on finding Stefan.

When Damon did show up and sent Elena flying into the water, the old anger was there making things simple. But as he drew close her while she stood in the water, as he mentioned her being safe because Klaus thought she was dead, she felt the feelings again. She wasn't sure she was able to hide them from Damon, let alone Alaric; in fact she was almost sure they showed as she made her final plea of "Please" to Damon. Maybe that was why he finally relented.

She even thought she had the feelings under control during the hike – until Damon's back was to her as they realized the man in front of them was turning into a werewolf long before they expected it. She knew that the feelings showed when she realized the danger she had put Damon in and found herself pushing him from behind to get him to pay attention to her as she told him they needed to leave. His back was to her, and she thought her fear might hide the feelings anyway, so she thought he wouldn't notice. She knew, based on what he said to her later, that she had been wrong about that.

She almost slipped when he came back to the car after separating from her and Alaric. She might have just hugged him there, but he didn't even give her the chance, he just ordered her back into the car. She told him he was acting like a caveman and he was – though he was always that way when her safety was at issue. She may have pretended it bothered her, but she had come to appreciate it, to trust him on this. When he told her stay still, to not move when she had stumbled while running in the woods, it didn't even occur to her to argue with him. Her safety really was his first concern.

Through all of it, she thought she was fine. Even if the feelings had surfaced enough to be recognized by Damon or Alaric, they wouldn't have shown for long.

Then Damon had come to her bedroom.

She was able to keep her shields up at first – especially when he mentioned Stefan. She had no problem talking with him about Stefan, hearing that Damon would help her find and fix him - it was what she really wanted. One thing she really wanted, anyway.

But when he had challenged her reason for leaving the woods, when he had forced her to say she was worried about him, she lost control. She could tell that the feelings had surfaced and weren't going to be forced back inside. Really, she decided, it was lucky that he left when he did – there's no telling what else she might have said.

Then Alaric's appearance at that point, his question of if she knew what she was doing, erased any hope that she might have kept the feelings in check. If Alaric had missed it earlier, he knew now - there was something going on between Elena and Damon.

She wasn't sure if Alaric knew what it was. Really, she didn't know herself, but something had to be said to Damon. She just couldn't leave it like it had been left the night before.

She never knocked as she entered Damon's home anymore, she didn't knock today. She automatically headed for the stairs before stopping herself when she realized what she was doing. She had given off enough unintended messages yesterday, she wanted to avoid another.

She sat at the couch and spoke loudly as she said "Damon, will you come down?"

He didn't respond immediately. In the past, she would have thought he was playing with her, but as far as she could tell he would never do that to her now.

She added "Damon, please" before seeing him appear on the stairs.

She stayed put and waited for him to stand near her. She immediately wondered if this was such a good idea, the feelings were there again. She pushed that thought aside, she was doing this to get past the hidden feelings, to move on.

"Something new come up already, Elena?"

She shook her head. "No. I just thought we should talk about …" She couldn't quite finish. It was harder than she expected. She hadn't been able to say anything at all the night before, but thought she would be able to this morning. She had to say something – it just wasn't coming out yet.

"About last night?" Damon asked. His face did not look tentative or unsure as she looked up to him and nodded her head. Of course, he never looked unsure to her. He knew what he wanted. She knew what he wanted.

"Did you have something to say? A question?" Damon asked.

She had to close her eyes to do it, but she finally managed to say "Nothing's changed, Damon."

When she said no more, he asked "Nothing's changed since when?"

"Since Stefan left," Elena said, forcing herself to meet his eyes again.

Damon smirked, just a little. "So you were 'worrying' about me then?"

She nodded and held his eyes. "I don't know what it means."

"Does it mean you haven't always thought of me as the monster you pretend I am?"

Elena sighed and shook her head. "I haven't pretended that for some time."

"Then give me some help here, Elena."

She closed her eyes again and took a deep breath. Before she spoke, Damon spoke again.

"You feel guilty!" He wasn't speaking like he meant it to harsh or mean, she could tell that when she looked at him again. He was surprised.

"Guilty about Stefan?" he asked.

"Yes, about Stefan!" It came out much harsher than she intended. She took another breath and controlled herself again. "I don't really know everything, but I know you were trying to help Tyler escape Klaus when he bit you, you wanted to keep Klaus from using him in the sacrifice . You were doing it for me. Then Stefan had to give himself to Klaus to save you. Everything he is now, everything he's doing. comes back to me."

Damon sat next to her and put his arm around her, lowering his head to her ear. "You keep saying that. You keep ignoring Klaus."

She let herself lean into him, just a little. "Klaus is here because of who I am."

"So am I," Damon said softly. "I am here because of who you are, so is Rick. Stefan started all of this because of who you are."

"He's doing so much, hurting so many."

"We'll find him," Damon assured her. "We'll stop him."

"And we'll fix him," Elena said, pulling away from Damon enough to look into his eyes again.

Damon nodded.

"Nothing's changed, Damon," Elena said again. "You've accused me of lying to myself, maybe I have been lately – maybe a little. But I don't know what the feelings mean, I don't know what I want."

"One thing has changed, Elena," Damon said, "You've stopped hiding your feelings for me – or maybe you're just getting really sucky at hiding them"

Elena no idea how to respond, but she let out a bit of a gasp.

"And I know what you want," Damon said. She expected a smirk to come with that statement, but there was none there.

"What?" She asked.

"You want what you've wanted all summer. You want time to sort out your feelings, and you want help finding and fixing Stefan."

She let a sigh of relief out and nodded again. This hadn't turned out so bad.

"I'll give you both, "Damon said. "And you know what I want, Elena."

She raised an eyebrow, unsure of what he meant.

"I want you to remember what you're feeling."

She nodded as she rose to leave – there were things to be done and the day had just started. "I will Damon. I'll remember."

She turned back to him just before she went through to door and added, "You're not making things any simpler for me, though you never have."

_Really, is that what girls wear on hikes through the woods nowadays? Short shorts and tank tops? It seems Elena really isn't afraid of __anything__ – not vampires or werewolves, not scrapes, cuts, ticks or poison ivy…_

_Although, it was rather eye-candyish…I approve…_


	25. The Witch and the Fear

_This missing scene begins after Damon and Elena climb into the car to return to Mystic Falls near the end of Season 3, Episode 3 – "The End of the Affair"…_

Elena barely noticed Damon as he drove her back to Mystic Falls. She wasn't paying attention at all – not to him, not to the time, not to their location. She just stared ahead, not seeing anything, thinking.

When Damon woke her up at 6am, lying on her bed next to her, she wasn't able to muster much anger, fear or even indignation. She ordered him to go away more out of habit than anything, then, when he didn't respond, all she had done was complain about the time. Things really were changing between her and Damon.

Damon had kept his promise to her – he had found Stefan and taken her to him. Of course, he seemed to keep all of his promises to her – whether she wanted him to or not. He even tried to prepare her for what she would find in Chicago. She thought she already knew, but she wasn't prepared for a list of names of Stefan's victims from all those years ago. Seeing the list somehow made her realize that Stefan was hurting real people. She had tried to shake it off by asking Damon where he was during that time, but it hadn't worked, not on her, not on him.

The list was bad enough, then Klaus and Stefan came. She felt a mixture of emotions as Stefan saw her, looked at her, then lured Klaus away. Any emotion she felt while he was there was gone immediately after he left. She began to shake as she realized how close Klaus had come to finding her. Even Damon noticed when he returned. When he her told his plan to distract Klaus while she spoke to Stefan, he could tell she was still shaken. He was completely serious when he asked her if she could 'handle it'. Despite his constant concern for her safety, despite the fact that she had to usually force him to help her, he had never voiced concern that she could not deal with whatever came. Not until now.

Of course, part of her problem was her concern that it was Damon who would be distracting Klaus. It made her realize, again, that he would anything for her – even face someone as dangerous to them both as Klaus.

She finally moved her eyes from the road and turned to look at him. She hadn't said a word since she told him to just drive when asked if she was OK. He was giving her what he thought she wanted – in this case, space. As well as the time and the quiet she needed to think.

"I'm fine," Elena said, still looking at him.

He briefly looked like he did not understand her. It was only then that she wondered how long they had been driving. "You asked how I am. I'm fine."

The Vampire nodded and turned his attention back to the road.

"And you?" Elena continued. "What happened with Klaus?" Saying the name of the Original out loud brought the fear back, but she just had to know what had happened.

"What I expected," Damon said, still looking ahead. "He taunted me, he tortured me, and he made an attempt on my life."

Elena cringed. She turned away from him and let out a breath. "He tried to kill you?"

"He would have succeeded, too, if not for the witch."

She looked back at him almost hopefully. "Witch? There was a friendly witch there?"

"No," Damon said sharply, shaking his head as he glanced to Elena before turning his attention back to the road. "Not friendly, and you should stay away from her."

"But you said…" Elena began, before his expression registered in her mind and she cut herself off. She closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead with her palm. Klaus had nearly killed Damon. There was literally nothing Damon wouldn't do for her. She would have to be more careful about what she let him do for her in the future.

"Talking to Stefan was a disaster," she said, looking straight ahead. She assumed Damon hadn't asked because he was giving her space, because he knew she was upset, but he needed to know. She wanted to talk to him about it.

"What did he say?"

"I asked him to come home with us. He said he…he said a lot of things. He said he didn't want to be with me. He said he …" She exhaled and decided she didn't want to repeat any of it.

Damon waited for her to finish, wondering if he should tell her what Stefan told him, when she added "What he didn't say was that he doesn't love me."

Damon looked at her, but quickly turned away when his eyes met hers.

"He didn't mention love at all," Elena added softly.

"Even when you told him of your undying love for him?" Damon asked.

Elena found herself cringing a little again. Damon's tone hadn't been harsh or sarcastic, but she couldn't help thinking that bringing up love had hurt him a little. Hurting Damon was something she did not want to do now.

"I didn't exactly say that," she said weakly.

"Exactly?"

Elena sighed and kept her eyes fixed on the road ahead. "At all. I didn't say it at all."

Damon didn't speak again, so she added "He said things would be different if he came back. I told him that I knew they would, but it didn't matter. He said a lot of things trying to be mean to me, but he didn't say he doesn't love me."

"And you didn't say that you love him."

"We've covered that," Elena said curtly.

Damon looked at her with a smirk. "We haven't covered what it means."

Elena closed her eyes and sighed again. She didn't know what it meant herself. "He's like you were, Damon, at least the way I thought you were. You would hurt so many people, but when you were near me, you had perfect control. He was like that, he protected me when Klaus was in his apartment, he had perfect control of himself while we talked. He's sill trying to protect me."

Damon waited for more, but it did not come. Finally he said, "Are you going to let him? Are you going to listen to him and stay away from him?"

"Are you?" she retorted. She immediately felt bad about it, she was the one forcing Damon to take her to Stefan.

"He's done so much." Elena finally said. "I never realized…I thought I understood, but the names…." When Damon didn't respond, she added, "I thought I knew what he was like at his worst. But the names…"

Damon waited for more, then said, "Well I learned something. I learned you really are afraid of Klaus. I was beginning to wonder about that."

"He killed me, Damon. He'd do it again in a second. Yes, I'm afraid of him." She turned to face him again. "Don't ever let me put you in that position again. I should have known better than to let you distract him. If something had happened to you…" She cut herself off. She had said enough about worrying about him already.

"He'll kill me and he'll kill you," she added. "But thank you. You've done everything I asked."

"Does this mean we're done?" He knew it wasn't true. If Stefan was right, the witch would figure out that Elena was alive and Klaus would be paying Mystic Falls another visit. He knew he had to tell her that eventually, but he would at least get her home to rest for awhile.

"I don't know," the doppelganger responded. "I feel like we have to at least stop Stefan, Stefan and Klaus, but I just don't know what I…" She cut herself off again.

Elena turned to rest her head against the door window and sighed, finallylooking through the windows to the dark landscape they were passing. "How much longer?"

Damon smirked again, but when he glanced at her, he knew she wouldn't see it. She was looking outside. "You really don't know, do you?"

"No," the human replied, shaking her head slightly, but keeping her eyes fixed outside.

"You don't know where we are or what time it is." Damon was a little surprised that she had been so lost in thought. He was even more surprised by her reply.

"I know I'm with you. Right now, that's all I need to know," though a few seconds later she added "except for how much longer 'till we get home."


	26. The Katherine Connection

_These missing scenes begin after Katherine leaves Bonnie at the Grill and as Katherine convinces Damon to go with her near the end of Season 3, Episode 4, "Disturbing Behavior"…_

Elena

Elena felt a little humiliated as she walked. Caroline's words had stung.

She was still trying to deny what the blonde vampire had told her – that she wanted Damon as he was now, no changes needed.

She didn't want it to be true, she had tried to make that clear to Caroline. She had used all the right words, words like "if he wants to be with me". Of course, those words meant she wanted to be with him, but at least she had said "if".

It had been so long since she had seen Damon do this kind of thing. He "killed" Alaric right in front of her, she had seen the blood of Caroline's father on his face. She had confronted him about both, but it had no effect on him, he just told her what he wasn't.

Damon would do anything for her, anything but change. Not that she had asked him to change recently - it had been so long since she had seen him do anything like what she had just seen him do twice. In fact, she thought he had changed, until she saw Alaric crumpling, falling at his feet.

She had been appropriately indignant at his actions – asked what was wrong with him, told him he couldn't be what people thought he was. It had no effect on him. Really, she was realizing, it actually had no effect on her. She still had the feelings for him.

The feelings were probably the reason she was so upset with his behavior. Could she really have feelings for him when he did this kind of thing? Obviously, she could; and she was feeling some turmoil because of it.

She was denying the feelings, too, but Caroline had seen through the denial. Caroline, who, Elena thought had her own problems, so wouldn't be paying any attention to Elena. But Caroline had seen Elena's feelings, and Caroline had insisted on pointing them out, despite Elena's denial.

It made Elena wonder who else knew. It made her wonder who she really was. She had asked Caroline what her feelings meant, but the vampire just said something about Elena being human. No help at all, but of course, Caroline was running to her own problem when she had said it.

The blonde vampire had been in a hurry, and had been right. Elena's feelings for Damon were there no matter what he did. She told herself that the current Damon was nowhere near as bad as he had been when he first arrived in Mystic Falls, and she told herself that there was no permanent damage to Alaric or Caroline's dad. She couldn't remember the last time he had actually killed someone – unlike Stefan who was leaving bodies, and names, all over.

Elena had to stop, close her eyes and take a breath. Caroline was right. The feelings were there, no matter what Damon was doing, and she wasn't able to hide them, But, she thought, Damon really was changing. He had been "better", overall, lately. It was what she wanted, so maybe she was getting that from him after all.

"Elena!" Bonnie's voice, coming from a nearby table, broke her train of thought. "Where did you go?"

The Petrova doppelganger was confused as she walked to the table. "Go? I just got here."

Bonnie stared at her for a few seconds before her eyes moved down, looking at Elena's clothing.

The witch closed her eyes and let out a nervous breath. As she opened them to see her friend sitting across from her she said, "I suppose it wasn't you I gave your necklace to."

When Elena looked confused, Bonnie nodded and said "Katherine."

* * *

Damon

Damon stared at the necklace Katherine had brought – Elena's necklace.

He had been upset with Elena when he walked out on her earlier, and he still felt it as he answered the door. Actually, he thought he was upset enough that he could tell her what he really felt. He kind of did tell her, though it had gotten twisted into something about only accepting a written apology.

As far as he could see, Elena wasn't thinking straight – telling him he couldn't be himself. Wanting him to change.

She never made such demands of Stefan. When his brother hurt people, Elena never blamed him – as if Stefan had no control over himself. Instead she would "fix" him, she would ask Damon to help her, and he did. No such attitude towards Damon.

Maybe it was flattering, maybe it meant she like him more than Stefan – it certainly meant she expected more of him than Stefan.

And, if that was what she really wanted – him not to kill or hurt people – she had more with him than she had with Stefan. At his worst, Damon was never even close to what Stefan was now, what Stefan was as a "ripper". Ripper, martyr, whatever – it was not something Damon would ever do. He would face Elena as he was, she would take him as he was, or not – but he knew what she felt. If she was still trying to hide the feelings, she was doing a terrible job of it.

All of this was easy to think as he answered the door, not so easy as she stood in front of him. He was able to keep a straight face as he said the thing about an apology, but just seeing her there, no anger on her face, he knew he couldn't keep the straight face for long.

Then the smile formed on her face, the mocking began, and he realized it was Katherine.

Of course, the mocking was much milder than he would have expected. Speaking of change, the vampire in front of him had changed as much as anyone. He was sure that she was still manipulative, still selfish, and still after his brother.

She had also survived the vengeance of Klaus for 500 years, she could help protect Elena, and at least both of them were against Klaus, both of them were for Stefan.

Plus, when she wasn't smirking, or taunting, it was almost like being with Elena. Or he could at least pretend it was like being with Elena. So, Elena could have some space to realize that she loved him – no changes required, and he could pretend. It wasn't hard for him to agree to go wherever with Katherine.

Also, there was the necklace. It meant nothing to him, but it meant something to Elena – which was the reason he had made it a birthday present.

Now the necklace meant something to Katherine, who had cheated death for 500 years and who was as much against Klaus as he was. He knew it wouldn't be the same as being with Elena, but he was sure it would help her. And maybe, at least if Katherine didn't smirk or speak at times, it would be like being with Elena. Maybe.

Anyway, he thought it was as close to Elena as he could get just then.

"We should get going," he told the first Petrova doppelganger. He tried to keep his face serious as he watched the smirk form on hers.


	27. The Protector and the Hunter

_This missing scene begins after Stefan leaves Damon and Elena, near the end of Season 3, Episode 5, "The Reckoning"…_

Damon looked at Elena when Stefan left. She was looking at him as well, with an expression he couldn't read. He suspected the same sort of expression was on his own face.

She had finally given up on Stefan, she had said she knew he was gone. She had even ignored the necklace when Damon offered it to her, the necklace that was tied to Stefan.

She had also rejected his offer to help her forget some things, saying she had to remember. She would remember what Stefan had done to her.

Still, she would also remember that Damon was not with her when she needed him most. She had asked him where he was while she was being assaulted by Stefan and Klaus. It was like a stake in his heart. She had trusted him and he had betrayed her. He had never seen her so broken, so vulnerable, and he never wanted to see her that way again. He never wanted to hear those words from her again.

He meant it when he told her he would never leave her again, and her reaction, her smile, her acceptance, meant everything to him. It made him believe that she really had forgiven him for all of the things he had done to her or around her in the past. He could see the trust in her eyes, and he never wanted to lose it.

Of course, Stefan had picked then to show up, to claim that he was her protector, to remind them that Klaus would come back for her.

Damon had risen to face his brother. Now that Stefan was gone he turned back to Elena. saw her expression, wondered about it. She must have seen something as she briefly turned away from him, turned to look at where Stefan had been. When her face returned to his, her expression almost looked hard.

"I know he's really gone this time, Damon."

As she looked at Damon, she wondered if his expression was unsure, so she added "He did things right in front of me." Elena let out a breath and closed her eyes. "I knew he was doing things, I saw the names." She tried to look at him to say the rest, "But he killed…right… in front of me."

Damon quickly moved to sit next to her and pulled her into a hug. She leaned her head against his shoulder, kept her eyes closed and took a few breaths before she continued.

Her eyes were still closed, as she spoke into his shoulder. "He killed them when he was still fighting the compulsion, when he still wanted to protect me."

Elena pulled back and looked into Damon's eyes. "I can't let myself forget, Damon. What he did to me, what he did right in front of me. I won't forget."

She let him pull her back into a hug, "You wouldn't do that to me, would you Damon?"

Damon held her as tightly as he dared and said "I would be fighting Klaus, not his compulsion."

Elena believed him. Damon had never been afraid to face Klaus, or any other Original, for her. It did make her wonder, though, so she asked "How did you get to me? How did you get through Klaus?"

"I told him a vampire hunter knows he's here."

Elena pulled back again, looking confused. "He's afraid of a vampire hunter?"

Damon nodded, and couldn't stop a slight smirk from appearing on his face. "He's afraid of this one."

"Well, whe…" Elena began before Damon put a single finger to her lips and shook his head.

She took the hint and cut herself off. If Damon didn't want her to say anymore in case Stefan was listening, she would trust him.

Still, she couldn't help asking one more question. She asked it in a soft whisper, "If he's a vampire hunter, won't he hunt you, too?"

He moved to sit beside her and put his arm around her as she leaned into his shoulder.

"Probably," Damon agreed, "but he won't come after you."

Elena closed her eyes and wondered, again, why so many would risk so much for her. She hadn't been the only one to face Klaus today. Bonnie had stood in front of the Original and told him that she was the reason Elena hadn't died. Though she had no idea what had really happened, she knew Damon had taken on Klaus, again, to get to her, to rescue her.

She let herself relax, finally feeling safe as she leaned into Damon, his arm around her. "He just might come after me," she said, closing her eyes, "because if he tries to get to you, I'm getting in his way."


	28. What they Know

_This missing scene occurs between two scenes of Season 3, Episode 6 – "Smells Like Teen Spirit"; between the end of the scene in which Elena leaves Stefan and Alaric and the beginning of the final scene in which Damon is rolling a rug…_

Elena hadn't been ready for Alaric to show up, to take her away from Damon. She had probed the vampire a little, mentioning that he seemed to have Rebecca 'drooling' over him. She needed for him tell her about his feelings for her again, though she wasn't sure why. Probably because of the way Stefan was treating her.

As soon as she managed to get a couple of stakes into Stefan, as soon as she left the vampire and Alaric, she ran up to her room and called Damon.

He answered his phone by saying, "Are you checking up on me now?"

She didn't even hear what he said. She just got to the point of her call, "Stefan was here when we arrived home."

She could hear Damon's concern as he asked "Do I need to go there?"

"No. It's fine. But I need to thank you."

"For?"

Elena had to take a breath before she could say it. "He called me pathetic – because I still want to help him get his humanity back."

Damon didn't respond. She heard nothing from the other side of the call, making her wonder if Damon agreed with Stefan.

"It made me mad," she continued quickly, "Rick had me hooked up with some kind of weapon, so I punched Stefan and got a couple of stakes into him."

Damon did react to this. She could hear his smile as he asked "Really?"

"Yeah. I told him I was strong while I did it, and I felt strong."

Damon snickered a little as he asked "Where did you get him?"

"That's what I need to thank you for," Elena said. "If you hadn't…shown me…where to hit him, I might have gone for the sternum. It might have been pathetic. But I knew where to put the stakes, and he felt them, so, thank you."

It was hard for her to even think about the moment when Damon had interrupted her workout. Really, it was a little embarrassing – she knew the truth of what he was saying when he told her that Stefan was gone. But she had convinced Damon to help her with her plan to lock Sefan away, again, the way she had always convinced him to help her, by asking him to do it for her. Then he had used his body to show her where the sternum was, which she should avoid, and her body to her show the vulnerable point.

It was hard to think about the moment, knowing how exposed her feelings had been then. It was hard to think about and to talk about. But she had to bring it up – she owed him her gratitude.

"You're welcome," Damon was saying. "Anytime you need a refresher…"

"I know," she quickly said to cut him off, afraid he would tease her more. Even though she had been reassured tonight, she didn't want to hear his teasing.

"Do you think I'm pathetic," she asked, trying to change the subject.

"No. You're stubborn, headstrong, persistent, maybe what you want is a little unrealistic sometimes. But you're as far from pathetic as it's possible to be."

Elena whispered a "thank you," in response, then wondered if she had put him too much at risk, again, having part of the plan being for him to try to keep an Original occupied. "Why did Rebekah sta….uh, hurt you?"

"Maybe she knew I only have eyes for you," the vampire replied. "Or maybe, like you, she's just stuck on Stefan. Either way, she saw through me."

This flustered Elena a little. "I don't 'have eyes' for Stefan, not anymore. You know that."

When he didn't immediately respond, she added "I just want to help him. You do, too. You always help me."

"I always will. You know that."

"I do, Damon, and I appreciate it."

She was quite for a few seconds, so he asked "Do you need me go there, calm you down, give you more lessons on vampire anatomy?"

Elena tried to suppress her laugh, or at least keep it quiet. "Not tonight. But I assume you'll check up on me tomorrow." She added a sigh to that last statement, trying to sound a little annoyed, but knowing it wasn't working.

"You can count on it. Good night, Elena."

"Good night, Damon." She was glad that she called, it was exactly what she needed after Stefan's harshness, after staking him.

Damon put his phone away and turned to the task at hand – cleaning up after his brother.


	29. Helping and Using

_This missing scene begins after the end of Season 3, Episode 7 "Ghost World"…_

"It was for the best, Jeremy." Elena told her brother.

She had made it home before he did, was waiting to talk to him when he arrived, but he really didn't want to talk to her. Still, she felt the need to justify herself.

Alaric was no where to be seen when she arrived home, neither was Damon. She knew Alaric was involved in the town celebration a little, though she hadn't seen him since she had agreed to follow Lexi. She wondered what both Alaric and Damon had done during the day, and was about to call one of them when Jeremy entered.

At first, Jeremy seemed to be ignoring her as he walked past his sister, but after a few steps, he turned to face her. "Bonnie won't talk to me."

"What did you expect?" Elena asked.

"You said you wouldn't tell her," Jeremy said.

"I didn't," Elena said, then hesitated before adding, "I did tell Caroline, but she needed to know. Caroline figured out where the locket was, then Bonnie was able to fix it all."

Elena looked at her brother. He was a little angry at first, but his expression was changing to look more like desperation.

"All I know is I don't have either Anna or Bonnie anymore." Jeremy said. "That's not 'for the best', not from where I stand."

Elena couldn't bear to look at the sadness in his expression, so she lowered her eyes. "You shouldn't have…"

"You should care," Jeremy interrupted, bring her eyes back to his. "I had Anna back. She was lost, and I had her back."

"It wasn't real, Jer."

"It was," Jeremy argued before closing his eyes and shaking his head. He exhaled and said, "By far the worst part is that I don't know if she really wanted me, or just used me to try to get her mother back." He exhaled and turned around as he added, "Just like when she came to Mystic Falls the first time."

"It doesn't matter Jer, either way, it wasn't real."

He had been walking away from her, but turned back. "If it wasn't real, why did you tell them that I kissed her?"

"You…you shouldn't have done that to Bonnie," Elena stumbled over the words, but she believed that it was true.

"How can you say that?" He challenged. "It's no different from what you do."

His eyes were skewering her as she denied, "That's not true." Suddenly, she was ready for this to be over, so she pulled out her phone and punched the speed dial for Damon.

She was looking at the phone but raised her eyes back to his as he said. "Really? Then tell me that you haven't kissed both Stefan and Damon."

Elena wasn't sure of her expression, even when she consciously tried to neutralize it. She felt the sting of Jeremy's words, and was trying to come up with a response as he shook his head and walked away saying, "I'm still not as naïve as you think."

She watched him leave, not wanting to admit it, but knowing he was right. She had said it to Stefan herself – she wasn't going to love a ghost for the rest of her life. She knew it was an admission that she still loved Stefan.

"Elena! Are you alright?" Damon's concerned voice startled her out of her thoughts.

She realized he had said her name several times and quickly said "Uh, yeah. I'm fine." She tried to quickly gather her thoughts as she turned her attention to the vampire she had called. "Are you?"

"Yes," he said, sounding a little distracted. "Since Mason's gone, I assume Blondie and the witch fixed 'the order of things'."

"Mason?" Elena asked, confused. "Mason Lockwood?'

"Yes, Mason Lockwood."

"He came to you? What did he want?"

"Revenge and redemption." He paused as he wondered if Elena might have had a vengeful vampire after her. "Did you see anyone…anyone dead?"

"Lexi."

Elena seemed to hear a cringe from him as he asked "What did she want?"

"She wanted to help get Stefan back."

"Of course she did. Any luck with that?"

"I don't know." Elena said. It was uncomfortable for her to relive the experience, especially after her conversation with Jeremy. "She did tie him down, at least; maybe he'll stay there until we can get him to change."

"Figures," Damon said. "You get Goodie-Two-Shoes and I get a vengeful werewolf."

"Vengeful?" Elena asked. "You said something about redemption."

"I did. First he tied me down, poked me a little, let me burn in the sun…"

"Damon!" she said quickly to interrupt him. She couldn't stand to hear this. "But… you're OK?"

"Yes, though he also lured me underground through the old Lockwood cellar where I was skewered from several different directions at once."

Elena found herself biting her lip as she waited for more. It hurt to hear what he was going through, again, while she was trying to fix his brother, again.

It seemed he was done, so she softly said, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It was worth it. He apparently found something that can kill Klaus."

Elena found herself gasping as she repeated, "Kill Klaus?"

"Yes," Damon replied. "A Lockwood legend about something that can kill an Original."

"And you found it?"

"Not me. I'm blocked somehow – I can't get to it. Mason found it, but he disappeared before he could tell me. However, Rick came and is in there now making sounds I've never heard before – like a teacher in heat or something. I'm guessing he found it."

"Kill Klaus," Elena found herself whispering.

"Yeah. One way or another we're going to get the…"

Elena really didn't hear him after that. Her mind was suddenly racing. Her argument with Jeremy was replaying in her mind. She thought that if Jeremy had seen how torn she was between Stefan and Damon, Damon must see it just as clearly. Yet Damon still did everything he could to help her. Damon still let himself be skewered to try to get to something that would protect her.

She wondered how much longer she give so much of herself for Stefan, take the abuse he was dishing out towards her, while, at the same time, Damon was doing everything he could to help her. Was she, like Jeremy thought Anna might be, just using Damon to get what she wanted?

She only wondered it briefly, before she remembered the feelings. She hadn't been anywhere near Damon during the day, hadn't felt the feelings at all. But now that she was thinking about him, worrying about him, they were back.

For once, the feelings seemed to be calming her. She felt her mind clear as she heard Damon's voice on the phone again, "Elena, are you still there?"

"Yeah," she said, turning her full attention back to him. He deserved at least that much from her - that much and more...


	30. The Trust

_This missing scene begins when Katherine and Damon end their call near the end of Season 3, Episode 9 – "Homecoming"…_

"Katherine is gone," Damon said as he turned back to Elena. "She's gone back to running from Klaus."

Elena only nodded.

"She did her part, Elena," Damon added. "She came through for us."

"I know," she said softly, sitting on the couch. "I really am sorry she still has to keep running, but we didn't get rid of Klaus."

Damon remained standing. She could tell he was still tense, was still unhappy about the failure of his plan.

"I've let you down," the vampire told Elena. "I'm sorry."

"No," she quickly countered. "It wasn't your fault."

"That doesn't matter, Elena." Damon grimaced as he recalled the incident. "I had the stake in Klaus, he was dying." He closed his eyes and turned back to the fire. "But Klaus is still alive, and you're still the key to his hybrid hi-jinks."

Elena nodded as she recalled what she had been told. Michael was outside with Katherine, having stabbed her, intending to kill Elena. "Michael would have killed me."

"We were right not to trust him. Katherine did her job." Damon repeated.

"Yeah, and it's not the first time she's done that for me. I owe her just as much as I owe…" She didn't finish the sentence, but looked back into his eyes.

Damon smirked a little. "You were insulted when I said you were like Katherine a little earlier today," he told Elena.

"Yeah," Elena said, though she was obviously distracted. "but don't think that's changed just because I owe her."

Elena suddenly switched topics. "You staked Klaus, Damon. You."

Damon just stared at the fire.

Elena stood and moved to stand next to him. "That was your 'secret contingency plan'? You were to stake Klaus?"

Damon shrugged. "It didn't work."

"But what if it had Damon? What if you had staked Klaus? If a vampire uses a dagger on an Original, it kills the vampire. Could you have used the stake on Klaus and lived?"

Damon kept his eyes on the fire as he shrugged again.

Elena pulled him to face her, knowing he could have stayed in place if he wanted, but he let her turn him.

"Damon, would it have killed you if Klaus had died?"

"I don't know," he said. "I don't know if the same rules apply to the stake as to the dagger."

"How did you get it? Michael was going to use it on Klaus."

"I was the one who could get into the house." Damon said.

"So did Michael just give it to you?" Elena asked.

Damon turned back to the fire without responding.

"Either way, Michael couldn't be trusted. It might be like the daggers, it might have killed you."

When Damon didn't respond, she said "Damon, please. You can't take chances like that. The plan was for Michael to…"

"It wasn't about Michael," Damon interrupted, turning on her so suddenly it made her gasp and take a step back. "It wasn't about me. It was about Klaus; and you."

Damon turned back to the fire. "Everyone's still alive – except Michael. At least we're down one untrustworthy vampire-vampire hunter."

"Who would have let me die," Elena said softly, taking a deep breath.

"I didn't feel anything like it was going to kill me, but it's gone now. We're down to a dagger that only you can use, and it's busy anyway."

"Please, Damon," Elena said, going to him and touching his arm. She continued to speak, even though he just continued to look into the fire. "Please, no more chances like that. I've lost too much already. I couldn't bear to lose…"

She paused, then turned away without finishing her statement and went to sit on the couch.

"It was worth a shot," Damon said, still facing the fire. "Maybe Katherine will draw Klaus away for awhile, give us a little time to figure this out."

"Maybe," Elena sighed. "So we're back to square one. Klaus to kill and nothing to do it with." She leaned back and closed her eyes.

"A royally pissed Klaus to kill." Damon said as he turned and, seeing that Elena was sitting now, moved to sit next to her. "But we still have a teacher enthralled with his new picture friends, and we still have a ticked off witch looking for someone to hurt."

"These are the people I trust," Elena said softly, chuckling to herself.

"Them and a heartless vampire. You said earlier that you trust me."

"I do," Elena said as she let herself lean into him. "You've never let me down. I do trust you, I trust you more than anyone right now."

_Well, I finally get to where I'm OK with the Delena in the show (I didn't even feel the need to add to last week's episode) and now we have a break. Bleah. And I'm fairly sure the Delena in the show won't last…_

_Still, we have a break, and I have a few verbal (so to speak) commitments that make me think I can finally continue – and finish – Elena and the Pledge (aka the Vampires and Witches and Elena group of stories). So while you will be sitting around watching reruns (actually, I might as well), my mind will be working on and writing about that Elena and her posse (or gang, or whatever). Look for that to start very soon, and probably be done by January 5th … _


	31. What it Means

_This missing scene begins the morning after the end of Season 3, Episode 10 – "The New Deal"…_

Elena had wanted to see Damon, to say something about what had happened the night before, but as she entered the Boarding House, she still did not know exactly what.

She stopped at the bottom of the stairs, trying to gather her thoughts. Then she moved to sit on the couch.

She hoped she was being quiet, she hoped she would be the one to confront Damon. Confront wasn't really the right word, but she wanted to be the first to speak.

It didn't work out that way. She was still on the couch, trying to clear her thoughts, when Damon was there, speaking from behind her. "Elena?"

The way he said her name made her shiver. She didn't look at him, didn't trust herself. She closed her eyes and spoke softly.

"I didn't ask to you to kiss me."

"I know." His voice was as soft as hers. She had to take a calming breath to build her resolve before she was able to speak again.

"I didn't want you t…" She couldn't bring herself the finish the statement.

He moved to face her, her eyes opening when she knew he was in front of her.

"You didn't hit me," Damon said, "you didn't push me away. Your hand was on mine, but if it was trying to pull mine away, I didn't feel it."

Elena bit her lip and looked down.

"You didn't try to stop it. You weren't repulsed by it."

"I didn't say I was."

Elena's eyes were closed again, but quickly opened as he said "What you felt, Elena, was guilt."

She held his eyes, but didn't speak. He finally said, "You feel as guilty about all of this as I do."

She knew he was right, but tried to explain.

"As bad as Stefan is," she began, "as far as he is from us, he saved you. Even at his worst, he's not trying to hurt me or you, he's still trying to save us."

Damon laughed without humor and walked a few steps from her, saying "You slapped him yesterday, told him to go to hell."

Elena found herself nodding as she said, "I don't understand him, Damon."

He turned to face her quickly, startling her, making her gasp. "Then let me remind you. He doesn't care about the danger to Jeremy or anyone else. He just wants to get Klaus."

"I know," she quickly said, wanting to cut him off, then repeated her question of the night before. "But what does it mean?"

"It means he only wants to hurt Klaus. That's all he lives for right now."

She rose and took a step towards him. "Because of you and me, Damon. Because he thinks he's lost us, because he thinks Klaus took us away."

Damon moved to stand right in front of her. "He doesn't care if those you love get hurt," Damon said slowly. "He may run around trying to save me, but you? Do you really think he cares about you?"

She found herself lowering her eyes again. She didn't really know the answer to his question, so, as she lifted her eyes to his again, she said, "He cares about you, which mean he cares about something. After what happened, all I wanted is for him to care about something."

Elena saw the slightly disbelieving look on his face, and continued "He won't hurt me. Even when I slapped him, he didn't hurt me. He's the same as you were. No matter what I did to you, you wouldn't hurt me."

"And you think it's because he still loves you." Damon said, his eyes skewering hers.

Elena closed her eyes and rubbed her head. "I never thought about what it meant with you, and I don't know what it means with Stefan. It just makes things…" she opened her eyes and looked at him, "complicated."

She looked a little desperate to Damon. As he looked into her eyes he said "So here we are, both filled with guilt because of Stefan. Neither able to get what we really want."

"I don't know what I really want," Elena said, turning to leave.

Damon followed her to the door. "But I can never get what I really want."

Her hand was on the door handle. She didn't turn around, she just opened the door as she spoke, "I never said that."

Elena opened the door and walked through it before turning around and asking, "Are you planning on trying to steal more 'guilt kisses'?"

Damon managed a slight smirk in return. "Would you try to stop me?"

"Maybe," Elena whispered as she resumed her walk to her car.

* * *

_It was harder than usual to do this. During hiatus, I managed to get sick for awhile, then slipped on ice and sprained my knee. I was about ready to just stop, let it go. _

_Then the episode came, and though I didn't force it, things began to churn in my mind. This was the result._

_I realize now that I am still sick, still unable to let this go. Or as one Lupe Fiasco put it..._

"ain't nobody leaving, nobody going home

even if they turn the lights out, the show is going on…"

_At lease the lights are still on at the Vampire Diaries (unlike some of my other shows…)_


	32. The Funerals

_This missing scene begins after season 3, episode 11 – "Our Town"…_

It didn't take long for Damon to find Elena, she was pretty much where he expected – at the Grill, cup in hand, talking to Caroline.

The blonde vampire saw him first as he approached their table. Elena's eyes only found his after she saw the expression on Caroline's face. She could tell that Caroline wanted to tell her something, and that Caroline was annoyed by Damon's appearance. Still, Elena softly asked, "Can I have a minute alone with him?"

Caroline just nodded, still looking at Damon, and left the table.

Elena hadn't expected him to be seeking her out. She watched as he approached and sat across from her, hoping he wasn't bringing bad news.

As he sat, Damon could tell that she was nervous, tentative. She was acting the same way she did the night before, when he had picked her up and taken her home after she refused to get back into Stefan's car. He didn't want to her to feel like this, to feel uncomfortable around him, but he wasn't sure of how to help her get past it.

"How are you?" he asked. She could tell he was genuinely concerned, but little had changed from the night before.

"I'm OK," she said, though she knew her expression didn't really show it.

"Jeremy's gone," he said flatly.

Elena flinched a little and nodded.

"You did the right thing."

"I know you think that. You told me that. I think I did the right thing," She had been looking at the table, but lifted her eyes to his. "But I'll never be sure. I can't help thinking that he'll hate me. It was the second time I asked you to…"

"You're trying to protect him," Damon said when she let her voice trail off, "to save his life. He won't hate you. You've saved my live more than twice, I don't hate you for it."

Elena drew in a breath, but he spoke again before she responded.

"Though I've save your life a couple of times, and, if you were conscious, you were pretty ticked about it. Like when I kept you from turning yourself over to Elijah."

Elena snorted, a slight smile appearing on her face. "I got over it."

"You got over it," He repeated. "So will Jeremy."

She held his eyes, but didn't nod. After a few seconds she said, "I've been to two funerals in the last couple of days."

Damon's expression turned curious, "Funerals? I didn't hear of…"

"Not literally," she quickly said, cutting him off. She took a breath and continued. "The first was for Caroline. She was depressed about her birthday – said it was a reminder of how she was 'dead' now. She was acting like she had no hope, no future. Like nothing good could ever happen to her again."

"Good things can happen to a vampire," Damon said, looking into Elena's eyes intently. "Sometimes you meet the most amazing people, if you live long enough."

She recognized his expression as he looked at her – she had called him on it in the past, told him not to look at her that way. She wasn't going to say that now, she just lowered her eyes and pressed forward.

"So we had the 'funeral' thing to try to get her to leave her old life behind so she could move on."

She hesitated, but he waited for her to look back up at him before he asked "and the second funeral?"

Elena looked down again. "The second was for me. Matt was trying to get me to leave my old life, my pre-vampire life, behind."

"Did it work?" Damon asked.

Elena just shrugged, still looking away from him.

"You can look me in the eye, Elena," Damon said. "I won't…I'll keep my promise to you. I'll respect your wishes."

She looked at him again and nodded. "I know."

"And I'll still do everything I can for you."

"Why, Damon?" She looked a little pained as she spoke, so soft it was almost a whisper. "I can't give you what you want."

"Not yet," he said. "but I understand. You can be stubborn sometimes. No matter what he does..."

Elena closed her eyes and shuddered at the memory. "I think he would have driven me off the bridge. I think he would have done it."

"I think so, too," Damon agreed. "You would have become a vampire. And I know how much you hated it when I created that possibility. You don't want to be a vampire."

"I don't," she whispered, looking at the table again. "but he doesn't care what I want, or don't want. He doesn't care what I think anymore."

"I do," Damon said, reaching his hand over to pull her chin up so he could see her eyes again. "I care what you think. Someday you'll have one of your 'funerals' for you and Stefan. Until then, I can wait."

Elena swallowed and kept her eyes locked with his as he moved his hand from her chin and rose. Caroline was next to him by the time he was standing.

"My turn?" Caroline asked, still annoyed.

"Sure," Damon said, still looking at Elena. "She has my number if she wants me; though she probably won't have to call. If she needs me, I intend be right next to her."

Caroline sat down as Elena watched Damon leave, wondering what had happened between Elena and Damon while she was being saved by Klaus.


	33. Stefans Business

_This missing scene begins after the end of Season 3, episode 12 – "The Ties that Bind"…_

"He hit you?" Elena wasn't screaming, but it was pretty loud.

Damon looked at her with a bit of a smirk.

"He had no right to do that." She said flatly.

"What did you expect, Elena? You told him that I kissed you."

They were crossing outside of the Grill, him leaving it, her approaching the door, when they saw each other and stepped aside to talk briefly.

"What is he thinking…" she began, before what he said registered in her mind.

When it hit her, she paused briefly, then said "Wait, you think I told him you kissed me?"

"Didn't you?"

"No. I told him that I kissed you. You didn't tell him?"

Damon shook his head.

She almost looked angry now. "Where does he get off? It's a little late for him to defend my honor. Hitting you for what I did."

"Actually," Damon said, "it was more of a sucker punch."

"What did he say about it?"

"Nothing." Damon said. "I asked if you were OK, and he just took a swing."

"I can't believe it," Elena muttered, closing her eyes and rubbing her head.

Damon could easily see that she was stressed. "Why did you tell him?" he asked "You're always telling me that when you two are together, all you do is yell at each other. The last time I saw, or heard, you two, you were slapping him."

She looked back up to him, then lowered her eyes and grimaced.

"After all he's done," Damon began, speaking softly, "after he kidnapped you and almost drove you off a bridge, why would you tell him that?"

She closed her eyes again to answer, "He apologized for the bridge thing."

"Of course," Damon sighed. "So you just opened up. One apology and you tell all."

"No," she said looking at him again. Now she was starting to look desperate. "There was wood inside him. He was helpless and I was helping him. I was pulling the wood out, and he told me that I had changed, that I was stronger. After he had been such a jerk to me for so long, while we were saving him," she let a breath out, then continued, "it was the…I don't know, the nicest thing he'd said to me in months."

She watched Damon take in a breath and move his shoulders and neck like he was stretching them. "I told him that I don't feel guilty about what I did, about kissing you." she said quickly.

"And what did Stefan do?" Damon asked. She could tell he was a little upset.

"Nothing. He just walked away saying that I'm better than you, better than both of you."

Damon snorted. "Well he got that right. But you didn't tell him that I kissed you?"

Elena shook her head. Looking uncomfortable.

"Why?"

"Why did you tell Bonnie?" she snapped.

He was taken aback by her tone and didn't immediately respond.

"You did it to humiliate me, Damon," she accused. "It can't be that way between us. You can't use what happens between us like that. Stefan did everything he could to do that to me. You can't do that to me." Her tone got softer as she spoke, she was whispering by the time she was done.

Damon nodded, serious expression, then said "So are you going to tell him about the other kiss, or not?"

Elena let out a small sigh, then looked back into his eyes. "I told him that I kissed you because he and I were together when it happened. I thought he should know that…that I did something like that."

Damon didn't respond, he just waited for her to continue. Finally, she did.

"I don't know if I'll tell him about the other kiss. I haven't decided whether or not what happens between us is his business anymore."

Elena gave him a small, tense smile and entered the Grill.

_Uh oh…I can't tell if the Delena signs are looking up or down just now. Stupid show that I cannot stop watching…_


	34. Keeping and Remembering

_This missing scene begins after the end of Season 3, Episode 13 – Bringing Out the Dead…_

"Well he doesn't look good," Damon said as he suddenly appeared in front of them. He regretted it immediately when Elena left Alaric's side and pulled the vampire into a tight hug.

"Elena," he said soothingly, stroking her hair. "He'll be OK. I'm here if he needs me."

She nodded her head as she continued to hold on tightly for a few more seconds. As she relaxed her grip and began to back away, Damon pulled her chin up to look into her eyes.

"Are you OK?" he asked softly, seeing she was still upset.

"I had to stab him," she whispered.

"I know," Damon said, remembering what she told him when he finally called her back. "But you saved him. You always do what you have to do to save people."

He pulled her back into a hug, which she was happy to let him do. "I know it's not easy for you to do it," he continued. "I'm just sorry you were alone."

Elena shook her head this time and spoke into his shoulder. "I wasn't alone. Matt was here."

She thought she felt a slight flinch, though he didn't speak.

She back up and looked into his eyes. "He brought me home and …and was with me when we found Rick."

She could not read his expression as he said, "I'm glad you weren't alone."

Still, he didn't look right. "Damon," she began, "what's…" She was going to say wrong, but that didn't seem quite right.

"Klaus said something about you marrying Matt."

"Klaus?" she asked, not understanding.

Damon broke eye contact briefly as she said, "Klaus. Stefan and I met with him to distract him while the witches tried to open the coffin."

Elena's eyes widened as she began to look concerned. "Damon, please tell me you didn't. I've asked you not to…"

"It's fine, Elena," Damon interrupted. "It was just dinner…and hearing about his plan to turn you into breeding stock to keep the Petrova doppelganger line moving forward."

Elena still didn't understand, but she was starting to get annoyed with him. "What?..."

"Stefan did burn a little, though" he interrupted, then seeing her eyes widen again, "Not too much, hardly a singe."

Elena just bit her lip and looked at him like she didn't know what to think.

"He's fine, Elena. He even tried to thank me for saving him."

"You saved him?" Elena asked, feeling the need to close her eyes and shake her head at all of the seemingly random information he was giving her.

"I did. He even seemed grateful. It's almost like he's back."

Elena opened her eyes and shook her head again. "I didn't see it when I talked to him. He just stared …" She cut herself off, suddenly, unsure if she wanted Damon to know exactly what happened.

Damon waited a few seconds. "You saw him? What happened?"

She sighed. "I went to ask him if he killed those people – Caroline's dad and…"

Damon tried to hold back a smirk as he asked "And Stefan didn't open right up to his Elena? He just stared?"

Elena frowned. "He didn't answer at all. He just stared and asked if I had asked you if you killed anyone. Then he walked out on me."

Damon wasn't sure of her expression, was she upset with Stefan, or was it something else?

"He still loves you," Damon said flatly.

"If he does, it doesn't show," Elena said, looking away

"You know he does," Damon said, pulling her chin to face him again. "All along, he's been trying to protect you, keep Klaus from you."

"Yet Klaus is here. He got his hybrids." She released a breath and closed her eyes. "Love isn't killing dozens of innocent people to keep something away from me. It's not calling me pathetic and telling me how much he doesn't care."

She looked back up into his eyes. "It's being with me when I need it. It's protecting my family with me. It's standing beside me, no matter who or what is trying to get to me."

Elena was looking intently into Damon's eyes now. "I couldn't have done this without you."

When he didn't immediately say anything, she added, "If he loves me, he doesn't show it. Why would you say that he loves me?"

"Because, if by some miracle, I end up getting what I want in the end, I want you to know everything. I don't want you to start thinking 'maybe Stefan wasn't really all that bad'. I want you to remember."

Elena exhaled and nodded. "I will."

A noise from Alaric, who still sat a few feet away from them, pulled their eyes from each other and to him.

"He still doesn't look so good." Damon whispered as they started moving towards the teacher.

"I can't lose him." Elena replied.

"You won't," Damon reassured. "not tonight."


	35. What She Did

_This missing scene begins after then end of Season 3, Episode 14 - Dangerous Liasons..._

Damon

It hadn't worked. Damon knew as the sun rose that it hadn't worked.

As much as he felt when he let himself go with Rebekah, as good as it felt to remember who he was, what he was capable of, it hadn't worked.

Really, he knew it wouldn't. Nothing had ever worked when he tried to get himself past his feelings for Elena.

Elena had kissed him, let him kiss her. She had thanked him and told him she appreciated him and what he was doing for her. Her expressions, her behavior around him, everything she did all but blurted that she loved him.

Though he wasn't happy to see her at the ball, things were looking up when she agreed to dance with him. Her feelings showed as vividly as they ever had while they danced. They were even showing after she had gone to see the witch, while she was arguing with him, apologizing for having Stefan take him out.

Her feelings were definitely showing after he said he loved her. They showed while she was telling him that his love for her was "the problem". He knew she regretted it immediately. She tried to take her words back, but he interrupted her. Although he knew what she felt, although he knew that she knew it as well, the fact that she would say his love for her was a problem showed that she hadn't accepted it yet. She was still lying to herself.

Though Elena had sometimes asked for his help, though she had shown she would let him do just about anything for her, she still fought him when he protected her. The thing he wanted more than anything, the thing he worked hardest to get – a safe Elena – seemed to be the thing Elena would give up the easiest.

He really didn't believe that she meant what she said about his love being a problem, but the fact that she said it, the fact that she was still lying to herself, was too much. He knew it was impulsive when he left her before she had the chance to take her words back, but she couldn't expect her words not to hurt him, not to do what she intended them to do.

So he left her to wallow in her continuing obsession with his brother, in the lies she still kept trying to tell herself.

He left her and looked for a diversion, something to get his mind off of Elena. He found a couple of things – first a confrontation with Kol, then a tryst with Rebekah.

Both felt good, both were reminders of who he was, who he had been before he came to care about her.

Neither the fight nor the tryst worked. But he really shouldn't have expected them to.

Elena had gotten under his skin, and though she was still trying to deny her feelings for him, he would never deny his feelings for her.

But sometimes, he just wished he could forget the feelings for awhile.

* * *

Elena

Elena hadn't slept much during the night. She was fine while Stefan was with her, she even was able to ask him if he felt any of his old feelings again.

His answer, that if he let himself feel he only felt pain, gave her no comfort. Although he had done what she asked him to do - disable Damon; although he had stopped insulting her and was being more than civil towards her, his words still bothered her. His description of the deaths of the Originals, excluding Klaus, as "collateral damage", upset her enough. His refusal to let himself feel anything because of pain was worse. She felt pain all of the time.

It killed her to watch what Stefan did to Damon – at her request, though she knew Damon would recover. She almost felt Damon deserved it, he had done such things to others before, but it was still hard to watch.

It was harder to face Damon knowing she was the reason Stefan had done it. Her apology was sincere, she didn't want to hurt him. Damon didn't want to hear her apology, he just tried to make her leave. She knew he was trying to protect her, and she appreciated it. His protection of her, despite her objections, was one of the reasons she felt the way she did about him.

She also knew her feelings were showing as she argued with him. His mentioning that he loved her should not have caught her off guard, but it did. Elena knew she should have not responded the way she did, calling his love a problem, and she regretted it immediately. She tried to take it back, but they were interrupted and he left.

She regretted it even more when Damon had an altercation with Kol, when Damon just walked away from them all.

She appreciated the conversation with Stefan, it was a welcome distraction, but what he said gave her no comfort. And when he was gone, all she could do was fret about what she had done to Damon.

Stefan was avoiding pain, but she knew that any pain he felt was his own doing, was because of his own actions.

But Damon? She was beginning to think that she was the cause of any pain Damon felt.

She was torn, she wanted to talk to Damon, to try to apologize again, but she didn't want to expose her feelings again. She still hadn't worked all her feelings out, and it was hard to be around Damon. She had said as much to Caroline, and she meant it.

But Elena knew it didn't give her the right to hurt Damon. She had no idea what she would say when she saw him, she wasn't going to go to his house where she might find him alone. But she went to the Grill, not really sure whether she was hoping he would be there, or would not be there.

She didn't see Damon, but she saw Matt. He was working, though his hand was bandaged, splints on his fingers.

"Matt!" She said as she quickly went to him and caught his eyes. "What happened?"

Matt took a breath and told her the story as he worked. "I was at the ball, on a balcony at their house when Rebekah's brother offered to shake my hand. I took his, and he just squeezed. He crushed my hand."

Elena's eyes widened as he told the story. "I…I'm so sorry. Why?"

Matt just shook his head.

"Just your hand," Elena said, sounding like she was talking to herself. "Why just your hand? Some kind of message?"

"Damon stopped him." Matt said.

Elena looked him in surprise. She was almost afraid to ask. "Damon?"

"Damon. He pushed Kol away from me, off the balcony, then jumped after him."

Elena released a breath and closed her eyes as Matt continued. "I know he's been helping you with Stefan…messed up. I really don't know what's going on between you and Damon, Elena."

Elena opened her eyes as he continued, "Caroline said…" but he didn't finsih that statement. Instead he said, "I owe him now. I don't know what Kol would have done, but I owe Damon now."

When Elena didn't respond, Matt asked, "Can you tell him 'thanks' for me? I don't know when I'll see him again."

Elena nodded. "Sure," she said, though after the way she had treated him, she was not sure when she would see him again.

"I wanted to tell him last night," Matt said as he turned around, "but when I saw him, he was leaving with Rebekah."

Elena gasped as she watched Matt walk away from her. She found herself closing her eyes and rubbing her head as she whispered, "What have I done?" to herself.

* * *

_As much as I am in love with Elena Gilbert, I have to admit that, sometimes, I have no idea what Damon sees in TV Elena. About all I can think of is that the writers must think it makes for a good story for her to act so idiotic all the time. Surely they will have her waking up by the time it is all over…_

_Personally, I think that many of the stories at this site (including Elena and the Pledge, if I may say so) prove that a much more rational Elena, an Elena who has figured out the Damon/Stefan thing, can still be a part of superb stories…_


	36. Meaning and Intent

_This missing scene begins after the end of Season 3, Episode 15 – All My Children…_

"Are you sure you have right brother?" Damon asked, after checking the caller on his phone's screen. "Surely you wanted Stefan."

"I'm sure," Elena responded.

"What do you want with me? Upset that I kept you alive again?"

Elena hesitated. This wasn't really the reason for her call, but she answered. "You know it's not what I would have wanted, Damon; making Bonnie's mother a vampire."

"It worked, Elena. She's not dead and neither are you."

Elena exhaled. "Still, not what I wanted. You know that."

"And exactly what did I get out of all of those times when I did what you wanted me to, Elena?"

Elena closed her eyes and bit her lip briefly. "Damon, please. Don't be like that."

"Like what Elena?" Damon asked. Then without waiting for a reply, he said, "Oh yeah. Like loving you and doing anything I have to do to keep you alive. I'm trying to change, Elena – really I am. And you're starting to make it easier for me."

"Damon, please. That's not what this is about."

The vampire hesitated, then asked "What is this about, Elena?"

"Bonnie's hurting, Damon, but Caroline wouldn't let me see her."

"And?"

"Caroline said that Bonnie thought what you did was OK, because it was to save me."

Damon snorted. "And you thought I was the only one who thought like that. I guess I have something in common with Goldilocks and the witch after all."

"How do you think that makes me feel, Damon?"

"Safe?" Damon asked, the sarcasm evident in his voice. "Protected? Loved?"

She had an idea of what he would say when she asked, but his answer still stung a little.

"You guys don't care who gets hurt. Everyone is willing to turn into a monster to try to save me."

"Everyone doesn't turn into a monster for you Elena. I've always been a monster."

"No!" Elena gasped. "That's not true. Damon. That's not what I meant."

"Well, you've always treated me like one."

"Damon, please." Elena was whispering now. "That's not what I meant."

"Not what you meant," Damon said, his voice emotionless. "You didn't mean to call me a monster, like you didn't mean to say that my love for you was a problem. Do you mean anything you say anymore, Elena?"

He heard her let a breath out, he could almost feel her tension through the phone. He almost tried to say something comforting, but held back and waited for her to speak again.

Her voice was soft when she did. "Remember when you used to come to me after I had nearly died, or when we had been apart for most of the day?"

"Back before you got Stefan back? When you pretended to trust me, to care about me?"

Elena ignored the Stefan comment. "I wasn't pretending Damon. I trusted you, I still do. And I cared about you, I still care."

"You trust me, care about me, but you still had to call to complain about what I did."

Elena shook her head as she said, "That's not why I called, Damon."

"But you still did it. Maybe you should go back to Stefan."

This caught Elena off guard. "What? Damon, why would you even say that?"

"He's back on the wagon, Elena. His 'Ripper' days are over."

"How would you know?" she asked, obviously confused. "And why would you think I want to 'go back' to him?"

"Because I've been paying attention, Elena."

"Damon, please…" she began before she realized that he had disconnected.

The doppelganger closed her eyes and rubbed her head. The call to Damon had not gone at all as she intended.

* * *

_Though I find TV Elena extremely annoying lately, I remain madly in love with her, so I find the fact that I have to wait weeks to see her again even more annoying._

_The TVD producers or writers or whoever always find a way to annoy me (not that I'm self-centered or anything)…_


	37. As Close As Ever

_This missing scene begins after the last one ... (stupid break)_

Elena knew it might happen, but she was still disappointed when Stefan answered the door of the Salvatore Boarding House.

"Elena. I thought you didn't knock anymore."

Stefan showed no emotion. He never really showed her what he was feeling anymore, so she had no idea about what he was thinking. She used to feel safe when near him, but that feeling was long gone – replaced at first by fear, more recently by emptiness. He had told her he didn't care what happened to her, and his actions around her still showed that what he said was true.

"Is Damon here?" she asked, tentatively.

She though she saw a flicker of annoyance on the vampire's face before he responded. "You want to see Damon."

She waited for him to continue, but he was making this hard for her, he was going to make her say it again. She nodded and said, "Please."

"He's not here." He was smirking as he said it. Really, the only thing approaching emotion she had seen on him recently was his annoyance when they were talking about Damon. "You should have called."

"I have called, Stefan," she said, trying to make her voice as emotionless as his. "He's not answering."

Stefan just stared at her as if expecting her to continue.

She swallowed and let her eyes close for a second before she asked, "Why won't he talk to me?"

"You'll have to ask him."

Elena bristled. First Damon shuts her out, now Stefan seemed to be taunting her about it. "I've left messages."

"Then maybe you should take the hint," Stefan said, starting to close the door.

She managed to squeeze through the door and turn to face him. "Stefan, please."

He turned to her, pushing the door shut behind her, but his face was still blank.

"Please," she repeated. "I just need to talk to him."

"He's really not here, Elena," Stefan repeated, though at least his tone was a little softer.

Elena sighed and whispered, "Why won't he talk to me?" It was more to herself this time. Her eyes had moved to the stairs when she heard Stefan speak.

"He thinks you hate him." When Elena gave him a quizzical look, he added, "because of what he did to Abby."

Elena looked down and said, "He thinks I just want to yell at him, tell him he shouldn't have done that."

"It wouldn't be the first time," Stefan said.

"I know," Elena whispered, nodding her head.

"He saved your life, Elena."

She did flinch this time. She closed her eyes as she repeated "I know."

"I would have done it, if Damon hadn't."

This made Elena open her eyes. She was starting to shake her head as she said, "You would have let me choose."

Stefan nodded slightly. "There was a time I would have. In fact, I did let you choose, Elena," Stefan said. "With Elijah and Klaus. When Klaus was going to sacrifice you, I let you choose to trust Elijah." He looked away and shook his head. "You would be dead. I've had a long time to think about it, a long time to hate myself for it. You're alive because Damon didn't just let you trust Elijah. He found a way to keep you alive even though Klaus killed you and Elijah betrayed us."

She was beginning to scowl when he turned back to her and added "You're alive because Damon wouldn't let you die." Then he added "I'm starting to see that he was right about that."

His expression was hard now, it shocked her, taking away any response she might have made.

"Is he right, Elena? Have you given up on him?"

She could only stare at him for a few seconds, but finally managed to ask, "Why … why are you asking?"

"I bit you, Elena. Did Damon ever do that to you?"

When Stefan just looked at her, expecting an answer, she nodded. "After Tyler bit him, when he was delirious."

"I wasn't delirious when I bit you Elena."

"But you were compelled…" Elena started.

"I knew what I was doing," Stefan interrupted. "And I killed people right in front of you."

The shock still showed on Elena's face, but she managed to say "Damon tried to kill Jeremy right in front of me."

"Jeremy's alive, Elena. The people I killed are dead."

She took a step back, as she asked. "Why are you doing this? What do you want from me.?"

He laughed briefly, then was completely emotionless again. "What do I want? I want the same think from you he does."

When she gave him another questioning look, he said, "He still loves you, Elena."

Elena shook her head. "He won't even talk to me." She turned and started to leave.

"He loves you, and he'll still do whatever he has to do to keep you alive."

She had opened the door, but hadn't gone through it. She turned back to Stefan and asked "Then why won't he talk to me?"

"Because, no matter what he does, it's not good enough for you."

While she was shaking her head, Stefan added "And he thinks that no matter what I've done, it's not enough to drive you away."

She bit her lip and shook her head as she turned around again. She didn't want to talk to Stefan about this. "Please ask him to call me."

"He did everything you asked of him, and more. But now, he thinks you don't want him."

She cringed, but did not turn around. She was afraid he would see the tears starting to form in her eyes.

"I don't know what I want," she said as she started walking again.

"Well, you need to decide, Elena." She hesitated, but did not turn around. "Whatever you think of me right now, you're as close to losing him as you've ever been."

* * *

_Oh. This is really more fantasy than missing scene. Really, it's the TVD people's fault for leaving my TVD (and Delena) needs unfulfilled..._


	38. Still Torn

_This missing scene begins after the last one. Welcome to my fantasy…welcome to La La land…_

Elena froze as she entered her bedroom from the bathroom. She closed her eyes and took a breath. When she opened them again, she saw that it was true. Damon was next to her window. He had been sitting when she first saw him, right where she was when she read Elijah's note of apology. Now he was standing, but he really was there, here.

She felt an immediate tightening in her throat, enough that she was only able to whisper "You're here."

His face was blank, but shifted to a slight smirk as he said, "What? No 'seriously'? No annoyed expression? Am I in the right room?"

"Yes," she said quickly, afraid that she saw him shift slightly as if to leave. She didn't know if it was her imagination, but she was relieved to see that he was not moving.

His face was blank again when he said "Stefan said I should talk to you."

"Stefan?"

Damon shrugged, then nodded. "He's a little worried about you. I guess you saw him today."

"Yeah," Elena confirmed, taking a step towards him, then stopping herself. "I don't know what to think about…" She tilted her head. "He told you to come see me?"

Damon nodded again. He still hadn't moved, his face was still pretty much blank.

"And you came," Elena said softly, really just speaking to herself.

"He still loves you. I trust him when it's about you, if he's not in 'revenge mode'."

Elena bit her lip, but managed to hold his eyes as she nodded.

She only realized that some time had passed with her just looking at him, when he said "I'm here. You wanted to tell me something?"

She nodded automatically, but was having trouble saying anything. All she was able to get out was a soft, "I'm sorry."

"About?" Elena hated that his face was still emotionless as he spoke.

She hesitated, knowing that her face reflected the pain she was feeling. "Everything," she managed to whisper.

"Everything," Damon repeated. His face hardened slightly. "Do you even know what you're sorry for?"

Elena cringed and nodded, still managing to maintain eye contact.

"But you don't respect me enough to tell me," he said, almost a growl.

"Damon!" Elena cried, sure he was turning to leave now. She found herself taking several steps toward him. "Please."

She was relieved when he turned to face her again, even though his face reflected some anger. She almost wished for the blank expression to return, though she had found it unnerving as well.

She closed her eyes and lowered her head slightly as she said, "I know you love me. It's not a problem. I had no right to say that."

She opened her eyes, a little relieved that he was still there, though he did not speak.

"I know you worry about me and would do anything to protect me." She looked away briefly and took a breath before her eyes returned to his. "I don't really understand why you and Bonnie…and others would do so much to…to protect me. I don't…"

Words escaped her, and she looked down again. She was relieved when he spoke.

"You shouldn't have trusted Elijah."

She looked back at him, suddenly desperate for him to understand. "I know. It's just that Elijah kept me alive before Klaus took me to be sacrificed and …"

"You think Elijah kept you alive!" Damon interrupted. His angry tone caused Elena to bite her lip, but she couldn't risk turning away from him.

"He apologized for kidnapping me, leaving me with Rebekah," she managed to whisper.

"Well I see," Damon retorted. "That makes it OK." His face visibly hardened. "You would not have been any less dead if I hadn't broken the witch line."

Elena flinched and nodded. "I know, you're right. I won't be so quick to trust them again."

"Again?" Damon was in full glare mode now.

Elena had to close her eyes and release a breath. "You know, you saved them," she said softly, opening her eyes. "Klaus, Rebekah, Elijah."

"I saved you." Damon snapped. "The rest were just collateral damage.

Though his tone forced her eyes closed again, when she realized what he said, she couldn't hold back a smile and small giggle.

"What?" Damon asked. She opened her eyes to see his face, still hard, though a little softer than before.

"Stefan called them 'collateral damage' when he was talking about them being killed. Now you say it about saving them." Her grin grew a little bigger, as did her relief when she saw his face move to a small smirk.

"Well, I'm a funny guy. People who know me know that."

"I know you," she found herself saying, though she was again speaking softly.

She looked at his smirk for a few seconds before she added, "I don't want to lose you."

He just looked at her, so she eventually added, "and I don't want anyone to be hurt because of who I am."

Damon's face was suddenly hard again. "Not because of who you are. Because of who Klaus is." She cringed a little, and he softened. "We – Stefan, Bonnie, Rick, me - we do what we do to protect you because of who you are. We love you because of who you are."

She nodded as she lowered her eyes, knowing her feelings were showing again. She didn't try to hide them this time. She walked towards him, stopping just a couple of feet away, "Are we OK? You and me?" She asked as she looked back into his eyes.

He stared at her for a few seconds. "Do you love me?"

"Yes." She said without hesitation, but her response didn't satisfy him.

"Do you love me the way I want you to?"

She cringed and closed her eyes briefly, but didn't try to hide her feelings. She knew that he already knew the answer to his question.

"Probably," she said, looking back into his eyes. She really was still torn, but he knew that as well.

Damon nodded. She could not read his expression now. "Then we're 'probably' OK," he said as he turned and left.

She watched him leave, relieved that he had finally talked with her, knowing that couldn't keep doing this to him.

_Well, I can't believe how far into Fantasy-Land I've let myself wander. I think I'll just let my self rest here now until the show returns…_


	39. Everyone but Damon

_This missing scene begins after the end of Season 3, Episode 16 – 1912…_

Elena's mind was still running through the events of the day when she entered her room and Damon was there.

She froze. She had run into him earlier, had tried to talk to him; but it hadn't turned out well. Even when the subject was Alaric, someone they both cared about, it had quickly deteriorated in to her being defensive and Damon being sarcastic, sarcastic and mean.

She wanted to see him, but it was hard to do it so soon after their earlier argument – after he had said that all was right if she hated him, after she had said he would end up alone if he kept pushing people away. Really, it was a plea for him to not push her away, though she was not sure he would understand that.

She wanted to see Damon and talk to him about what he had done for her. She wanted to thank him; but when he told her he had saved her, it was too sarcastic for her to respond as she should have, as she wanted to. So she did what she had done several times when alone with him recently, she deflected - told him to have compassion for Bonnie. Then he got worse.

She had faced him at his worst so often, always been able to talk to him or fight with him or do whatever she needed to do. But lately, now that she cared about him, now that he had done the unimaginable to help her, she didn't know what to do.

The doppelganger started to fold her arms in front of her as she looked at him, but it turned into her wrapping her arms around herself as if trying to hold herself together. She could only look at him, almost afraid to say anything, afraid any words would draw a snarky comment from him. His voice wasn't sarcastic, but did sound strained when he said, without any other greeting, "You need to be careful around Alaric."

She tilted her head as she realized what he was saying. Did he know already?

Damon seemed to think that she needed more of an explanation, and continued, "We found something, we're afraid the ring he has might affect him…might make him…"

He was trying to find the word when Elena said, "Crazy," as she nodded her head. "I found something in an old journal that says the same thing."

Damon looked surprised briefly, but it was quickly gone. He nodded and asked, "Have you told him?"

"Meredith did." When she saw a slight wince in his expression, he added, "She came over to tell him she thought the ring was affecting him mentally. She said some things about missing time, and so on."

"Did he take off the ring?"

Elena nodded and closed her eyes. "I don't know if he gave it to her or kept it – I left it to them." Then she lowered her head and said, "I gave him that ring – to protect him while we were looking for Stefan. I talked him into using it again."

"You didn't know." Damon's gentle tone surprised her so much that she opened her eyes.

"How could my family not know?" She asked, knowing her eyes were pleading, begging for an answer.

Damon shrugged. "I'm not sure. Stefan found something about John Gilbert's granddaughter confessing to the 1912 murders."

Elena nodded. "I found her journal." She sighed. Neither of them had closed the distance between them. She was near her bed, he next to the window. "Now we know why all of the Gilberts are crazy."

"Not all." Damon said flatly, his tone no longer gentle, but no longer strained.

"Jeremy has the other," Elena said, shaking her head. "I've got to warn him." Elena thought Damon winced a little, probably because he had caused Jeremy to use the ring.

"Just be sure first," Damon said. "Alaric used the ring a lot. Even if it is true, we don't know much."

She could have accused him of causing both Alaric and Jeremy to use the rings, but held back. This was not the time to bring up past problems when no one knew the truth, and she did not want them to part on bad terms again.

Still, she thought she had to ask about what she had seen earlier. "What happened with you and Stefan - and that woman?"

Damon's face went completely blank, and she was afraid he would think she was out of line, but he couldn't expect her to just ignore it. "I saw you giving her your blood, Stefan standing there with blood on his face. What happened?"

Damon didn't hesitate at all. "You don't want to know."

It didn't take her long to realize that he was right. She knew what she had seen. It was Stefan who just looked stricken when she caught him; Damon, as usual, had perfect control. Damon was saving the woman.

She had told Matt that whatever she did, she couldn't shake her feelings for Damon. It was only half the truth. Really, she couldn't shake the feelings no matter what she or Damon did.

So she asked the question that mattered. "Is she OK? I saw you giving her your blood."

"She is."

Elena nodded. Thinking about it made her remember something else she had admitted to Matt. She had been able to explain her feelings for Stefan – knowing he would love her forever and not die on her. She had not been able to explain her feelings for Damon. They were just there.

She looked at him, not knowing what else to say. This would be the time to say something. Caroline knew how she felt about Damon, so did Bonnie – despite her denials to both. Alaric knew, now even Matt knew - she had told him herself. She was finding that she could talk to almost anybody about this – anybody but Damon.

She reminded herself that Damon already knew, but she really wanted to say something – anything.

Before words came to her, he spoke and turned to leave. "Be careful around Rick."

"Why are you doing this?" she found herself asking as he turned around. He didn't answer, but turned to face her again.

"You've saved me before, done whatever you had to do to save me."

He didn't respond, so she kept talking, closing the distance between them. "But you've never pushed me away afterward. You've never tried to get me to hate you."

She stopped, close enough to touch him, though she didn't try to, as she asked "Why do you want me to hate you?"

Her mind raced as she waited for a response. She was afraid he would say something like 'If I can't get you to hate me, you'll just hate yourself.'

He simply said, "I don't." Then he was gone without even turning around. Only the movement of the curtains by the window told her where he had been.

"Then why are you doing this?" she whispered to herself as she sat on her bed and drew in several calming breaths.

* * *

_I am fairly inattentive, but I have seen glimpses of people here and there who have decided to give up on Delena. I feared this episode, thinking they might know something. Maybe they do, but I truly have more hope for TV Elena than I have had for a long, long time. She's admitting her feelings for Damon (if not to him), and future episodes do not fill me with dread now…_


	40. Because of Damon

_This missing scene occurs between the last two scenes of Season 3, Episode 17 – "Break on Through", between Elena's call to Jeremy and Damon's conversation with Stefan…_

Elena was finding that she couldn't face Damon, couldn't look him in the eye. The last couple of times she had run into him, she found herself grimacing and looking away before she could force herself to talk to him.

Even in her most recent encounter with him, when he had come to the hospital to pick up Alaric, she had tried to just walk away from him - but he followed her. When caught her and tried to say something about Alaric being okay, she found herself turning on him, accusing him.

He didn't flinch, he never flinched. He didn't deny the truth, either; he just told it to her. She tried to argue with him, but he just told her that Stefan needed to learn control.

She knew he was right. She was even a little nervous the first time she had run into Stefan after seeing Damon, less so the second time. It was so strange. Even after all Stefan had done around her and to her, she could just talk to him. It didn't always turn out well, but she could do it. She could even talk to him about Damon.

But she couldn't talk to Damon. She wanted to talk to him as much as she wanted anything now. She had already talked to Bonnie, gotten her forgiveness. She had talked to Jeremy and satisfied herself that he was doing okay.

She had talked to Stefan and Caroline. She had even convinced herself that Alaric would be alright.

It was killing her that she wasn't able to talk to Damon, wasn't able to just face him, thank him and tell him about the feelings she had for him that just wouldn't go away. But she couldn't talk to Damon. If he wasn't being a sarcastic jerk to her, she was accusing him, walking out on him.

Worst of all, he hadn't stopped doing things for her. No matter what he said to her or what she said to him, her debt to him was getting bigger.

The face to face thing wasn't working, and getting messages about him through Stefan or Alaric wasn't much better. She decided to call him – to try to call him, at least. He had ignored some of her calls recently.

She found herself calling him after she talked to Jeremy, a little worried about what he would say if he answered. Not that he had said anything mean or sarcastic to her when she last saw him. She had been the angry one – Damon just told her the truth.

"Elena," Damon said as he answered. "How unexpected of you to call me. Surely you didn't catch Stefan snacking on anyone – he had to have been full from all of the blood bags he downed after talking to you."

"All of the what?" Elena asked, confused.

"And the Rebekah thing," he continued. "That was just a shot at getting some information. It worked, but really didn't end well."

"Alaric!" she blurted before he could say any more. The phone thing wasn't working out much better than face to face had. "I wanted to thank you for helping Rick, for making sure he got home OK."

"You're welcome," Damon said, sounding a little sarcastic. "He helps me, I help him. That's what friends are for. Anytime I have a Jekyll/Hyde friend, I will help him get home and try to keep 'Mr. Hyde' at bay."

Elena found herself nodding as he added, "Though I could learn to like the 'Mr. Hyde' side…"

"Damon!" Elena interrupted. "Please. I'm just trying to thank you. You were the only one that could take care of him in the condition he was in. I couldn't. Stefan was gone. You were the only one that could help, and you did. So thank you."

"You're welcome. Again," Damon's sarcasm was gone, and Elena almost had hope that she could say more, but he suddenly said, "Got to go. Stefan's drinking..."

He was gone, leaving her wondering whether he meant that Stefan was drinking blood, or something else.

She stayed where she was; holding her phone, rubbing her head and thinking. Jeremy, Alaric and Stefan were on her mind. Three people that she loved, three people who loved her.

Three people who were safe and/or alive right now, because of Damon.

* * *

_Am I the only one that spells Rick with a 'k'? I know the full name is Alaric without a 'k', but I am really Jonathan without an 'h' between the o and the n, yet I put an 'h' in the abbreviated 'John'. Surely I'm not the only one…_

_Ever so brief break from my Elena Gilbert obsession to see 'The Hunger Games' earlier tonight. I know I am in love with Elena, but I find myself in love with Katniss Everdeen as well_. _There are times I am every bit as idiotic (or torn or whatever) as TV Elena…_


	41. It All Comes Down to This

_This missing scene occurs near the end of Season 3, Episode 18 – "The Murder of One" after Stefan walks out on Elena…_

Damon

As Damon approached Alaric's door, he told himself that he was giving Elena what she wanted. Stefan was back, and she had basically chosen him – so he was leaving her alone, giving her what she wanted.

Not that she had told him that – whenever they were alone, they ended up arguing and she ended up walking out on him. Well, really it was Elena doing the arguing, the fighting. It was Elena who was never happy with what he did.

Never mind that it was Damon who broke the witch's spell to keep her alive. Never mind that it was Damon who took the risks needed to find out about the White Oak tree and bridge, who managed to get the sign made of the wood that could kill an Original. Never mind that it was Damon who was captured and tortured by Rebekah because of what he had done to protect Elena.

Elena had made her choice, or so it seemed to him. He still thought that she was lying to herself, that her feelings for him were still there. It didn't matter – she wasn't acting on them and she had belittled him for acting on his feelings for her.

He knew that he was doing more for her than she deserved, than her attitude and actions towards him warranted. He told himself it was because she had saved him in the past, though he knew he had repaid those debts to her long ago. Still he did all he could to protect her, but nothing he had done for her or with her seemed to matter now. She had her Stefan back, it was what she wanted.

So he told himself he was doing what she wanted him to, he was giving her the space she wanted. And he told himself that, with the way she was treating him, he could let her go. He didn't need her.

Even earlier, when she had come to see Alaric, he had been able to just send her away. It wasn't his first choice, but he had been able to do it. He could tell himself he was getting over her.

He could tell himself that until Rebekah captured and tortured him. The torture wasn't all that bad, worse had been done to him before – until Rebekah entered his mind and put Elena there.

Everything he had been telling himself about Elena was wiped away in those few moments. Elena seemed to be so close to him, so concerned about him. Elena was willing to risk herself to save him.

It was the Elena that he wanted, the Elena that he knew her to be. She had put herself at risk to save him before, so it could easily have been real. He found himself completely devastated when Rebekah broke the ruse and he found himself still her prisoner,

It was far worse than the physical torture the Original had inflicted on him. It brought all of the feelings he had for Elena back.

He was glad that when Stefan rescued him, his brother just sent him after Alaric's stake. Elena was nowhere to be seen. He wasn't sure what he would have done if he had seen her.

As he knocked on Alaric's door, Damon he knew he was back in the situation he had been in months ago – strong feelings for Elena which, although he was sure she felt the same way, were not being returned.

* * *

Elena

As Elena watched Stefan walk out on her, again, she remembered that it wasn't the first time Stefan had done this to her. He had done it when she asked him about the death of the medical examiner. He had done it when she told him that she kissed Damon.

It wasn't that she couldn't talk to Stefan, he seemed to be opening up to her again. He seemed to be getting past his obsession with Klaus, and she had only been trying to encourage him when he brought Damon up.

She could talk to Stefan, she just couldn't talk to him about Damon. Well, that wasn't true either. She had been able to ask his for his help to disable Damon at the Ball, been able to talk to him about Damon afterwards. What was true, was that he was jealous and she couldn't hide her feelings for Damon from him.

She had tried to deny the feelings when Stefan accused her of having them; but he pinned her down, so she told him the truth. The scariest part to her was that since Stefan knew, and really everyone else close to her knew, Damon would know as well.

Damon had expressed his feelings for her, had told her that he wanted her to remember what she felt for him, but he never really asked how she felt towards him. Damon had not confronted her the way Stefan had. He had accused her in the past of having feelings for him, but that was long ago. All he had done since was protect her, help her and express his love for her.

Really, she hadn't seen him much since he turned Bonnie's mother into a vampire to save her. She hsd mostly seen him when she was helping Alaric, and she always found something to fight with Damon about, something to accuse him of. She had even let herself smirk at Caroline's snide comment about Rebekah being desperate because she slept with Damon.

Elena was in denial, and everyone knew it – even Stefan was calling her on it. Damon had to know it as well, but he wasn't bringing it up. He was just doing what he had always done – helping her, saving Stefan and Alaric.

Really, it was annoying. Damon had gone to great lengths to save Stefan, had done everything she asked of him, but when it came to her wanting Stefan to save Damon instead of going after Finn, he refused. Stefan's obsession with the Originals mattered more than what she thought

Elena knew now that she wasn't fooling anyone. Maybe Damon was right, maybe she was just lying to herself. She had recently warned Damon that he would end up alone if he didn't stop pushing people away. Now she could see that she was in danger of the same thing. Stefan was pushing her away, and she could barely face Damon.

But now she had to face him. Damon wasn't pushing himself on her, but they were together sometimes. She would talk to him about the feelings. They had been able to talk to each other while he was helping her find and fix Stefan. There had been no games, no awkwardness between them. Surely it could be that way between them again – at least long enough for her to work her feelings out.

Elena couldn't believe that she had let it come to this – to her trying to hide her feelings for someone who had done so much for her. But she resolved to do something about it now. She and Damon would be together soon for one reason or another. This time she wouldn't accuse him or criticize him. This time she would take a shot at talking about the feelings, and she would see what happens.

She knew it would be hard for her to do after the way she had been treating him recently. Still, she was the one who had let it come to this, and she resolved fix it.


	42. Lashing Out

_This missing scene begins after the end of Season 3 Episode 19, "Heart of Darkness"… _

Damon was unbearably quiet after he and Elena had their argument. All Elena could do was think about how she had messed this up.

She had come on the trip to sort out feelings, to talk to Damon. Although she had wanted some time alone with Damon, it was annoying that Stefan had sent her on this trip. Still, she was sure she had not come on the trip to put Damon in the position of "lashing out", like he accused her of wanting him to do. He may have forced her to say that she thought he lashed out at her sometimes, but she was sure she really was here to talk to him, to see what would happen between them.

What had happened so far wasn't good. Now Damon was upset and all she could think about was that she said she thought he lashed out when things got hard. He had put her on the spot and she had messed up - again. The only difference between this and her comment at the Ball that had sent him away was that, though he did walk away from her after this argument, he hadn't left her to find her own way home.

The fact that Jeremy was with them was making this even harder. Though she had the entire plane ride to Denver to talk to Damon, she couldn't force herself to bring the subject up on the plane. Perhaps she was afraid that something bad would happen – something like their argument at the house in Kansas.

They were still in Kansas when Elena convinced Damon that she needed to stop to eat. As Jeremy exited the SUV Damon had rented, Elena managed to ask him to spend some extra time in the restroom.

Still, when she and Damon were alone, after she had told the waitress to wait for Jeremy to return before doing anything, she had trouble speaking to Damon. He was barely looking at her, was obviously still upset with her.

"I shouldn't have said that," she finally said, her voice soft. When Damon's eyes met hers, she continued, "about sabotage and you lashing out. I shouldn't have said those things."

Damon hesitated, then responded in a voice as soft as hers, "It's what you think is true."

Elena cringed slightly and looked down. She hadn't decided on a response he said, "Don't apologize for telling me what you think."

Elena let out a breath and looked back to him. "I didn't mean to say those things."

Damon shook his head and repeated himself. "Don't apologize. If what you're saying is true, if you really are trying to figure out if you have feelings for me, I need to know what you think. Though I'm really not sure why you think that about me."

Elena let out a small gasp before she could control it. "Why I would think you lash out? How about you fighting with Kol at the Ball, sleeping with Rebekah afterwards. All that because I said…what I said to you."

"Matt," Damon said flatly.

"Matt?" Elena asked tilting her head in confusion.

"Something was going on between Matt and Kol. I found them on the balcony where Kol was squeezing his hand, crushing it. Kol didn't stop when I told him to, so I knocked him off the balcony and put him out of commission for a while."

Elena was gaping at him in surprise when he continued, "Rebekah was trying to talk to him afterwards. He didn't want to talk to her so I thought it best to keep her occupied for a bit."

Elena bit her lip and looked away. "You didn't tell me any of this the next morning."

"You were all indignant and accusing."

Elena put her elbows on the table and let her head fall into her hands as she tried to process the information.

"How I am supposed to do this," she began a she lifted her eyes to meet his again, "if I don't know these things. First Rose, and now Matt?"

"Sure." Damon said, letting a hint of sarcasm enter his voice, then he spoke mockingly. "'Elena, look at what I did. Do you love me now?' Is that what you want?"

Elena cringed and looked away again.

Damon's voice returned to normal, though a little testy, as he added, "You won't know everything, Elena; though enough has been done right in front of you to know who I am."

When Elena didn't immediately respond, he added, "It would be nice if you didn't automatically just think the worst about me every time."

Elena found herself nodding her head. "You're right….okay."

"Okay." Damon repeated, letting a slight smirk form on his face. Then he whispered, "Remember, sometimes I do things right in front of you. Like the kissing thing…"

Elena laughed softly. "That part was pretty good..."

"'Pretty good'?" Damon asked, his voice sarcastic again.

"Fine. It was really good," she admitted.

"Is that what you're going to tell Stefan?" Damon asked, then seeing her tilt her head questioningly, added, "Is he going to slug me again?"

"Was the 'kissing thing' not worth a slug from your brother?" she asked in response, laughing.

They were interrupted by the sound of Jeremy clearing his throat. As Elena moved over to let him sit next to her in the booth, he looked pointedly at her and said softly, mimicking her voice, "Why nothing's going on between me and Damon, Jeremy. Why would you think that?"

Elena bit her lip to try to keep a laugh from escaping. She glanced at Damon to see that his smirk was as big as her smile had become.

* * *

_Now you see one of the flaws in the little game I play here. This chapter contradicts a previous chapter. It is the fault of the show, of course. They don't get everything right, and, from time to time, I have to remind them of the way things should have happened… _


	43. What Damon Does

_This missing scene begins near the of Season 3 Episode 20, "Do Not Go Gentle", after Elena leaves Alaric and he closes the door, before she is with Stefan, cleaning up Alaric's vampire-related stuff… _

Elena was leaving with everyone else, everyone except Damon and Meredith. Stefan was beside her, but she found herself shaking herself, then stopping and turning to face him.

"Stefan, I need a minute." She hoped her voice was calm and reasonable, but couldn't be sure. She knew she was upset and that it was probably reflected in her voice.

He looked like he was going to say something, but finally just nodded. As she turned and walked towards Damon, she saw Meredith walking through door Alaric had closed a few minutes before, going to him. Elena knew Damon would hear her approach, but didn't say anything. She was a little surprised that, as she moved to stand beside him, he just continued to stare at the door.

"He trusts you," she finally said, her voice quivering a little. "He trusts you to make sure no one is hurt while he…" She had to close her eyes and look away from both the door and Damon.

It was a few seconds before Damon said anything. When he did, he sounded like he was still staring at the same place. "It's what I do; keep the dying from hurting anyone."

She turned to look at him just as he turned to face her and continued speaking. "I know what I said, but I didn't want it to come to this. I know what he's done for you, Elena."

She nodded her head, grimacing. "I know. You were his friend as much as anyone was. This can't be easy for you."

Damon's face remained serious as he looked at her, but he didn't respond. She quickly became uncomfortable and found herself shaking her head again, looking back at the door.

"I wish Bonnie had been able to break the spell sooner – the spell keeping you away from us."

'The wicked witch was fighting her," Damon said. "It did give me a chance to apologize to her for making her mother a vampire."

"You apologized to her?" Elena asked in surprise. She found Damon's eyes again. His expression had not changed.

"It was more of a statement than an apology. I told her I had no choice when I did it."

"What did she say?" Elena asked, remembering that Bonnie had forgiven her without hesitation. She hoped Bonnie would do the same for Stefan and Damon, though she did not really expect it.

"She said something about there always being a choice. I've told you who I would choose if the choice was between you and anyone else."

Elena remembered when he told her that, and from what she could tell, Damon had been true to his promise to her.

"And she said something about people suffering whenever I make a choice," he continued. "Like she would be suffering less if you were dead."

Elena wanted to defend Bonnie, but wasn't going there with Damon again. All she could do was whisper, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't…"

"Aren't you with Stefan tonight?" Damon interrupted.

Elena raised her eyes to his, afraid there would be something like anger there. There wasn't - just the same hard expression that had been on his face since she found him with her eyes while walking away from Alaric.

"Damon, I didn't…I didn't think you would want…"

"Don't apologize," he interrupted. "Do what you think you need to do, but don't expect me to watch it. I've never enjoyed watching you and Stefan together."

She lowered her eyes. "If it helps, some of it felt pretty awkward."

Damon's face briefly switched to a smirk. "Awkward? Maybe I could have watched that."

Elena let out a breath an shook her head. Then Damon was pulling her chin so her eyes were raised back to his.

"You'll be OK, Elena. I've got this."

Elena could feel the pain and agitation return as her mind returned to Alaric. "I feel like I'm abandoning him."

"He knows better," Damon assured her. "You're with Stefan tonight. He's waiting for you. I've got this."

Elena bit her lip and nodded as she turned and began to walk to Stefan. "Thanks for doing this for…for him. For Rick and me."

She heard his soft "You're welcome" as she reached Stefan.


	44. The Safe Choice

_These missing/extended scenes begin near the of Season 3 Episode 21, "Before Sunset". You'll be able tell where they begin, if you watched the show…(if you didn't, what are you doing here?)…_

Damon

Damon looked at his brother as Stefan drove. They were very close to dumping Klaus' body. This time, Stefan had helped – really helped. Maybe he was back.

The self-sacrificing part was certainly back. The part where his words, at least, claimed that all he wanted was Elena to be happy, all he wanted was for Elena to have her choice. Stefan had said that, if Elena chose Damon, he would just leave – let them be happy together.

Of course, Damon had said the same thing, but it was a lie. While Damon had been trying to celebrate a victory, Stefan was still obsessing over Elena - who she would choose, what he would do if she chose Damon. Stefan was giving him that self-righteous look of 'see how selfless I am? I would even let her choose you.'

As much as he had helped save Elena, Stefan was still an insufferable martyr.

The worst part was that he would really do it. If Elena wanted Stefan to leave, he would leave. This is the vampire who let Elena turn herself over to Klaus, who left a trail of bodies behind him while "protecting" her. Who regularly fell off the wagon and relied on Lexi or Elena to bring him back.

No matter what he said to Stefan's face, Damon knew he wouldn't leave Elena's safety to his brother. Stefan had strayed too often, let her go to Originals and witches who only wanted to use her. No matter what Elena's choice was, Damon would stay near her, keep safe – from his brother and from herself - one way or another.

Elena probably knew this. Damon knew she had feelings for him – she had done everything but say it to his face. But if she really didn't want to lose either him or Stefan, her only choice was to choose his brother. She probably knew that.

At least Elena was safe for now. She was right when she said that Alaric wouldn't hurt her. Maybe she would be safe as long as the Originals stayed away. But they kept coming back, and having her life tied to Alaric's, who would now be the target of any remaining Originals, was intolerable.

So he would let Stefan fret over Elena's choice and wallow in his self-torment. Sure, Damon would like it more if she chose him. A lot more. Things would change, and he would like the change.

But if she chose Stefan, things would remain the same. Damon would stay as close to Elena as she would let him, and he would save her from Originals, his brother and herself.

* * *

Elena

Bonnie was the last to leave, and that was fine with Elena. She wanted a minute with the friend that had managed to save Jeremy – again.

"Thanks for everything," Elena said as she hugged Bonnie at the door. "I can never repay you for what you've done."

"I'm just sorry I was the one Esther used to finally turn Alaric."

"You didn't have a choice," Elena assured her.

Bonnie just looked into Elena's eyes, remembering what she had said to Damon about his choices hurting people. "I didn't, but Damon did. He chose to save me."

Elena found herself closing her eyes briefly and saying, before she could stop herself, "That's what Damon does. Rick, me…now you. He saved you and you saved Jeremy, again."

"That's what I do," the witch replied. "That and raise the Original Witch, who wanted to use you to destroy her evil creations, including your boyfriends. And Caroline, and my mom …"

Elena pulled Bonnie into a hug as the witch whispered, "I'm so sorry, Elena."

"We didn't know. Now Klaus is gone, and we're all still here."

"All except Alaric," Bonnie said as she pulled herself away from Elena and turned to leave.

Elena watched her friend leave without speaking again, then sighed, closed the door and went upstairs to join Jeremy.

Her brother greeted her with, "Hey. Everyone gone?"

"It's just us," Elena replied.

Jeremy took a few steps toward her before stopping and saying, "I hate this room."

"Me too," she replied as she let a breath escape. She looked at her brother and added, "Sorry you got so upset about Stefan this morning…"

"You know you can't keep doing this, Elena," Jeremy interrupted. "…trying to keep them both."

Elena looked up at him, not wanting to discuss this with him. "You know what they've done for me, for both of us."

"I know I tried to be with Anna and Bonnie, and you ruined it with both of them."

Elena closed her eyes. She had forgotten the incident, but he was right. Still, though she knew she was doing something similar, she wasn't willing to admit it to him.

She didn't have to, he spoke again. "You can't do this forever – you'll lose them both, like I did. So you'll choose, but I think you'll choose the safe one, the easy one. The one who'll smile at you and tell you what you want to hear."

Elena was looking at him again, her head tilted in confusion, as he continued. "He had you all night last night – the dance and after. Even then he had to show up this morning."

"He was just checking on me, Jeremy, on us."

Jeremy snorted. "Sure he was, while Damon was taking care of our guardian. Rose said…" Jeremy shook his head and looked into Elena's eyes. "Remember who you've always trusted."

"I trust them both," Elena said softly.

"Sure you do," he sighed. "You didn't have Stefan 'talk' to me either time when you wanted me to forget, or go away."

Elena bit her lip. "He was still fixated on Klaus. I couldn't trust him to…" She let her voice trail of and had to look away.

"And stop doing that to me!" Jeremy said, the sharpness of his voice bringing Elena's eyes back to his. "It didn't work either time. The ring will protect me."

Elena cringed at the mention of the ring, but bit her lip and nodded. "Just keep vervain on you."

Now Jeremy nodded as well, his face softening, "I will, for as long as you're dating a vampire – or two."

She felt the tension between them slackening, and said, "Maybe Mom and Dad were right. Alaric should just kill all the vampires and put and end to this. But that means Caroline dies, and Bonnie loses her mom, the mayor loses her son, and I lose Stefan and Damon."

She walked to him as she continued, "So if it makes me the bad guy for wanting to keep those people alive, then fine. I'll be the bad guy."

She was right in front of him as he responded, "you forget that Alaric never wanted any of this…"

_You can take it from there…_

_TV Elena still frustrates me, TV Damon is starting to catch up in that regard – is he willing to give up on her so easily? Yet what can I do? The show is what it is…_

_Oh yeah…I can come here and play. And I have to (for now, anyway). Still, for some unexplainable reason, I do not have to play here alone... _


	45. What They Did

_These missing scenes (if that's what they are) begin after the of Season 3 Episode 22, "The Departed"…_

Damon

Damon was absolutely desperate by the time he made it to the hospital. He had no idea how he had done it, but Rick was dead. Which meant Elena would be dying, if not already dead.

It was unfathomable. Rick's taunting had made him recall his first meeting with Elena, and somehow that had given him the will to fight back. So he did. He shouldn't have been able to kill Rick – even the Orginals couldn't do that. But somehow, someway, the vampire/vampire hunting Rick was dead.

Worse, Damon's last act before fighting Rick had been to allow Rebekah to escape. He had managed to save the greatest living threat to Elena, then managed to kill Elena, both in an amazingly short period of time.

And he had thought the night couldn't get any worse after Elena dumped him.

Of course the dumping part was annoying. He had asked for it, insisting she tell him what her choice would be. He kind of deserved what she dished out – prattling on about her feelings for him not mattering because she loved Stefan, she would always love Stefan. Maybe it would be different if she had met Damon first, but …

He knew her love of Stefan was irrelevant – he loved Stefan himself. And he did meet her first, though she would not remember that. Still, he couldn't argue with her just then; Rick had appeared, and someone was going to die.

Now as Meredith was explaining the seriousness of Elena's injuries, as she was telling him that she had 'helped' Elena, he was starting to realize what she was saying. Meredith had 'cheated' with Elena. And, though she didn't say it, Damon knew the source of the vampire blood she used to 'cheat'. She had taken it from him.

Which meant that, now that Rick was dead, now that Elena was going to die; what Elena wanted least, becoming a vampire, was about to happen. And Damon that he was her sire. All Damon could think, as he heard Elena open her eyes and gasp, was "What have I done?"

* * *

Elena

Elena tried to orient herself as she opened her eyes. It took her a few seconds to realize that Stefan was there, instantly by her side. She didn't ignore him intentionally, she just found herself looking around and trying to figure out where she was, how she had gotten there.

She quickly realized she was in the hospital again, but she couldn't remember why.

As she closed her eyes to think, she realized something else. She was hearing things around her that she shouldn't have been able to hear. Things like voices from people who were not Stefan, people not in the room. She felt different, too.

Then she remembered that she was in the truck with Matt. She had seen a flash of Rebekah, then they were in the water. She shuddered as the memory returned, but forced herself to let it come. She knew Stefan was next to her bed, speaking softly, but she was able to push that away.

Though it did help the memory come. Stefan had been in the water with her and Matt. She had convinced him to save Matt, then…

She shuddered again as she realized that it was the last memory before she awoke in the bed. But she was realizing something else – she should be dead. She had died, so she should be dead. But the noises she heard around her, eyes still closed, did not sound anything like they would if she were…well, dead.

She even heard someone out there in the hospital say she had died. Then she put it all together – dead, hospital, awake, hearing too much. Her eyes opened as she realized that she had become a vampire.

Elena found herself looking at Stefan, but did not really see or hear him. She knew what had to happen for her to become a vampire. She had to die – which she remembered all too well; but she also had to have vampire blood in her system.

She had never taken any of Stefan's blood, and Damon hadn't forced his blood on her since Klaus had tried to kill her so long ago. She didn't remember getting vampire blood.

But she was starting to remember some other things – some things Damon had compelled her to forget. She remembered saying something to Damon like that if she had met him before Stefan, maybe she could have chosen him. Now she knew – she remembered meeting Damon before Stefan had saved her. She remembered asking him what he thought she wanted, and that he had gotten her exactly right – consuming love, passion, adventure. Even the part about danger.

Elena closed her eyes again, unable to look at Stefan. She loved Stefan, always would, but she realized that Damon had known exactly what she wanted and had been giving it to her, whenever she would let him.

She remembered something else, too. She remembered that, after one of the times Damon had saved her, he returned her necklace to her and told her that he loved her. She knew it before and after, but that time was different. That time he was returning something to her that she valued greatly, but had lost. That time he used the words, then made her forget.

And she remembered her reaction just as she realized he was compelling her to forget. She had almost been able to say, 'Don't – you can't make this choice for me', but he had compelled her too quickly.

She was changing, she could feel that. But her stomach was turning at another memory. Had she really told Damon that she was letting him go because she loved him? That she didn't want to 'string him along'? Had she remembered something her mother said so long ago about someone completely different, and done that to Damon? Had she really said something about if she met him first, it might have worked.

Now she knew. She did meet him first. Now she knew that he had been giving her what she always wanted all along. Of course, she also knew that he had compelled her – that she would have to deal with; if she hadn't managed to get rid of him.

'Surely he wouldn't be gone', she thought. Surely he would know about the pressure she was under, that she was speaking under duress. Surely he would come to make her say it to his face.

Her last thought, before she opened her eyes as Damon entered the room, was, "What have I done?"

* * *

_OK, OK. I was tired and reacted badly. #stillhuman…_

_Oh wait…that won't work here._

_Sorry, back to myself now. Hopefully not everyone has left me, hopefully I've earned a pass even though I made a mistake. Still human…_

_Though Elena isn't. I'll be bitter about that for awhile…maybe forever. The show will just have to deal…and they've never had a problem dealing with my bitterness towards them._

_I really am a sucker for Delena teasing – then getting my hopes dashed. But I'm not the only one…_

_Thanks for reading this year. Maybe Delena will come next year…(maybe I'll sprout wings and fly to the moon…)_


	46. Choice and Consumption

_This is not really a missing scene…it is more of a visit into Elena's mind during a couple of scenes of Season 4, Episode 1, "Growing Pains"…_

Elena couldn't believe she had put herself in that position – again.

Though it really wasn't intentional on her part, she hadn't been alone with Damon since their trip to Colorado and Kansas. It was easy to ignore her feelings for Damon when he wasn't with her, when they weren't alone together.

When she first awoke after the accident, when she began her transition, she had little time to think about Damon or Stefan. They were there, they talked to her; then Damon left her and Stefan alone for awhile. It was then that she learned she didn't have to actually be with Damon for the feelings to come. The memories that were coming back, the memories Damon had erased, were as vivid as if she were experiencing them for the first time.

Really, they were probably even more vivid. As they unfolded before her, she thought that she was seeing them differently than she would have if she had remembered them after they happened. Her feelings for Damon were much stronger now than when the events had originally occurred. Seeing them now, as if for the first time, was intense. Her previous words about being consumed by Damon were certainly true as her memories returned. As she remembered, it was if she was alone with him again, and she felt consumed by him – by her feelings for him.

So, she should have known better than to follow Damon after she rescued Matt. She should have known better than to force Damon to talk to her. She was trying to set a boundary, to get him to understand that she wanted him to leave Matt alone. She was trying to convey the message that blaming Matt for what had happened to her was going against her wishes, was not respecting her choices. Damon loved her, she knew that, so he should respect her choices.

Stefan certainly respected her choices. She had told Stefan earlier that she appreciated that in him.

But Damon didn't react as she hoped; he made no promises about Matt, he did not acknowledge that her choices were valid. Instead, he made a comment about not being able to keep up with her choices and started walking away from her. His words stung a little; but she wasn't ready to leave the subject alone, so she told him that she remembered what he had made her forget. As she said the words, she began to notice that the feelings she had for him were returning.

He started walking back to her, so she kept talking. For some reason he wouldn't look at her, even when he was right in front of her. He looked away as she described the memory to him, and didn't meet her eyes until she asked him why he hadn't told her about their first meeting.

His words stung again when he asked her if it would have mattered.

She hesitated. How could he ask this of her? She wasn't sure of the answer herself. It had been an eventful day - she hadn't had time to process the memory or what it meant.

He mistook her hesitation for an answer, as a statement that it would not have mattered. His "I didn't think so," stung. This time, she reacted. This time she told him that he had made her choose. She knew it was an accusation, and he treated it that way. He was dismissive, about to leave again.

So she tried once more, she tried to get him to admit that he was upset with her choice because he couldn't let her go. It was what she really believed.

She was so caught up in trying to get her message across, her message that he should respect her choices, that she was caught off guard by his response – his statement that he wanted her to get what she wanted, and that he would do anything to see that she got it.

She shouldn't have been, but Elena was stunned by his intensity. For the first time, she understood all that he had done in the past to try to keep her alive, and to try to keep her human. He had been willing to do anything to protect her. It was easy to believe that it was because he loved her; though it was not so easy to see why, if he loved her, he didn't let her make her own choices. He refused to let her turn herself over to Elijah, refused to let her face Klaus without vampire blood in her. He refused to accept that she was willing to sacrifice herself for her family and friends – including Matt.

Now she understood. He had always said the words, words like "I will always choose you". He called himself selfish for being willing to do anything to allow her to get the life she wanted. She wondered if he was using the word right, but his meaning was clear. She was finally starting to understand him.

And she was, as had so often been the case in the past, being consumed by him. She couldn't take her eyes off of him; and though she was starting to understand some things about him, she couldn't begin to respond. She had no idea how he was able to break away from her eyes and leave her there, watching, as he walked away.

Elena couldn't believe she had put herself in that position again. It took some time for her to gather herself together enough to return to Matt and Stefan.

Later, when she found herself with Stefan - talking about forever, kissing him, and watching the sunrise with him; she thought again about her encounter with Damon. It was nice being with Stefan, it was comfortable. She loved him and he loved her. It was pleasant to sit with him and watch the sun rise.

However, it occurred to Elena that, whatever feelings she had when she was with Stefan – comfort, pleasure, whatever – she did not feel consumed by him.

* * *

_So where is the show now? Bonnie has pushed the envelope one time too many, and is now powerless, Jeremy is not happy about having a vampire sister (which is good – someone besides Damon and me should be bitter about that), Stefan is taking every bone Elena is willing to throw his way (which is a lot, so he probably assumes he's engaged to her now), Elena seems to be oddly fond and accepting of Stefan, now that he is over his recent Ripper stage (who'd have known that killing dozens of people, including people like Andie, would be the way to a girl's heart), and Damon is still Damon. Oh, and there is some Pastor guy who hates vampires – though apparently not because they kill people, seeing as how he is killing all those on his side to raise an army of zombies or something…_

_I will of course, keep watching. Not because of the zombies, but because the writers threw us a Delena bone when Elena was standing there, consumed by Damon, watching him walk away. We know from early season 3 that this will lead to kissing…eventually…_


	47. Letting Go

_This missing scene begins at the end of season 4, episode 2 – Memorial_

"I wish you'd have stayed," Elena told Damon, referring to the Lantern lighting ceremony with her friends that had occurred the night before, "I wish you would have lit a lantern for someone you lost and miss". She had to seek him out to talk to him. Though he would go to her if she asked lately, he didn't seem to be near her unless she asked him to be.

"It was stupid." Damon said, leaning against a tree.

"I needed it, Damon," Elena said. "We all did."

Damon snorted and moved his eyes away from hers. "So you needed it, you got it. Are you ready to fight the vampire hunter now?"

"You need it, too, Damon." Elena told him earnestly. When he didn't respond, didn't even look at her, she continued, "I know you've lost someone that you need to grieve for."

"Are you allowed to be here with me?" He asked, turning sharply towards her. "Stefan's not so happy when I help you."

"He's upset with me, Damon. Not you."

Damon's face didn't soften. "Oh? So what did he do to you? Because, he slugged me."

"He hit you?" She asked, genuinely surprised. "But I asked you to help me."

"Go figure," Damon replied, looking away from her again. "I guess he hasn't gotten over me getting him back into shape so his girl would take him back."

Elena bit her lip and spoke softly. "Don't say that."

He looked back to her. "It's true. That's what I did.

"Look, Damon. I'm sorry I put you in that position."

He glared in reply. "Do you think I care what he thinks – or does? I'll help you with anything."

Elena lowered her eyes while she tried to come up with a response.

Damon reached for her chin and pulled it to bring her eyes to his again. "If you need something from me, ask. Don't worry about what Stefan thinks or says. Helping you get through this is all I've got left.

Elena nodded as he released her chin. "OK, but Damon, let me help you. There must be someone you've lost that you need to grieve for, to let go of."

Damon let a small laugh escape. "Fake funerals are your thing, Elena. Remember? You had one for Vampire Barbie, and one for yourself on the bridge with the quarterback."

"You remember?"

Damon raised his eyebrows and smirked..

She was surprised he would remember, but wasn't ready to give up on him yet; so she continued "But you. You must have someone."

His face turned almost hard again as he replied, "Someone other than you, Elena?"

Elena bit her lip and lowered her eyes.

"I'm not ready to let that go just yet. I'm not ready to let you go."

She looked back into his eyes, but hadn't thought of a response when he spoke again.

"Besides, while you were commiserating with your friends, I spent time with a bottle and Rick."

Elena tilted her head. "Alaric?"

"I told him that I was ticked that he left, that he went away and left me to watch over all of you…" He managed not to say 'children'.

Elena's expression showed him that she understood. "You miss him."

"Yes I do, Elena. Him and you."

Elena felt his intensity, the consumption. She barely managed to whisper, "I'm still here, Damon."

Damon held her eyes and moved his hand to stroke her hair. "You are, but not quite as I wanted. You're a vampire now, I didn't want that. You're transforming and it's hurting you. I didn't want that. You still can't let go of Stefan, and you know I didn't want that."

He hesitated, but she was not able to respond.

"At least you still know which brother to turn to, when you really need help."

He turned, but Elena could not respond. She found herself just watching him as he walked away from her.

* * *

_Oh, Grace Phipps was in the episode. She reminded me of how much I miss The Nine Lives of Chloe King. The stories I wrote about TNLOK – Don't Forget and Possibilities – were, in their day, every bit as popular as Lying to Herself. I really miss Chloe. _

_And I'm glad to see Elena knowing where to turn for real help - and understanding - when she needs it. And with Stefan's reaction, it may not be long before Elena decides that the course taken in The Hope and The Need (as bad as it is) is the way to go..._

_Now, I need to go light a lantern for Chloe…_


	48. Still Hungry

_This missing scene continues the scene between Damon and Elena near the end of Season 4, Episode 3 – The Rager…_

It was taking longer than she would like, but Elena was finally gaining control of herself. Damon didn't back away from her, didn't even stop stroking her hair - but she didn't mind that. It helped her finally quit thinking about what she had done to Matt. One of her greatest fears - that she would come to her senses next to Matt (or Jeremy, or Bonnie), who would be dead because of her – had almost come true. A fear that would have come true, if not for Damon.

As soon as she was sure she could speak reasonably calmly, she said "Thanks for stopping me, Damon."

He pulled his hand back, but stayed in place and kept her eyes. "What can I say? I've got Matt's back."

Elena shook her head. "What are you talking about? I had to knock you away from him just a few days ago, and you said you would have killed him."

Damon glared. "And you almost did kill him, Elena."

Elena grimaced and looked down, before Damon's words lifted her eyes to his again.

"Between you and me, we've got the quarterback covered. Let's just get you taken care of."

Elena nodded again, "Okay."

"Are you still hungry?" Damon asked softly, though his face was still serious.

Elena shook her head. "No. Not right now." Then her desperation returned briefly as she added, "I took too much…"

Damon put a finger to her lips. "He'll be fine."

She closed her eyes to try to gain control of herself again.

"Has Stefan been any help at all with getting you blood other than Matt's?"

"He's trying…" she began, looking at him again.

"He's trying to distract you," Damon interrupted.

Elena hesitated, "Distract?"

"He took you out for 'fun', didn't he?"

Elena tilted her head. "Yeah, so?"

"Was it fun?"

"Yes," she answered slowly, wondering where he was going with this.

"Did he do anything else for your today?"

"Yeah," she said, uncertainly. "He talked me out of trying to kill Rebekah."

Damon shook his head. "I guess I'm not the only one who saves Barbie Klaus. Did I mention how much I regret saving her from Rick-the-Vampire-Hunter?"

Elena shook her head. "He was right Damon. I can't give in to the rage – the guilt would kill me."

Damon snorted. "Saint Stefan."

Elena felt a sudden need to defend him. "And, when we figured out I had werewolf venom in me; he brought Klaus to me, had me drink his blood."

Damon's face became concerned, but it was gone quickly. He managed a smirk as he said "That's Stefan. Slugs me because you drink some of my blood, but he takes Klaus to you to feed from."

"That wasn't it, Damon," Elena said, shaking her head. "He was saving…"

"I know," Damon said, putting his finger to her lips again. "And I'm glad that he did it, and that Klaus did it. But it gives us one more thing in common."

"What?"

"We both had some of Tyler's venom in us, and we both have some of Klaus' blood in us."

Elena lowered her eyes again as she processed this. He was right.

"And after all of Saint Stefan's 'help', you were still hungry enough to kill the quarterback."

She flinched, but Damon pulled her chin up so their eyes would meet again. "No more, Elena. Until you have control of yourself, I'll be with you every time you feed."

She didn't want to say it; but Elena was, again, grateful for and amazed at what Damon was willing to do for her.

* * *

_These little tidbits have the very likely premise that Elena continues to lie to herself about her feelings for Damon. Another, called "The Hope and the Need", has the premise that Elena has accepted her Damon feelings, but is lying to Stefan. Check it out, if you dare (or are bored, or whatever…)_


	49. As She Is

_This missing scene begins after the end of Season 4, Episode 4 – The Five…_

Elena was nervous about calling Damon, but she couldn't put it off any longer. The way she had left things with him was intolerable. She called him as soon as Stefan left her alone.

He didn't answer.

Damon ignoring her calls was happening more often than she would like, and she wasn't sure what to do about it.

She was in the kitchen when she called. She put her phone in a pocket and, still feeling upset about the day's events, left the house through the front door. She was trying to decide where to go when he spoke to her.

"If you're looking for my brother, he's gone back to our house." His back was to her as he leaned against a nearby tree.

"Damon," Elena said, startled. "I..I just called," she stuttered as she walked towards him.

"That was you? I didn't look. I'm not really in the mood to take calls."

"I really am sorry about what I said earlier," she repeated as she reached him.

"Sorry that you don't want to be like me?" Damon asked, turning to face her.

She grimaced but didn't respond.

"You learned to feed without killing, but you hated it." He was scowling.

She lowered her eyes, "You heard."

"Your discussion wasn't quiet, Elena – or inside. Anyone could have heard that."

"Damon…" Elena began.

"And you think Stefan should have showed you how to do that?" Damon interrupted. "Do you know what would have happened if Stefan had been with you? You would have left early and hungry. Or you would have watched him kill somebody – maybe a lot of somebodys, while you tried to stop him. Is that what you really wanted?"

"I didn't want any of this," she responded, sounding desperate. "You know that Damon; you know that as well as, or better than, anyone."

He was no longer scowling, though still serious, when he responded, "I know. But Elena, you're a vampire now, and you know what that means. You told me that, even if you didn't tell Stefan."

"I know, Damon." Her words were earnest. "And you're right. I needed help, and you gave it to me. You did what you said you would, you showed me how to feed and not hurt anyone. I learned to do it – I did it."

"And you drunk your fill by the time we left," Damon said, his face still hard. "You were so full that you were all indignant and judgey. You and the witch."

He turned to leave, but Elena grabbed his arm to turn him around. "Damon, I've already apologized. And you're right. I was full, or satisfied or whatever when we left. I just...I can't lose control of myself like that."

He met her eyes, speaking when she didn't continue. "You mean like me. Do you really think I'm the one who loses control of myself? Or could it be Stefan?"

She looked desperate into the blue eyes that had become almost mocking. "Damon, I know. Please, I just need to figure this out."

"Of course. I'm sure you and Stefan will get it all figured out."

"And you, Damon. You'll still help me, won't you?"

Damon glared into her eyes. "When I help you, when I take you places and show you things, you just say you should have gone with Stefan."

"Damon, I was frustrated. Frustrated and afraid of becoming something I don't want to be, something I never wanted to be."

He snorted. "A vampire."

"A vampire." She repeated. "But you helped me. I really am grateful that you showed me how to feed without killing. You helped me and you'll still help me, won't you?" She sounded a little unsure as she tried to confirm that he would still be there for her.

His face was serious again as he said, "I think you know the answer to that."

Elena nodded. "I know - you will. You always have, no matter what I do or say. You always help me. I know that."

"Me and Stefan – anything you need, though you're not always so willing to ask for his help when you need something you think he might not like."

Elena nodded her agreement. "I know. I guess I'm afraid he'll think less of me, or be upset with what I need. I don't know why I can ask you for help when I can't ask him sometimes."

"I know," Damon said. When Elena tilted her head, showing she didn't understand, he continued, "You know which of us loves you as you are."

He left her standing there; wanting but unable, to say something to defend Stefan. She could only watch him walk away.


	50. What He Always Does

_This missing scene begins after the end of Season 4, Episode 5 – The Killer…_

It wasn't restful, but it was all Elena could think of to do. She was lying in bed, eyes closed, not resting, mind racing. She had no idea what was wrong with her or what she could do to fix it.

She did know that Damon was in her room. She wasn't sure how long he had been there with her, she didn't notice when he arrived, but she knew he was there now. Not that either of them had said anything, but she had told Stefan to stay away, and knew he would. Jeremy would have made noise. Damon was the one with her now.

Her mind was still racing, still wondering what was wrong with her, but it was also wondering if she wanted to send Damon away like she had Stefan. She decided she didn't and said, "I know you're there."

She kept her eyes closed as he said, "I'm not hiding,"

"I told Stefan I wanted to be alone," she said, finally opening her eyes.

She could see him sitting by her window, concerned look on his face as he answered. "So tell me, if that's what you want."

Elena closed her eyes and shook her head. "Something's wrong with me."

"Don't say that," he whispered. She could tell he had risen and was walking towards her, but she kept her eyes closed. "You did what you had to do."

"That's not what I…" she started, then cut herself off and rubbed her head. The guilt was overwhelming.

"I know what happened," Damon continued, speaking softly, "Jeremy would have died because of him. You saved Jeremy just like you saved April – who also would have died because of him."

It took her a few seconds to realize what he was saying, that she had saved them by giving them her blood.

"And he tried to stake me – twice," Elena said, eyes still closed, mostly speaking to herself. "None of that helps. I still killed him."

Damon risked touching her hand, which was still on her forehead as if she had a headache. She found herself opening her eyes as he said, "If you hadn't, I would have – if I hadn't been all vervained and ringless. You did what you had to do."

Elena shook her head and closed her eyes again. "I don't know how I can ever trust Stefan again. A deal with Klaus? How could he do that to us?"

When Damon didn't say anything, she opened her eyes and looked at him. "He knows what Klaus has tried to do to me, and now he's making deals with him?"

She kept her eyes open, but had to look away from Damon as she continued, "And what he did to you…all you do is help me, and he took you out. He took you out and wouldn't let me help."

"But you ignored him," Damon said. "And you weren't even offended when I said you were like me."

"I don't want to be like Stefan," Elena said, shaking her head again. "Lying to me, leaving my brother to die."

"You're not like him, Elena," Damon said, quickly. She could tell he almost said something else, but stopped himself.

"Something really is wrong with me, Damon. I'm having hallucinations again."

"Elena!" he said quickly, sounding concerned. Her eyes followed his to her arms as he added, "Maybe he got you with werewolf venom."

She shook her head as she held her arms up, letting him grasp her wrists as he examined them. "I'm not getting sick. No venom."

"Then what?" he asked, letting her arms go. "I've never heard of guilt hallucinations,"

"I don't know," she said as she leaned back against her pillow. "I don't know what to do."

"Elena," Damon whispered, leaning over her, "We'll figure it out."

She shook her head, "Not Stefan. He wouldn't let me help because this might happen. All he can do now is look at me like I'm about to lose it."

"Ah, your chosen one,." Damon said, a slight mock in his voice. "The one you trust with all of your trials as you go through the transi…"

She sat up so suddenly he almost didn't get out of her way. "Just…don't…rub it in. Ok? This is hard enough."

"You can always reconsider your choice."

Elena was obviously irritated when she asked, "Damon, are you here to be a smartass, or are going to do what you usually do?"

Damon tilted his head, looking a little confused. "What I usually do?"

"Are you going to help me?" She said, her face serious. "I need help. Are you going to help me?"

She watched him move to the other side of the bed and plop down next to her. She had to roll her eyes as he said "Your knight is here, damsel."

She closed her eyes and shook her head as she laid back down, trying keep her face from showing the comfort she felt at knowing she could still depend on him to help her.

* * *

_Oooh…50 chapters. I can't believe it. And so many actually reading this for all that time. Thanks for reading and commenting. It's what make this fun…_

_And where is the show after 50 chapters? Tyler has joined Stefan as a TVD saint (though maybe he'll be a good saint, I don't think he's done the damage Stefan has). Elena is saving person after person by passing her blood out, while taking hardly any in…_

_Oh, and Elena seems to blame Damon for killing (she said "you told me to kill him and I did"). Or maybe she was swearing her loyalty to him – him being her sire and all…_

_Or maybe she'll be human again after all. I could deal…_


	51. Why Damon Does It

_This is a continuation of the Damon and Elena scene which takes place in her bedroom after Damon saves her at the bridge near the end of Season 4, Episode 6 – We All Go A Little Mad Sometimes…_

"There may be a way out of this for you Elena," Damon told her, looking intently into her eyes. "There may be a cure."

She continued to look at him as his words sank in. "Cure?"

Damon nodded. "A cure for vampirism."

Elena forced herself to look away from his intense, blue eyes. They were too distracting.

"A cure," she repeated. "And Stefan knew this?"

"Klaus told him about it," Damon said, "The hunter was supposed to lead him to the cure."

"Klaus," Elena repeated shaking her head.

"Stefan was just following Klaus' orders." Damon finished.

Elena's face turned on him suddenly, "Why are you defending Stefan? It doesn't matter why he lied – look where his lies got us." She lowered her eyes and softly added, "I almost killed myself."

"But you didn't," Damon whispered taking her hand again.

Elena's eyes first went to Damon's hand which was holding her hand, then moved up to his eyes. "Thanks to you."

Damon's curiosity got the best of him. "What did you see? You know, when you were…hallucinating. Was it like the werewolf venom?"

She laughed, just a little. "You mean, did I see you again?" Elena shook her head stiffly. "No. I saw Connor, Katherine and my mother." She let out a breath. "They all told me to kill myself – that I was a monster now."

Damon nodded. "You're no monster. You're still Elena. And you came out of it alive."

"Thanks to you," she repeated.

"And Jeremy," Damon added quickly. "And Bonnie…and Stefan."

Elena closed her eyes and shook her head again. "Don't"

"It's true, Elena," Damon said, eyes fixed on hers, moving his free hand so that both of his hands were holding hers. "You know that. He did it stupidly, but he did it for you."

She looked down for a few seconds, then felt him releasing her hands and rising to leave. She watched him turn from her before asking softly, "Why do you always leave?"

Damon froze briefly, a few steps away from her, his back to her.

He turned to face her when she added, "You save me, like you did today, or you help me, then you bring me home, and leave."

His face was serious as he replied "You didn't used to want me here. You would act upset to see me whenever I came here."

Elena nodded her head and softly replied, "I did. I used to, but not now."

Damon moved to sit by her again. "And Stefan is either here when I bring you home, or he shows up right after."

She nodded as she held his eyes. "So it's Stefan? You help me, then leave because of Stefan?"

He took one of her hands in his again and looked intently into her eyes as he answered, "I help you because you need it. I want you to be healthy and happy. So I help you learn to feed, I try to help you understand what it is to be a vampire. I do everything I can to help you become a vampire."

She nodded, but held his eyes. "I know, and I appreciate it."

"But it's not enough. I can't give you everything you wanted – not now. But I can help you get what you want now - who you want. Who you chose."

She felt consumed by his intensity again. She couldn't respond, but didn't need to. He continued speaking to softly, earnestly.

"It's not about Stefan, Elena, it's about you – it's about what you want. You chose Stefan, and I may not understand it, I may not like it, but if you want Stefan, I will try to give you that. I will help you get blood and hide it from him, if that's what you want. I will take you out feeding, and bring you home to him. I will bring you back here, to him, every time we're out together, but it's not because of him, it's because of what you want."

He rose to leave again, was starting to walk away from her. She was having trouble saying anything at all, but managed to ask, in a soft whisper, "But what if it's not him that I want?"

He stopped again, but did not turn to face her. "Then I hope you'll tell me. And I'll do anything I can to get you what you do want."

Elena found herself lowering her eyes and grimacing as she nodded. It took her a few seconds to get up the nerve, but she finally said, "Damon," as she raised her eyes to meet his.

She closed her eyes again and said no more. He was gone.

* * *

_Oh, will our Delena dreams come true? Based on the past, not so fast…but for a couple of weeks I will hope._

_Maybe these little scenes won't be needed anymore – for awhile at least..._

_(and if these little scenes are disrupted by the show going Delena, then The Hope and the Need is totally screwed. Is it wrong for me to wish for that?)_


	52. What Surrounds us - I mean Them

_This missing scene (or fantasy or tirade or whatever) begins after the end of Season 4, Episode 7 – My Brother's Keeper…_

Elena wasn't really happy to see Stefan waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs of the Salvatore Boarding House, but she didn't flinch as she descended. This was his home more than hers.

"Morning," she said as she started to pass him.

"You need to know something," he said abruptly, reaching for her slightly, but pulling his hand back when she stopped and looked - first at his hand and then into his eyes.

"Do I?" she asked. She wasn't trying to be dismissive, but she had just about had enough of Stefan.

"Yes," he began, satisfied that she was listening. "These feelings you have for Damon aren't what you think."

"Stefan…" she began, but saw that his eyes were earnest. This was different from the way he had been recently. She decided to at least hear him out, though she said, "I haven't really thought them. They're just there."

"You should think about them. They're the reason you do whatever Damon tells you to do."

She shook her head and scowled. "I do not do whatever he says, and what's it to you anyway?"

"Are you sure about that?" Stefan challenged, then he began to repeat some of his conversation with Caroline. "He tells you to kill Connor, and you do. And there was the red dress…"

Elena glared as she cut him off. "What do you know about that?"

He was suddenly silent, but Elena took a furious step towards him. "You've been talking to Caroline about me?"

"Yeah, because even she can see that you're doing whatever Damon says."

"I told April to wear whatever she wanted," Elena countered, "and I killed Connor because he threatened my brother and staked me – twice."

"It's not just that," Stefan continued. "Damon said you had to drink human blood from the vein, and you had to. It's not normal, Elena. He said it and you couldn't drink from an animal or a bag…"

"Or him?" Elena interrupted. "Is that what this is about?"

"No!" Stefan said, quickly holding both of his arms up as if to fend her off. "It's the reason you seem to do whatever he says that we're worried about."

"The reason?" Elena repeated, still angry. "What do you think he did, compel me? Is he an Original now?"

He finally dropped his hands. "No, of course not."

"Then I'm just weak minded? Is that what you think of me?"

"Sired!" Stefan said quickly. "We think you do what he says because he's your sire."

Elena was still scowling as she tilted her head in confusion. "I obey because he's my sire? Do you obey Katherine?"

He shook his head. "No, of course not; but the bond isn't usually so strong. We think you're a special case."

Elena was obviously irritated. "Special. You think I do whatever Damon says – which I don't – and that I have feelings for him because of a 'special' bond with him."

He hesitated as she glared at him, then began, "If you think about it, Elena, it makes sense. This is not the way you're supposed to be."

Her glare intensified. "You and Caroline do not get to decide who I am supposed to be."

"It's not that…" he started.

She didn't let him continue. "Do you have any idea what he's done for me? He was there for me, helping me, every time I asked him to be – even when you asked him to find and help me."

She softened as she thought of Damon and how he had helped her, saved her. Stefan didn't speak, so she continued. "I have a connection with Damon. My feelings for him are stronger than ever, but if his blood is one reason I am connected to him, it's not the only one. I have a connection with him because of what he's done for me, how he's helped me – and not just since my transition began. You have no idea what he had to do for me while you were off with Klaus, how he …" She cut herself off and shook her head. She didn't want to explain any of this to him.

"It doesn't matter why I feel the way I do about him," she finally said. "The feelings are there. This is the way I am now."

Stefan replied softly. "I just think he's taking advantage of your bond with him."

Elena was suddenly agitated again. "Taking advantage of me? Do you have any idea of what he's asked of me, demanded that I do?"

He could see she expected a reply, so he shook his head. "No…"

If he was going to say more, she didn't let him. "Nothing, Stefan. He hasn't made one demand, or even one request of me since my transition began. All he has done is help me, save me, try to make this easier for me. And he's done it while you're off killing people to try to turn Jeremy into a monster…"

Stefan started to look angry himself. "Don't twist what I'm doing. It's to find a cure for you."

"Fine," she spat. "Cure me, but cost me my brother and kill god knows how many people. If you do find a cure, you'd better hope it somehow erases my memory, because if I remember all of this…"

She stopped again and just glared at him a few seconds before continuing. "There was one thing Damon did try to get me to do. He tried to get me to listen to you, to understand why you were lying. I thought he was trying to keep you and me together. Too bad for you that his compulsion, or sireness or whatever, didn't work then."

She finally seemed to be done, so he tried one more time. "You just need to know that things might not be what you think."

"Oh, I know that. But I know what you're doing and what Damon's doing. And now I know what Caroline's doing."

The front door opened, and Damon entered. He looked briefly at Stefan, then turned to Elena, "Are you ready?"

"Yes," she said, going to him and taking his hand. "Let's go."

"It's not over between us, Damon," Stefan called out as they went through the door. Neither turned back.

"What was that about?" Damon asked

Elena shook her head. "I'm sure he'll tell you all about it soon enough."

They were at the door of Damon's car now. As he opened the door for Elena, he thought he heard her mutter, "We're surrounded by idiots…"

* * *

_Somehow I think I'm being played (or Plec-ed or whatever) again. I can't believe they're doing this to us (I also can't decide if Tyler is good or evil), and I doubt Elena will react as she did in my little fantasy above. But maybe she'll surprise._

_And since when is Caroline the fountain of all vampire knowledge?_

_I really need a healthier obsession…_

_(And there is one more TNLOCK person in TVD now...where's Chloe [or Skyler]?)_


	53. Choice

_This is a continuation of the last scene of Season 4, Episode 8 – We'll Always Have Bourbon Street…_

"Does this feel wrong?" Elena tried to read Damon's eyes as she gently put her hand against his face. She looked intently into his eyes, knew she could see what he was thinking, that he agreed with her. But it didn't last. His expression became even more pained when he spoke.

"I can never be sure…"

"I'm sure, Damon," Elena interrupted, dropping her hand from his face, "and you are too. You know this would never have happened if I didn't already have feelings for you."

He pulled his other hand away from her. She let him.

He didn't step back, he held her eyes as he said, "It might be the sire bond. You could be doing all of this because you know I want it."

"Screw the sire bond!" she challenged. "You do what I want – you always have. From going into a house full of tomb vampires to help me save Stefan, to saving me from humiliation when you danced with me. You went to save Caroline the time she was taken by werewolves when I asked you to, you…" She stopped, closed her eyes and shook her head.

He waited until she opened her eyes to say, "I'll never know if you really love me."

"Can anyone ever really know?" she asked in frustration, turning around, putting her back to him.

She was still facing away when she heard him softly respond, "Maybe not."

Elena took in a quick breath and turned to face him again. "I know. Though you tried to compel it away once, everything you said, everything you did told me that you love me." She closed her eyes and shook her head again. "Everything you say, everything you do. I know you love me, Damon; and I know I love you. It's enough - I don't need anymore. I don't want anymore."

His reply was barely above a whisper, "I need to be sure."

"So you would hurt me, Damon?" she asked in a small voice. "I can't remember the last time that I didn't feel safe with you, the last time that I was afraid of what you would do to me. I've always known that whatever you did to anyone else, whatever you said, I was safe with you, that you would never hurt me. But Damon, this would hurt me."

He was still near, but his eyes were averted. They returned to hers when she paused, then Elena continued, "You would take away my choice, my chance to love you?"

"I don't want it any more than you, Elena. I'm not sure I could stay…"

"You really do want to kill me!" she interrupted. She closed her eyes and shook her head again to regain control of herself. "I could see this if you didn't feel the same way about me as I feel about you. If that were true, then fine. Tell me to forget you and send me away. But you do feel the same way about me as I feel about you. This would hurt you every bit as much as it hurt me; more I think. I couldn't stand it when I found out about it. And I would find out. Jeremy always found out when you compelled him."

He had averted his eyes again, so she paused again. When his ice blue eyes returned to meet her eyes, she spoke again - knowing that her voice sounded a little desperate as she said, "There has to be a way, Damon. You could tell Stefan and Caroline that you did it, and..."

"I would slip up, Elena. I would want something totally outrageous, you would give it to me, and they would find out."

"Fine," she spat back. "I don't care about them. Just, don't do this to me. Please."

She realized her eyes were closed again. She opened them tentatively as Damon spoke. "You have no choice now, Elena, and neither do I."

* * *

_I hate it when I see something coming, but ignore it. I hate it when the preferred choice for Elena is all noble and does the (supposedly) right thing despite her standing in front of him and begging him not to. It's not really a new idea, so maybe they will surprise. Maybe this will be one of those chapters of this story (and there are quite a few of them) that doesn't really fit in with the TV story as it progresses._

_I hope that turns out to be true. They're good at showing Damon as shallow and selfish. Surely they can do it one more time…_

_(Still, just in case, there will be an alternative ending to this scene in The Hope and the Need, though I doubt I'll be able to post it for a day or two…)_


	54. Enough

_This missing scene occurs after the end of Season 4, Episode 9 – O Come, All Ye Faithful _…

_As Bonnie and Elena drive away…_

"That sucked for you," Jeremy told Damon as he entered the Lake House.

"Smalltalk?" Damon asked, his face still showing the stress he felt from sending Elena away. "We're making smalltalk?"

"Hey, we're going to be roommates." The Hunter said. "We might as well make the best of it."

"Housemates," the vampire corrected. "Don't think this means I trust you."

"I don't trust you either," Jeremy shot back. "And I think still want to kill you. But you did help my sister. As long as you help her, as long as you protect her, I think I can make myself let you live."

"And I got you back in with your beloved witch."

Jeremy smiled briefly, "Maybe." The smile disappeared as he added, "It still sucked for you, sending Elena away like that."

Damon nodded. "It sucked, but not just for me."

Jeremy nodded. "Like when I lost Bonnie's trust because of a ghost."

Damon smirked briefly. "That was your fault. This was nobody's fault…certainly not Elena's. It's going to kill us both."

Jeremy nodded, then added. "Or make you inseparable."

* * *

_When Stefan ran into Elena the next day (at school?)…_

Elena could tell Stefan was upset when she saw him, though she wasn't sure why. He motioned for her to follow him into an empty classroom. She saw no reason to decline, so she went with him.

"Caroline told me everything." He began, speaking loudly.

"Caroline?" Elena asked, confused. Caroline knew some things that would upset Stefan, but she had promised she would let Elena tell him.

"He never unsired you!" Stefan accused. "He left the bond intact!"

"Stefan…" she began, intending to tell him what Damon had actually done; but he interrupted her.

"And you slept with him!"

This caught her off guard. She felt Caroline's betrayal, but tried to push that away, tried to stay calm as she asked, "Can we just talk about this?"

"What is there to talk about?" Stefan yelled. "How many more ways can you rip my heart out?"

Elena lost her composure. "Of course," she said, shaking her head. "Because you're the only one here with a broken heart. Do you know where Damon is? He's at the Lake House helping my brother, keeping him safe while he's going through this. He ripped his own heart out by telling me I couldn't stay there with them – that I had to leave him."

"What?" Stefan asked, surprised, but not really calming down. "Caroline said …"

"He ripped my heart out at the same time," Elena interrupted. "And he's doing this while you and Caroline are gossiping about something that is none of your business. You sat at my house and told me you couldn't do 'this' anymore. You couldn't stand to watch me get closer to Damon."

Elena was glaring at him now, and Stefan softened at the reminder of their breakup. "I didn't know it was a sire bond then."

Her irritation grew. "It's not the sire bond, Stefan. Do you really think the bond made me a liar? I told the truth when I said I'm getting darker, when I said things were changing between Damon and me."

She had to close her eyes and shake her head to regain control of herself. "The bond affects what I do, not what I feel. I had feelings for Damon before I turned, and I have them now. And right now, I know where Damon is but I literally can not go to him. It's killing me, Stefan, feeling what I feel, but not being able to do anything about it."

Stefan was taken aback. "So he really did it – told you to stay away from him?"

Elena could only nod, eyes closed.

"I know it's hard…" Stefan began

She glared at him. "You know nothing about this. My feelings for Damon are as strong as ever, but I can't…" She cut herself off.

"I didn't want this for you, neither did Caroline." Stefan was speaking softly now.

"Neither did Damon." Elena retorted. "Neither did I. Nobody wanted this, but do you know what the difference is between Damon and me and you and Caroline? The difference is that you and Caroline think of this as something to criticize us for, to gossip about. But I know that this is hurting Damon every bit as much as it's hurting me. Just another thing he and I have in common now."

Stefan hesitated to make sure she was finished, then tried to defend his actions. "I just don't him want to use your bond to get you to do what he wants you to do. I want you to have a choice."

Elena was obviously incredulous. "Use the bond to get me to do what he wants? Stefan, everything I've done, I wanted to do. Everything. He hasn't asked me to do anything. Everything was my choice – until he told me to leave him. If I had a choice, I would go to him right now, but he took that choice away from me, because he didn't want to .."

She shook her head before she could continue, but finally she said, "He said he did it to 'do right' by me and to 'do right' by you. You're the one taking advantage of the sire bond, not Damon."

Stefan tried one more time to defend himself. "This is not who you're supposed to be," he said softly.

Elena softened a little herself, but was tired of the argument. "I get it, Stefan. I'm sired to Damon. His blood saved me. He would have used his blood to save me, to keep me alive anytime and anywhere. And he did. Even though Klaus killed me, Damon's blood saved me. You wouldn't force your blood on me, and you would let me die if I asked. You would have let me go." She knew she looked a little desperate as she looked intently into his eyes. "So why can't you let me go?"

"Elena…"

"He won't touch me now, Stefan," she said quietly. "He barely looks at me now. And he sent me away from him. Haven't you and Caroline done enough?"

She broke eye contact and left the room, leaving him standing alone.

* * *

_Sorry. The episode kind of went as expected, but the preview ticked me off. I'll be good now..._

_I'll be good and inattentive for the break. I'm having some surgery done. Maybe I'll finally have time to finish "Elena and the Pledge" – I did get someone to agree to provide Beta services…_

_Oh yeah … Happy holidays! _


	55. The Extent of the Love (or the Darkness)

_This missing scene occurs after the end of Season 4, Episode 10 – __After School Special_…

Elena drove to the Lake House faster than she had ever done it before. Her mind was racing, it seemed like forever since she had been close to Damon, forever since she had given him a small kiss and left him.

She knew he was just as eager to see her, she was sure of it – until he wasn't waiting to hug and kiss her upon her arrival.

She was out of her car and in the house immediately, calling for him, looking everywhere she could think of. She was almost frantic, when she finally heard his voice at the front door.

"Well you must have driven like a bat out of hell."

She had her arms around him before he finished the statement, and was actually a little relieved when his arms were around her. It had been so long since he was willing to do that.

"I drove like a vamp to her sire," Elena whispered, trying to make a joke. It didn't occur to her that he might not take it as meant it until he flinched a little, but he kept his arms tightly around her.

She was going to try to say something else, something to tell him she had meant it as a joke, but his lips were on hers, and she quit caring.

She had no idea how long had passed before they were sitting on a couch, side by side, but leaning into each other, and Damon was saying, "I guess I'm forgiven for sending you away."

She looked into his eyes as she responded, "I knew what you were doing. I guess I finally convinced you that my feelings are real. All I had to do was tell you that I love you?"

He smirked a little. "You had to tell me twice."

"Whatever it takes," she said softly, pulling him in for another kiss. She managed to say "I love you" just before their lips met.

"I believe you," he whispered when they had separated again.

Elena nodded and let her eyes close for a moment. "Finally. So no more sending me away?"

"No more. You'll have to leave me of your own accord to go back to Stefan now."

Elena grimaced. "Not going to happen. Stefan hates me now."

Her eyes were open, but she was looking away, so Damon reached over to gently pull her chin so she faced him again. "I don't believe that. He's not capable of hating you."

"That's what I thought, but," she had to shake herself to continue, "what Rebekah made me say, right to his face…"

Damon pulled back and almost stood, but stayed seated. "Rebekah?"

Elena nodded. "She's back."

"She hates you." He shook his head. "If I had any idea...but she let you live?"

Elena leaned forward and closed her eyes as she nodded. "It's like when you turned Abby into a vampire to save me. She said it then, and she said it again today – she wants me to live knowing that people I love are hurting because of me."

Damon's arms were around her again as she continued, "She made tell Stefan the truth – that I slept with you because I'm in love with you, that I feel free when I'm with you and feel like a project, like something broken, when I'm with him. It was awful."

When she hesitated, Damon whispered, "You never spared me the truth."

Elena cringed again, but nodded. "You never took it like Stefan. Rebekah made him tell me that what I said hurt. He wouldn't even talk to me when she let us go. He just walked away. He hates me."

"So he didn't actually tell you that?"

She shook her head. "He didn't have to. It was obvious."

Damon laughed a little. "He's just being Stefan the drama queen."

"You didn't see his face."

"I've seen it a lot," Damon said soothingly, "and take my word for it – he doesn't hate you. He hates me, he blames me."

"You didn't even come up. He never said your name."

"I live in his head, Elena," he said. "He still can't believe that you would ever just want me."

She finally pulled back enough to look into his eyes. "But I do. I want you, love you, need you – all of it."

"Hey," Damon said, backing away and putting his arms up as if to surrender. "I believe it, that's why you're here. I'm more concerned about Barbie Klaus being back."

Elena shrugged. "Rebekah wants the cure for some reason, torturing Stefan and me was just her having fun."

"So I'm guessing she's not on team Klaus with the cure."

"No," Elena said, looking at him questioningly, "but neither are we. Klaus just wants me human so he can use my blood."

"At least we know what he wants. Do you know what she wants with it?"

Elena shook her head again.

"Well, it's a matter of choosing between the Original we know, or the Original we don't know."

Elena was confused again. "What are you talking about?"

Damon pulled Elena towards the door. "Come on. We need to go to Jeremy."

Elena's mind immediately went to her bother. She nodded and went with him. "Where is he?"

"You'll see. And I'll see just how much you really do love me."

They were out of the house now, Elena wasn't sure where they were going when she asked, "Damon, you know I love you. What do you mean 'how much'?"

"We'll also see just how much you trust me. Or maybe how dark, how much like me, you've become…"

* * *

_What ho! I'm back. My knee hurts after surgery, but that just shows me that it is still there, and it __will__ get better._

_And, amazingly, the Delena on TVD is only getting stronger, even though every week I wonder if this is the week it will end. May I wonder that for the rest of Season 4, or longer…_


	56. What the Hunter Should Remember

_This missing scene occurs after the end of Season 4, Episode 11 – __Catch Me if You Can_…

It was late when Elena heard Jeremy's voice – so late that it startled her a little.

"What's wrong?" the Hunter asked his sister.

He was in the doorway of her room. She was sitting at the window, sitting where she had seen Damon sit so often.

"Jer," she said, regaining her composure, but remaining seated. "You should be asleep."

"You need rest yourself," he replied. As she nodded, he repeated himself. "What's wrong?"

"Kol," she said softly, looking down. "Rebekah, Stefan. What isn't wrong?"

"You mean Damon," he said flatly.

Elena raised her head suddenly, then lowered it again and shrugged, nodding slightly. "I miss him."

Jeremy nodded as Elena continued, "And the worst part is, when Damon finally let me go to him, to the Lake House, there was no hug or kiss. Just a crisis, an argument, then he was sending me away again."

"The sire bond is strong," Jeremy noted.

Elena shrugged again. "I guess," she began, "but it's not really the bond. I miss him because I love…"

She let her voice trail off and glanced up at him. She wasn't sure what his expression showed, so she said, "But you don't think he loves me."

Jeremy snorted. "I know he loves you." She looked at him curiously as he continued. "He missed you after he sent you away as much as you missed him. He kept listening to his voicemail, he even asked me if I had talked to you."

She smiled a little. "And he's watching out for you."

"Because of you. Because I can help him find the cure for you."

Elena scowled a little as he continued. "Stefan and Caroline say that everything he does is for you. He doesn't care about anybody else."

Elena stood and took a step towards him, her eyes earnest. "Don't listen to them. They're only alive because of Damon."

"Do they know that?" he asked. "They don't have anything good to say about the guy."

"It's easy for them to forget."

Jeremey shook his head. There was still several feet between him and his sister. "Not just them, Elena. You didn't have much good to say about him for a long time."

She looked down. "I know. I just see things clearer now."

"Do you? Because I don't think he has much use for Matt or me, or anyone else. He just does what he thinks you want him to. Everything he does is for you. Everything."

She shook her head, her expression moving to confusion. "What are you saying?"

"I thought you were bonded to him. I thought you were the one who would do anything to make him happy, but it's obvious he'd do anything for you."

She took another step towards him, but stopped. "That doesn't take away from what he's done, Jeremy. It doesn't matter that he saved Caroline to try to keep Klaus from killing me, it doesn't matter that he went with me to save Stefan because I asked. They're still alive because of him, just like I am."

Jeremy was a little taken aback by her words. "Look, I know he does whatever he has to do to help you…"

"And you, Jer," she interrupted. "He helped you get away from Kol. Then while Damon was trying to kill you because he was compelled, he was telling you to get away, telling me to take you away."

Jeremy closed his eyes and drew in a breath. "And when he caught me, he told me to shoot him in the heart with a wooden bullet."

Elena's nodded. "Kol tortured him. Damon stood up to an Original to save you, and gave you a chance to kill him to save you. You need to remember that when…whoever is bad-mouthing him."

Jeremy hesitated. "I wasn't trying to criticize him."

"Good."

Jeremy looked down and took a calming breath. "I mean, I want to do anything I can to help you, too."

"And Damon and I will do whatever we can to help you."

He wasn't sure he should say it, but Jeremy added, "Stefan helped tonight."

Elena scowled. "Stefan wants to hurt Damon and he wants to hurt me." She shook her head at the memory of her encounter with Stefan. "Do you know what it would take to keep a vampire imprisoned without vervain?"

Jeremy shook his head.

"Neither do I, but whatever it was, Stefan did it to Damon. All I want to do right now is go to Damon, and help him get better. But I can't - not while he's compelled."

The brother nodded. "Yeah, I hope you've got a plan for that. I don't know how I'm going to take down an Original."

Elena closed the gap and took hold of his arm. "We'll ask Bonnie. I'm sure she and Shane can figure something out."

"I hope so. I'm not feeling all that good about it."

She pulled him into a hug. "You're inner Hunter is afraid of an Original?"

Jeremy shook his head. "Nope. The Hunter wants to kill him." He took a step back from her. "It wants to kill you, too. It's the part of me that is controlling the Hunter that's worried."

Elena's brow furrowed, and she pointed towards the door. "Yeah, before you lose control, I'm sending you back to bed. You need some sleep. I'll keep watch."

"You mean you'll stress about Damon," he grumbled as he left.

"Yeah," she said as Jeremy left the room. "I'll keep watch, and stress. And think about when I see him again - and we'll have nothing to argue about."

* * *

_Delena intact, though a bit strained (kind of like my knee). And Stefan is sort of helping strengthen the Delena. He really is a twerp..._

_Stelena people must be besides themselves..._


	57. What They Fear

_This missing scene occurs after the end of Season 4, Episode 12 – __A View to Kill_…

It took longer than Elena hoped – longer for her to be alone with Damon. Eventually Stefan left to do whatever – if he said, she didn't hear. Jeremy and Bonnie went somewhere else to try to get a little sleep before they would have to leave. After what had seemed like forever, Damon was sitting on a couch near the fire, and her head was laying on his lap as he stroked her hair.

Still, she found her mind going back to earlier. Back to when, after days of separation or, if she and Damon were together, tension; she finally had her arms around him, they had their arms around each other and were looking into each others' eyes – only to be interrupted by Stefan coming through the door. Stefan being a jerk to her, Stefan defending Rebekah.

She knew that this moment she was having with Damon would be much too brief, and she didn't want to spend any of it talking about Stefan; but she thought it might be the only way to get him off of her mind.

"I can't believe you hit Stefan," she said. She was looking into the fire, enjoying the feeling of Damon's hand as it moved on her hair, her cheek, her neck.

"Can you believe he was being a dick?" Damon asked.

"I know," she said quietly. "I hoped for better from him, expected more of him. I hoped he would be more like Matt, still be a friend. But he's just…" She sighed and added, "You never acted the way Stefan's acting just because I was with him and you wanted me."

Damon smirked. "Glad you noticed. I'm not, nor was I ever, like Saint Stefan."

"It's hard to miss," she said, leaving her head on his lap but turning it to look into his eyes. "Not that he wants me anymore. He just wants to be jerk to both of us."

"Oh, he wants you," Damon countered. "That hasn't changed."

She sat up and faced him. "Damon, he told me to my face that he's not in love with me now."

Damon snorted. "So? Didn't he say something like that in Chicago when he was trying to keep you from following him, trying to keep you away from Klaus?"

She looked down, then leaned against him. "He didn't mention love then."

Damon's smirk got bigger. "So he's upped the ante. He still loves you. He only wants the cure because he hopes it will make you realize the error of your vampire ways, because it will make you want him back."

Elena shook her head. "Well, that's not going to happen."

Damon shrugged but did not speak.

"Damon, you believe me, right? The way he's acting now, why would I ever go back to him?"

"It's not like I don't come with baggage, Elena," Damon said, remembering what Klaus had said to him.

She pulled him into a hug. "And you think Stefan doesn't? I know a lot more about who he is, what he's done, than I used to."

He didn't return the hug, in fact he pulled back and stared at her a few seconds before speaking. "I used to think I wanted you any way I could get you. I was so tempted to just rip off your necklace and compel you."

"But you didn't," she said, looking earnestly into his eyes. "And even when I didn't have the necklace, you didn't compel me. You only compelled me to forget when you told me that you loved me."

"I didn't think you wanted to hear it."

"But you showed me, Damon. And I knew it."

He turned from her to look into the fire. "It didn't matter. You still chose Stefan."

She moved to kneel in front him. "Damon, no. I see things more clearly now. Even the cure. Don't you think I see what Stefan wants with it and what you want with it?"

He looked into her eyes, though his face remained firm. "We both want it for you."

She shook her head. "He wants it because he thinks that if I'm human, I will want him again. You don't care if I'm human or not. You want it because I want it. He wants it for him, you want it for me. I know the difference, Damon."

He looked past her, to the fire, again. "But what if he's right? What if making you human…"

When he didn't continue, she stood and pulled his chin so he was looking into her eyes again. "Where's that Salvatore optimism?"

He didn't even show the slightest hint of amusement at her reference to what he had said to Jeremy earlier.

She sat next to him and snuggled up to him again. "Is that what you're afraid of?" she asked softly.

Damon nodded, still staring into the fire.

"But you still want me to have the cure, Damon. You would still do anything, risk anything, to get me what I want."

He shrugged again, though at least he turned to face her. "I'm not afraid of much, but having you, then losing you is…"

"You won't," she reassured.

"You can't know that."

"Because of the bond." She said flatly.

Damon nodded.

She hesitated briefly, then looked into his eyes and asked, "Do you know what I'm afraid of, Damon?"

"Losing Jeremy?" he guessed.

She shook her head. "No, not with you, Bonnie and me looking after him. I'm afraid of losing what I feel for you. I have never felt this way about anyone – not Stefan, not Matt. I didn't even know it was possible to feel this strongly about someone. And though I know I had feelings for you before, I'm afraid that part of it is the heightened emotions of becoming a vampire. I'm afraid that part of it is the sire bond. I'm scared to death that something will happen, the cure or something else, and that I'll never feel this way about you, about anyone, again."

Damon hesitated, then noted "But you still want the cure,"

Elena sighed, and nodded slightly. "I want the cure, but I don't want to lose these feelings. I don't want to lose you."

He snorted. "You won't lose me. The question is if I'll lose you."

She snuggled up to him. "You won't," she said, but it was a only a whisper.

Damon didn't respond. He just hugged her.


	58. The Bond and the Resolve

_This isn't really a missing scene, more a visit into Elena's head while she is with Stefan and Rebekah after the end of Season 4, Episode 13 – __Into the Wild__…_

For the first time since she learned of the sire bond, Elena thought it might be affecting her – affecting what she thought, what she was doing. Oh, she knew that a time or two, Damon had expressly told her to go somewhere and she had gone. She knew it was the sire bond then. But in everything else, he had given her choice. She was sure her actions, her feelings, were hers. At least she was sure until now.

She thought that she knew Damon as well as anyone, but sometimes he surprised her. Really, his ability to surprise her was something she loved about him. Not that his distrust of Shane was a surprise – she had know that about him from almost the time they had met Shane. It wasn't too surprising that she had to pull Damon off of the professor, either. It was not something she liked about her sire, but it was something she had to do from time to time.

The surprise came when Damon told her that he didn't want her to take the cure.

He had done so much to find the cure, to get her to the cure. What was she supposed to think, other than that he wanted her to be human again? He loved her while she was human, she was sure he would still love her as a human. She had no doubts about that.

So it was a surprise to her that he didn't want her to go back to being human, that he wanted her as a vampire. It probably shouldn't have been a surprise. When others were criticizing her choices after she became a vampire, Damon told that he had never seen her so alive.

It bothered Elena that she knew Damon so well, that she loved him as much as he loved her, but she hadn't figured this out. She knew he had doubts about what she would do after she was cured, she knew others were saying things to him. She knew the doubts were getting stronger as they got closer to the cure, but she was doing all she could to reassure him.

He had his doubts about Elena and the cure, but she never thought he didn't want her to have it. Of course, Damon knew that she wanted it, so he never said he didn't want her to have it. He did all he could to make sure she got it, that she got what she wanted. She realized now that it was just another sign that he was willing to do anything, risk anything, to give her what she wanted.

But that wasn't the only time Damon surprised her tonight. After telling her he didn't want her to take the cure, after she asked him to take it and be human with her, he said he didn't want to be human. He admitted he wanted it at one time, but now he thought of it as 'miserable'.

She didn't know what to think. She briefly wondered if this was his way of letting her go, of setting her free; his way of breaking the sire bond. Telling her that she and he did not work, telling her that he didn't want to be human.

Stefan wanted to be human. It really wasn't a surprise when he said that being a vampire was miserable. Again, she noted the difference between Damon and Stefan – he wanted to take the cure himself, Damon wanted her to be able to take it, because he wanted her to have what she wanted.

If this was his way of sending her away, it wouldn't work. In fact, she was starting to wonder if he was right about being human. Any inner turmoil she felt from turning had to do with what others were saying to her. The criticisms, the insults. But she was getting through her transition, with the help of Damon.

Now she was starting to have doubts about taking the cure herself. She wondered if it was the sire bond and its supposed forcing of her to try to please Damon, to do what he wanted; but she was wondering if it would be such a good idea for her to go back to being human. Would Klaus really be gone? Would Jeremy be any better off?

But that wasn't her real worry. She was disgusted with herself that she had let Damon say what he said, then leave – like she agreed with him, like she was giving up on him. She wasn't sure she had a choice – Jeremy, Bonnie and Shane were gone. She couldn't just leave them (though she was starting to think Damon might be right about Shane). She thought Damon hadn't really just left everything either; that with or without her, he was still looking for the cure.

Though right then she was with Stefan and Rebekah, neither of whom she really understood any more; she knew she would see Damon again soon, one way or another. She also knew Damon still loved her. His every word, every action – even the despair on his face when he told her that he didn't want her to take the cure, didn't want to be human himself – told her that he loved her.

And she resolved that, when she was with him again, she would find a way to show that she loved him just as much - that she was willing to give him just as much as he was willing to give her.

* * *

_I must admit that, although I didn't think much of the sire bond at first, I kind of like it now. It might just work out…or maybe I'm a Delena fool._

_It also seems to me that more of these little scenes are being blatantly contradicted by what happens on TV the next week than have been in the past._

_I have no idea where Elena's head is right now, but I suppose that is the real fun of this._

_Really, if I was able to write the TV stuff, it would not be nearly as good…_

_Not that I'll stop doing what I'm doing here. Nope. If that is your wish, time for you to go somewhere else… _


	59. What He Still Wants for Her

_These brief mind-reading sessions begin during and after the end Season 4, Episode 14 – __Down The Rabbit Hole__…_

Damon

At least Damon was able to see Elena one last time.

Not that he wouldn't see her fairly often after she took the cure, but he was sure she wouldn't be the same person when she returned to being human. At least he got to see her hesitate while Stefan was trying to get her to leave after they found him. He saw her hesitate as his brother tried to send her on, hesitate until Damon managed to say "yeah" under his breath.

Not that he wanted her to go. He didn't want her to be sired to him, either, didn't want her to have to do what he said. Her constant disagreements with him, her belief in others that he didn't care about - this is what made her who she was. He wanted her to have total freedom from him again, but he was still glad to see her resist what Stefan was telling her, to have her listen to him.

Elena did what she always did when he told her to leave him - she grimaced as she resisted, though only briefly. Well, once she had kissed him before leaving, but the situation since then was so stressful that it hadn't happened since - not at the times he told her to leave.

Actually, he knew kissing her at all in the future was not likely to happen. He was coming to terms with that. He had decided to give her the cure she wanted so badly, and he had done all he could to get it for her.

She said she would still love him, and maybe she would, but that was a best-case scenario. Best-case and unlikely. But to give her the life she wanted was something he was willing to do before she had turned, and he was willing to give it to her now - even if her leaving him for Stefan or anyone else was the price. He had decided that long ago, and, though it was hard to actually do it, it was still true now.

So it was kind of nice to have her hesitate while Stefan was telling her to leave, to consider him over the brother that had been such a dick to both of them. Telling her to leave him one more time had been hard, but Damon was willing to do it.

The really annoying part was when Stefan argued with him about going to help her. Damon knew he wasn't strong enough to help her yet, but Stefan was, and having Stefan argue with him about who would be "the one" to be with her was annoying and idiotic. She needed help, Stefan was able, he needed to just leave. Having to prove to his brother that Damon loved her enough to let her leave him was maddening, especially while she needed help. At least Stefan finally did it.

And now, after fighting with his brother one more time, after helping Rebekah recover from the Hunter attack, he had to listen to the Original jabber on about him doing something selfless. Had she forgotten him telling her to leave while he faced Rick the Vampire Hunter?

He regretted saving her after he had done it, though he supposed he owed her his help just now - she had saved him from Vaughn the Vampire Hunter. He owed her, she had been paid. Now all Damon wanted to do was recover enough to find Elena and make sure she got the cure she wanted so much.

* * *

Elena

Elena couldn't stand it when Damon did this to her - sent her away from him. She understood the reason, and she understood that they needed to find Jeremy and Bonnie as well as the cure; but it was so hard to leave her sire, especially since he was hurt.

She felt a little better about Stefan now, and a little worse about Rebekah. The Original had betrayed them both, and she felt a little bit of satisfaction that Stefan had received some of the Original's betrayal this time.

She felt a little better about Stefan, she was happy to be on her way to find Jeremy and Bonnie, but she was upset to have to leave Damon. The vision of him walking away from her so recently was still fresh in her mind, and it killed her that she hadn't had a chance to fix things with him yet.

Then Katherine had shown up, disabled her, and taken off. She had no idea what her ancestor was doing here, but she was sure that Katherine was not playing nice. Katherine wanted something, and since the only thing that was here was the cure, she was probably after that.

It was another betrayal. It wasn't that she trusted Katherine, but the older vampire had helped Damon and Stefan keep Elena safe a couple of times. They were at least both anti-Klaus, but all Elena could think of was that her brother and best friend were going to the cure, and they shouldn't have to deal with Katherine as well.

Well, that was all she could think of other than Damon. He was hurt, needed help, but had sent her away.

So she had to rely on Stefan again - Stefan who had been a jerk to her, Stefan who was hanging around Rebekah to punish her. Stefan, who at least knew that the cure had to be forced on Klaus.

A lot ran through her mind as she ran with Stefan to find Jeremy and Bonnie, to get to the cure - why did Katherine really want the cure? If they managed to get Klaus to take it, would it have the same effect as the White Oak Stakes - cure all of his vampire family? If he was killed as a human, would she and the others survive? Was Stefan finally back on her side? Why had she been so trusting of Shane, even when Damon wasn't.

Mostly, though, she was thinking of Damon as she and Stefan arrived in the chamber, but her mind quickly shifted. Not to the unknown body on the ground, nor to the stirring figure on some kind of table or platform; not even to her best friend, who was also lying there, hurt but breathing. Her mind shifted to her brother, who was lying there looking dead.

* * *

_For some reason, the Caroline/Tyler moments did not have the effect on me that the TV people wanted. Seriously, Tyroline or Caroler (or whatever) is…ugh. Damon walking away from Elena has more sizzle …is much more appealing to me. Maybe I just hate her…_

_Great. Now I've done it. I was so good for so long…_

_Oh, and I have been in love with Sydney Sage for some time. __The Indigo Spell__ just forced me to update my status to 'madly in love'. So I took a brief Delena break to start a __Bloodlines__ story, which I will continue… _

_Not that I'm done here…you and Julie Plec are not __that__ lucky…_


	60. The Important

_These…uh…whatever (I don't know what to call them anymore) occur during the last scene of Season 4, Episode 15 – __Stand By Me__…_

Elena

It's not that Elena had forgotten – she remembered everything. She remembered the completion of Jeremy's hunter's mark. She remembered the tense time on the island. She remembered finding Jeremy's body, and taking it back to Mystic Falls. She remembered the hope she had put into what Bonnie could do, and the maddening delay before her best friend returned. She remembered her reaction to Bonnie's plan, when the witch finally arrived. And she remembered her final breakdown before Damon talked to her, told her to shut her humanity off.

She had forgotten nothing, she just didn't know why she had cared.

Oh, she knew that Jeremy's death was something to be unhappy with, but it was not worthy of a breakdown. It required revenge, and she would find a way to take it - on Silas, Shane – whoever she could find and blame.

Or maybe she wouldn't. She wondered why Bonnie's plan had upset her so much before. She understood now, it could bring back Jeremy, Bonnie's grams, and so many others. She had always trusted Bonnie to do the right thing, and she wasn't sure why she had doubted her best friend this time.

But that was for tomorrow, tonight they had to have a cover story. She understood that, and she knew she had most reasonable one. The only one, really. Even Damon agreed with her. Oh, he said something like "we can come up with another cover story", but he didn't argue when she said hers was best. He didn't offer any others anyway.

She knew he could have stopped her, invoked the bond again, but he didn't. He let her choose. He nearly always let her choose, and she knew he always would. It didn't matter what Stefan or Caroline thought, they would never believe or understand the connection she and Damon had. He didn't want her as his slave – he could have had that while she was human, if it was what he wanted. He wanted her to be free of his influence, he would always let her choose.

She understood what he was doing and why every time he invoked the sire bond, even this last time. She remembered her breakdown, even if she could not understand why it happened now. She knew Damon was helping her, and even if she understood nothing else about what she felt before, she knew that she and Damon still had a bond. She still had the feelings for him. That hadn't changed and never would.

As she walked out of her home one last time, Damon walked beside her. She knew it would always be this way. Whatever cover-ups, revenge, or witch's spells were ahead, Damon would be with her.

* * *

Damon

Damon couldn't help feeling that he had let Elena down, again.

She was alive, at least, but she had lost the last family she had left. It tormented him some - before he found Bonnie. It was completely out of his mind by the time he had taken the witch back to Mystic Falls. Even he could see that her plan was crazy.

Elena had reacted as he expected. Bonnie was sent away, and Elena broke down. He hoped it wouldn't happen, but she lost hope. All her hope was in the witch, and he had nothing else to offer her.

Still, though things may have changed for Elena, for Stefan, for Matt and maybe even for Bonnie, they didn't change for Damon. This was a different Elena, but she was still Elena. It didn't matter that she had no humanity now, any more than it matted that she had become a vampire. Damon would still do everything he could for her.

She had always been protected, by Damon, by Stefan, by Bonnie, even Caroline. They would still protect her, there was just another level to be added now. Sooner or later, Damon would have Elena switch her humanity back on. Her humanity was a big part of who she was, and he loved everything about Elena. So he had to make sure that when her humanity was restored, she wouldn't hate herself. He had to make sure she wouldn't do something she would later regret so much she would need to flip the switch again.

Stefan and Caroline would help, of course. If they agreed with nothing else he thought about Elena, they would want to help keep her in check. He wouldn't be alone, not with this.

As Damon left the Gilbert house with Elena, he noticed that Stefan had stopped and turned back. Typical Stefan, looking back to see what was lost, what was past. Maybe the past was all his brother had now – especially in regards to Elena, but it still annoyed Damon. It was Elena who was important. It was Elena who was walking right beside him. He had to remember who she was, though she may have forgotten for now.

Damon let Stefan worry about the past. Stefan could lag behind, fret over what was lost. Damon was going to stay with Elena.


	61. Feeling

_This missing scene starts after the last scene of Season 4, Episode 16 – __Bring it On__…_

Damon's mind raced as he drove. He had trouble believing that Elena was with him. The girl he had been in love with for so long, the girl he had wanted almost since he met her, was with him. Apparently, there was no sire bond, and though she was manipulating and fighting with everyone else, she was still with him, still talking to him.

Damon had trouble believing that he had Elena all to himself, and he had trouble believing that he wasn't sure he wanted her this way.

"You never admitted it," Elena said, bringing him out of his thoughts. They had been driving in comfortable silence for awhile, and he was not sure what she meant.

"Hmm?" he asked as he turned to look at her briefly.

"You never admitted that you like me better like this," she clarified.

Damon turned his face back to the road as he thought. Did he prefer her like this? He really wasn't sure.

"Damon?" Elena said. She was demanding an answer.

"There's no 'better' with you, Elena," he said. "I like you no matter what you're like."

He was able to see her well enough that he saw her tilt her head as if she didn't understand. He spoke before she could object.

"I'm just worried about you, what you want to be like."

"I want to be like this, Damon," she said.

"Not feeling anything," he noted, with a bit of a sigh.

Elena shook her head. "I told you, Damon. I feel amazing."

"But you feel nothing for me."

Elena looked confused again, but only for a second. "That's not right, Damon. I do feel something for you." She hesitated as if trying to think before continuing. "It's just…it's different now."

He looked at her again as he asked, "So what is it? What do you 'feel' for me?"

"I want to be with you," she said.

When she said no more, he turned back to the road and asked, "Why?"

Elena shrugged. "Does it matter? You understand me, you don't judge me. You don't want to change me. You're like me."

Damon just faced the road, though he nodded slightly.

"The bond wasn't that big a deal, Damon," she continued. "Yeah, I had strong feelings for you, but I always had feelings for you. Stefan and Caroline don't understand that the bond wasn't the only reason I wanted to be with you. I still want to be with you."

"For how long?" Damon asked softly as he stared ahead.

She was confused again, and answered slowly. "Always, Damon. We'll live forever. You'll always be like me, I'll always want to be with you."

"I'm not like you, Elena." He couldn't believe he was saying it, but it was true.

She shook her head again. "Of course you are, Damon. I understand now – what you said to me about what a vampire is. I understand the things you did. You're exactly like me."

He shook his head. "My humanity's not off."

She stared at him for a few seconds before she turned to look out her side window. "I don't want it back. I don't need it."

He waited a few minutes, letting her think, before he said, "Do you know why my humanity's on?"

She shook her head, though she knew he might not see it. "No," she said softly, still facing away from him. "I don't know why you would give this…this freedom, up."

"Because of you," he replied. "Because I wanted to feel something for you."

She didn't respond immediately, but he said no more. Finally she said, "Mostly I imagine you felt pain."

"Mostly," he said. "but not lately. Lately, I was mostly happy. You were happy too, until you turned it off."

She sighed and turned to face him again. "You told me to turn it off. You were right, the pain would have killed me. Without it, I feel amazing."

"Pain goes away, Elena. Yours will, too. You may want to turn your humanity back on again sometime."

She shook her head. "I won't. This feels good. I understand what you said about being human and being miserable."

"'This' gets boring," Damon replied. "Someday, you'll want to feel again. You need to be careful."

Elena released an exasperated breath. "Now you're just like Stefan." She made a mocking imitation of his voice as she said, 'Oh, I've killed hundreds of people. Now I have to live with it. You don't want to be like me'.

"You don't want to be like him," Damon said.

"No, I don't. So I'm going to leave it off. I'm going to be like you."

"My humanity's not off, Elena," Damon repeated.

He could feel her staring at him as he continued, "You can have humanity, you can feel, without being like Stefan."

"Still trying to turn me into a 'super-vampire'?" she asked.

That made him smile a little. "I've showed you how to do it," Damon said, "how to feed and leave the person alive. How to live as a vampire without feeling guilt for who you are."

"I don't want to feel," she said softly, still looking at him. "I can't…" She sounded like she would continue, but didn't.

"Someday you will," he said. "But for now, you're starving. For now, we go to where there's no vervain."

She almost looked like she was smiling as she said, "New York. Just to feed?"

Damon laughed as he shook his head. "Not just to feed. To see what's there."

"What's there." she repeated. "What is there, Damon?"

"Everything. You can truly see what it is to be a vampire."

"Everything," she repeated. Damon thought she looked as close to happy as she had since she flipped the switch.

"Maybe you'll even find a reason to feel again."

He said it softly, but she heard. He could see her roll her eyes, though she still looked happy.


	62. Protection and Aversion

_This visit into the minds of Elena and Damon begins after the end of Season 4, Episode 17, Because the Night..._

Elena

"I wish this could have gone differently," Elena had told Damon as she left in his car with Rebekah, "I really do."

And she really did, she did wish it. Despite his current disagreements with her, despite his attempts at manipulation, she still wanted to be with him.

Despite his denials, she knew he was just like she was now. Nearly everything he said showed it. Certainly his telling of how manipulated Lexi was evidence of it, his reactions when Lexi returned to Mystic Falls. What was she supposed to think? She had tried to talk to him about it, but he wouldn't listen.

She didn't trust Rebekah, she had been betrayed by the Original too often. But now it seemed they were on the same side – she didn't want the cure, but Rebekah did, or said she did. Elena didn't understand why the blond vampire would want to be cured – it made no sense to her, so she really couldn't completely trust the Original. And really, Elena hadn't been able to handle Damon on her own – Rebekah had to come to her aid.

So Elena couldn't trust Rebekah, but she could work with the Original to get the cure – get the cure and keep it from herself.

The only bad thing in all of this was leaving Damon, but she knew Damon well enough to know that he would find her again. That was one thing Damon had always done, something he always would do.

And when Damon did find her, things would be different. There would be no cure to fight over, there would be no reason for him to try to force it on her. Then he would see what she could see now, that they were exactly alike. He would see that she and Damon should be together.

* * *

Damon

Damon had failed Elena before, but this time seemed like the worst. His failure was complete. She was with an Original who hated her, going to Katherine. Katherine, who would do anything she had to do to get what she wanted – to the point of sacrificing Jeremy. Elena was going to Katherine, whose actions had led to him forcing Elena to "flip the switch".

Damon had failed Elena, though she wouldn't see it that way. The way she was now, she only saw him as an impediment, something in her way. She couldn't understand that she might someday want to flip the switch again, that she might someday want her humanity back. She couldn't believe that, no matter how often he told her.

He understood her attitude. He had been there himself. It had taken something remarkable for him to want to turn his humanity back on. She never knew what it took for him to do that for her, never appreciated it. And, it appeared to him, that, despite her claims to always love him, he couldn't get her to turn her humanity back on for him.

At least he couldn't get her to do it for him yet. He wasn't giving up on her.

He still loved her, still wanted her. That fact that she wasn't fooled by his attempts to manipulate her only made him respect her more, want her more. It only proved how remarkable she was - the opposite of Stefan's Lexi.

So he had to find her again, had to keep her from doing something she would regret. He had to get his car back anyway.

And at the same time, he had to somehow avert the apocalypse that Stefan had let happen. He had to save his brother, Caroline and Bonnie so that if he ever did get Elena to turn her humanity back on, she would want to keep it.

All of this for a girl who, for now anyway, only thought of him as an impediment. Would he have done the same for Katherine? For anyone else?

Damon didn't think about that for very long, it didn't matter. He was still alive, and so was Elena; and since they were both alive, he would do what he had always done since he came to care about her. He would find her and protect her – and somehow avert an apocalypse in the process.

* * *

_Oooh, Caroline is now a mass murderer, as well as an Elena-betrayer and judger. No wonder Stefan's always talking to her – they are as alike as Elena and Damon…(not that we want to see Stefan/Caroline smoochies -__ please__ no…please have __some__ pity for us…)_


	63. The Time that Tells

_This missing scene begins after the end of Season 4 Episode 18, __American Gothic__…_

"What do you want, Damon?" Elena asked. He had caught up with her outside, right after she killed a waitress. She was still walking away, her back to him.

"You know what I want," he said, moving to walk beside her.

She stopped and looked at him. "I told you, I'm done talking about it. I'm not listening to Stefan's 'you didn't give up on me' speech anymore. Consequences. "

Damon's face was serious as he responded, "Stefan's an idiot. You're nothing like him."

She continued to look at him, though she tilted her head as if confused.

Damon held his hands up like he was surrendering. "You're right. I like you better this way. I don't really want you to take the cure, anyway."

Her face hardened. "Then you need to quit bringing it up."

"Out of our hands," he said, lowering his arms.

She hesitated briefly before she asked, "And you really like me better this way?" Her voice showed she wasn't sure she believed him.

"You said it," he confirmed. "I'm just admitting it."

She turned and started walking again, though she noticed that he kept up with her, walked with her.

"I'll do what I said I would Damon," Elena said. "Anytime you try to 'fix' me."

"I know," he said. "I believe you."

They walked in silence briefly, before she said, "You don't have the influence you used to have over me now."

Damon snorted, "Yeah. That I know. That I've learned."

She stopped and turned on him again. "So why are you here? I don't need you. I thought I did, I knew you were more like me than anyone else; so I listened to you, I thought you understood me. But I learned in New York that all you want to do is change me."

Damon's brow furrowed as she continued. "You were willing to risk so much to give me what I wanted, even if it meant you would lose me. Isn't that right?"

He nodded slowly. "Yes."

"Congratulations, Damon," she said, with a bit of a smirk. "I have what I want – I am what I want to be. You gave me what I wanted, even if it's not what either of us thought."

Damon opened his mouth to try to say something, but he quickly closed it again. He had no response to that.

"I don't 'want' to kill people, Damon, but I want you guys to let me be me. I'll do whatever gets your attention whenever I think that you don't understand."

Damon nodded. "I get that."

He wasn't sure he should ask, but he was sure it couldn't get any worse for him. "And me? I mean, did I lose you?"

Elena had a full blown smirk. "Are you like me now?" she asked. When he didn't immediately respond, she turned and started walking again, saying "Time will tell."

He let her walk away from him.

* * *

_Well, Elena is not what we're used to, and things don't look so good for Damon (especially given the previews). But that's the game, and I'm here to play the game._

_Anyway, we know from experience that things will change a lot in the last 4 episodes._

_If worse come to worst, I can always spend my time with the Doctor and Clara Oswin Oswald. I've been spending a fair amount of time with them the last few weeks anyway. Really, Clara and Elena are quite similar – both have long dark hair, both have dark eyes, both twice dead…_


	64. Not Yet Time o Test

_This missing scene begins after the end of Season 4 Episode 21, __She's Come Undone__…_

"Are you here to try to talk me out of it?" Elena asked, her back to Damon as he entered the bedroom.

She had just showered and was sitting on the bed, brushing her hair. She looked so normal, so much like she had when human, like she had when she was a vampire - before she had turned her emotions off. Just watching her, it would have been easy to think she was the old Elena. Hearing her, he knew she was different.

There was no way to know where he stood with her, not in her current state of mind. He was a little relieved when she didn't object as he sat on the same side of the bed as her, not quite next to her, but close enough to touch her. She didn't look at him, she just stared straight ahead of her as she continued brushing.

"No," he said softly.

When he didn't say any more for a few seconds, she put the brush on the bed next to her, between them, and turned to face him. Her expression was still angry, agitated. "You know I'm right."

He shrugged a little, and her face hardened. "You've tried to kill her yourself," she challenged.

"I did," he answered, hardening his face himself. "Stefan and I did, and do you remember what happened? Everything we did to her hurt you. It took her witch turning on her for us to take her down."

Her expression didn't change, though she started shaking her head a little.

"Even then you ended up hurt, alone and kidnapped…"

"I don't care," she interrupted. "So it'll be hard, she's not getting away this time."

"She's helped you before…" Damon began.

"She's never done anything but try to help herself," Elena interrupted. "She's screwed us all."

Damon made his face go blank as he looked at her. This was an improvement over the Elena she had been just a few hours earlier, and he could understand the anger, the revenge. But she still wasn't quite the Elena he had fallen in love with.

"How can you even argue with this?" she asked. "What has she ever really done for you, other than cause you pain?"

He didn't answer immediately. She scowled, stood up, picked up the brush, and started walking towards her dresser before he spoke.

"She made it possible for me to meet you," he said softly.

Elena froze. As she turned to face him, the anger was gone briefly. She looked like the old Elena, but it was quickly gone.

"She killed my brother," she said. The anger was still in her voice, though she was speaking softly.

"And mine," Damon countered.

Elena shook her head. "Don't even…"

"It can't be undone," he interrupted.

"It can be avenged," she said angrily before turning and finishing her trip to the dresser. She put the brush down and turned to face him again. "She deserves it. What else could we do to her anyway?"

She walked back to the bed and sat next to him as he answered. "Watching her run was pretty satisfying."

"She keeps coming back," Elena said softly, more frustration than anger in her voice now. She was looking down rather than at Damon.

"And if I asked you to not kill her?" Damon asked. "If I told you I didn't want you to kill her?"

She looked up sharply, searching his eyes. "Is that what you're doing? Are you trying to see if I'm bound to you again?"

Damon held her eyes only briefly before shaking his head. He was curious about the bond, but decided this wasn't the time to test it.

"Good," Elena said. Then her expression softened a little. "I know you used to be in love with her, but you I'm know I'm right." His expression remained blank, and he didn't speak, so she added, "and I know you'll help me. You and Stefan."

He forced a smile as he rose. "You know I will. You know me well."

He had gone to her to test their relationship, as well as to see how she was doing, but he decided this was not the time for that either. Damon decided that he would help Elena get rid of her anger, then see what she was like then.

He turned back to her just before leaving the room. He had to remind her of one more thing, one thing she seemed to have forgotten in her anger towards Katherine. "Just don't forget about Silas. He's still out there."

She didn't respond, and her expression didn't change in the brief time he looked at her before leaving the room and closing the door behind him.

* * *

_I actually wrote a page after episode 19, but couldn't force myself to finish it or post it. Elena was in no shape for these little scenes (actually, I should probably have not done anything with the preceding 2 or 3 episodes). And I felt completely cheated by episode 20 – good thing they're giving us an extra episode this year._

_And are Originals as powerful and worthy of fear as Season 2 wanted us to think? Noble Elijah wiped out dozens of vampires that season, Klaus seems to be challenged by everyone everywhere nowadays…_

_But Elena is tolerable again (though I find the mixed treatment of Katherine – one side trying to kill her, the other going to make her invulnerable – annoying. I am, after all, still in love with her)._

_But the game remains afoot, and will be for a couple of more weeks, so I'm gonna play…_


	65. The Only One She Can Talk To

_This missing scene begins after the end of Season 4 Episode 22, __The Walking Dead__ …_

Elena was with Jeremy when she saw Damon again. Alaric was with him this time. She had been so engrossed in being with her brother that she hadn't even thought about the time that had passed since Bonnie left them – not until she saw Damon's expression.

She gave it only a brief glance before going to Alaric and giving him hug.

"Rick," she said. "It's so good to see you."

He returned the hug, though only briefly, releasing her as he put the bottle down.

"One last binge?" Elena asked, looking at the bottle as she backed up and let Jeremy take her place.

"Damon's idea," he said as he hugged Jeremy.

Elena turned her attention to Damon and saw him rolling his eyes. Then he looked at her and asked, "Does it seem to you like too much time has passed since the witch said she would raise the veil?"

As she looked into Damon's eyes, Elena realized he was right. She had expected this all to end much sooner.

Damon pushed himself off of the trunk of his car. "We need to see what the delay is."

"I'll go," Jeremy said. "If Bonnie's having a problem, it's probably a vampire, and since I'm a Hunter…"

Damon scowled a little as Elena's brother started to leave. Then Alaric spoke.

"I'll go too," he said, and moved to catch up with Jeremy.

"Do you even know where?" Damon asked as they left.

"We'll start with where I pulled the stake out you," Alaric said. "I'm sure we'll find her."

Elena cringed at the mention of the stake. She turned to face Damon as he moved to lean against his car again.

"I'm really am sorry about that, about staking you." Elena said.

"Don't apologize," Damon said. "You meant to do it, you did it. I should have seen it coming."

"I wasn't myself," she said.

"Of course you were yourself – your vengeful self."

Elena closed her eyes and nodded her head. "Yeah."

"Before that you were your emotionless self. It wasn't my favorite version of you, but it was still you."

"The things I said, Damon…"

"Like telling me you only said you loved me because you were sired to me?"

She cringed again, and nodded. "I didn't …"

"You meant it," he interrupted. "It was your unfeeling logic, but you're back now. I don't want your apology."

Elena laughed a little. "Caroline wants me to apologize to her."

Damon smirked. "But you told her the truth?"

"Yeah," Elena admitted. "But I wouldn't say it now. I'll have to apologize eventually."

She was next to him, leaning against the car with him now.

"Apologize for the truth," he muttered

Elena shook her head. "For saying it, I would never had said it if my emotions were intact."

She was looking at him, though he had been staring ahead. Now he turned his head to look at her.

"It should be enough that your emotions are back. No one should demand that you explain or deny what you said when they were off, or while you were in revenge mode."

Elena sighed. "But they do. Caroline wants an apology, Stefan wants to lecture me about all of the stages he went through, what he thinks I need to go through."

Damon shrugged and looked away. "You picked these people to be close to you."

Elena looked at him, a little amazed that he was so different from the others. "You saved me – again. You brought me back, no matter what I said or did to you."

"I wasn't alone," he said softly, their eyes locked. "Stefan and the others did everything they could for you."

"It was the same with Stefan," she said, speaking just as softly. "You did everything you could to help him, to help me save him and bring him back when he was gone. You save him and me, but who helps you. Who saves you?"

Damon looked forward again. "He's saved me before." He turned back to her, "Hell, Elena, you've saved me before. More than once."

"Those were incidents," she said. "But if you were lost, like he was. Like I was."

"Then you and Stefan would come for me," he said.

"The point is, we haven't had to," she said, shaking her head. "You've got something neither of us has."

Damon shrugged, still looking away from her.

Elena hesitated. "Why are you the only one I can talk to, the only one I really want to apologize to?"

He didn't respond, but he looked at her as she added, "The only one I really want to be around right now. The only one who has made no demands of me."

He had looked like he was thinking, but he snapped out of it. "I have what I want. You're back to being the Elena I …"

She thought he might have said 'love', but wasn't sure.

"Nothing else, Damon?" She asked, "No questions?"

He looked away again. "Now that you're back, you'll tell me whatever you want me to know, you'll tell me when you're ready."

She hesitated, while he continued to stare in front of himself, apparently thinking again. She reached for his hand hesitantly, but he stood before her hand touched his.

"So you're yourself – before you 'turned it off'?" Damon asked her, turning to face her.

Elena nodded, though she couldn't read his expression.

"And do you still want what you wanted then?" he asked.

Elena was confused. She had an idea of what he meant, but he said he would let her tell him things in her own time. "What do you mean?" she finally asked.

"Do you still want the cure?"

Elena was stunned, but he looked like he was serious. "It's gone, isn't it?"

He started to say something, but was interrupted by his phone. She watched him as he pulled it out and looked at the screen.

He turned suddenly, saying, "Come on. Your former love needs help."

She rose and quickly followed him. "Stefan?"

Than brought a snort from Damon. "Donovan," he said, though she could easily see he was smirking.

* * *

_Happy Mother's Day to all current and future mothers who read this._

_Actually, if you missed it, Chapter 21 of this story is a Mother's Day story, though it was a different time then - and a different Elena._

_For the first time in weeks, I am really looking forward to the next episode of TVD. I had to wait for awhile, but my Elena is back (though who knows what the TVD writers will turn her into…)_


	66. Admitting the Truth

_This missing scene begins after the end of Season 4 Episode 23, __Graduation__ …_

"Elena!" Damon called as soon as he saw her lying on the floor. He had responded to her call, and saw immediately that Elena and Katherine were lying next to each other; one lying still, face down, the other just starting to sit up, phone in hand. Elena was still wearing what she had earlier that day, so he did not hesitate to go to her and help her stand.

"Did she do this to you?" he asked.

Elena nodded as she stood.

"I'm going to kill her," Damon said, releasing Elena and turning towards Katherine.

"No!" Elena quickly said, stumbling and grabbing him as he turned. She needed his support to stand as much as she wanted to stop him from touching Katherine.

Damon felt her stumble and turned back to her, grabbing her into his arms as he supported her.

"She's not getting away with this," he growled, "and, anyway, you wanted her dead."

Elena shook her head as wrapped her arms around him to support herself as she stood again. "She's human. If you touch her when your this upset, you'll kill her."

Damon looked at her questioningly, then turned his head to look at Katherine. "Human?"

Elena nodded as she pushed on him to signal him that he should let her stand on her own.

"All the easier to kill her," Damon said, glaring at Katherine's unmoving form, though he stayed next to Elena.

Elena shook her head again. "No. Let her suffer as a human."

Damon looked back at Elena, and the doppelganger added "If I change my mind, we can easily kill her - anytime."

Damon's face changed from hard to a smirk. But it was brief, it went hard again as he asked, "How the hell did this happen?"

"She jumped me, almost killed me, until I managed to shove the cure into her mouth and make her swallow it."

He was suddenly concerned. "Elena," he whispered. "The cure."

She only nodded, so he continued, "Now you'll never have the chance…"

"I wasn't going to take it, Damon." She interrupted.

"But you wanted it."

"I wanted it," she acknowledged, nodding. "I want it now. I still want to be human, but I don't want it enough to lose you." When he looked at her questioningly, she added, "You told me back on the island, how much you wanted to be with me if I were human."

Damon grimaced.

"So I wasn't going to take it, Damon. I even offered it to Stefan." She managed to pull his head down for a kiss. "I want you more than I want to be human, Damon."

He still didn't answer, so she continued, "Anyway, you told me again today how wrong you would be for me, that you would rather die than be with me, even if you were the one that was human. You said you weren't going to change," she continued, "and I believe you. I want you, Damon. I don't care if you are human or a vampire. I don't care if I'm human or a vampire, I want you."

He hesitated as her words sank in, the smirked a little. "You offered the cure to Stefan?"

She nodded as she moved to stretch her shoulders. "I told him that he's the only one I knew who is worse at being a vampire than me."

Damon laughed. "You were in full insult mode."

"No," Elena denied, laughing a little herself. "I didn't mean it as an insult. It's just a fact."

"But he turned you down."

"Yeah." She said. "So I wasn't sure what I was going to do with the cure. Rebekah wanted it, maybe it would still be needed for Silas. But I wasn't going to take it."

Damon looked down at Katherine. They were side by side now, each with one arm around the other. "So there it is," he said. "The cure that almost got us all killed. That did get your brother killed."

Elena nodded. Damon could tell she was trying to hold back tears.

"Did you find him?" He asked.

Elena shook her head, sniffling. "It's too late, isn't it."

Damon nodded. "Rick's gone. I think that means the veil is up."

Elena nodded. "At least I got to see Jeremy, even if it wasn't for long."

"And you know he's OK," Damon added.

"Jeremy's OK," Elena said, kneeling next to Katherine, but not touching her. "This one, however, will live in hell for the rest of her life."

"Exactly how long will that be?" Jeremy asked. Damon turned to look at him as Elena stood and faced him. "I might have a bone to pick with her myself."

"Jer?" she asked tentatively.

He nodded and she ran to him.

"What?" She asked, "How?"

He had been smiling, but it disappeared as he said, "Bonnie."

"Bonnie," Elena said, releasing the hug she had on her brother enough to turn to Damon and repeat, "Bonnie."

If Elena saw the hard expression on Damon's face, she didn't mention it. She turned back to Jeremy, who was looking at Damon, his face hard as well. But then her brother smiled as his eyes returned to her.

"I've got to thank her," Elena said.

"She's gone to stay with her mom," Jeremy said quickly, his smile disappearing again. "But I'll tell her when I talk to her."

Elena nodded as she turned back to Damon again. This time his face was blank as she said "Found him. Let's go home."

"You don't want to be around when Katherine wakes up and figures it all out?" Damon asked, putting his arm around Elena as they started walking.

"I did," she said, "But now, I'd rather be with you. Both of you."

After they had walked for a few seconds, Jeremy said "I can't wait to sleep in my own bed tonight."

He had been walking behind them, so Elena stopped and looked back to him. "You mean...you don't know?" she asked.

"Know what?" Jeremy asked, managing to look confused for a few seconds, before he let it melt into a smile. Then he said, "It's going to take a long time for me to do the math to figure out how much you owe me."

Elena turned around, tightened her arm around Damon, and started walking again. "Do the math. I'll pay."

* * *

_Uh oh, the long anticipated day has finally arrived. Elena has finally stopped lying to herself._

_I have no idea if I'll be able to continue this into Season 5. Time will tell, I guess…_

_But if I can't, thanks to all who have taken a little time once in awhile to read these. Just knowing that so many of you have been reading these tidbits has made the writing so much more enjoyable. Your kind comments have been icing on the cake. _

_So, thanks for coming along. It's been a blast…(and maybe it will be again…) _


	67. The Confusion

_This missing scene begins about 10 minutes before the end of Season 4, Episode 23 - Graduation..._

"I just can't believe it," Stefan said. "They fight constantly."

"You saw it coming," Lexi said. She was trying to speak calmly, but didn't appreciate the subject of their conversation. Still, she was willing to talk about this, for Stefan. He seemed to need to get his feelings about Elena out.

"I still can't believe it," Stefan said, acting as if he hadn't seen it coming.

"Well, I saw coming", Lexi said.

"Why?" Stefan asked. "Because she punched me? She's hit Damon before. She staked him just a few hours ago. She hasn't done anything to me that she hasn't done to him"

Lexi shook her head, was he really this dense? "You heard them fighting over saving the world, and you said they were ignoring the elephant in the room - her feelings. She didn't fight with you about saving the world, she fought with Damon."

"Damon had the cure," Stefan insisted.

Being with him wasn't as pleasant as she had hoped. "Hey, I'm just telling you what it is. There's no reason to get upset at me. I thought you wanted to see me."

"I did… I mean I do," Stefan said dejectedly. "This isn't your fault."

They were driving, having left Elena and Damon. Stefan was to dispose of the body of Silas, and then he wasn't sure what he was going to do. But he knew that none of this was Lexi's fault . His time with her was so short, and he wasn't sure why he was bringing the situation up. He just couldn't stop himself.

"It has to be the bond. " Stefan insisted

"So there was no sign of Elena's feelings for Damon before the bond?"

Stefan looked uncomfortable and didn't immediately answer, so Lexi pressed him.

" You had no suspicions no questions About her feelings for Damon? She showed nothing towards him?"

Of course Stefan knew that Elena had feelings for Damon before the bond. He had even sent her to Denver to figure the feelings out. He was sure she felt something for his brother, but he was also sure she would choose him. She had always chosen him before, despite what she felt for his brother or anyone else. And she had, she had chosen Stefan. It was obvious to the vampire that his brother was the problem.

So if it was so obvious, why couldn't Lexi see it?

"Even when I was at my worst," Stefan said, "she brought me back. She helped me. And then she chose me. She forgave me."

"She wasn't the only one who did that." Lexi said. "Even I know that. Damon was with her every step of the way."

Stefan was uncomfortable again. He had no idea what Lexi had or had not seen while she was on the other side of the veil. But he did not like her bringing up the fact that Damon had been the one helping Elena, that Stefan had forced them together.

"All true," Stefan said. "But she still chose me, after all that."

"So you lost her somewhere else along the way, "Lexi said. She didn't really agree, but was tiring of the argument. "Does it really matter? "

"I don't know, "Stefan said, then a few seconds later repeated himself. "I don't know,"

"So you're giving up" Lexi said, "just like that"

"She's made her choice, "Stefan replied." I should respect that."

"Are you going to?" Lexi asked.

"For now, I think I have to "

"So, we're getting rid of the body, and then going somewhere." Lexi said almost sounded excited.

"We?" Stefan asked.

"Hey, I am always with you. So where is it?"

"The veil ..." Stefan began.

"Please, "Lexi said. "I have skills. I'm talking to you now, aren't I? And just because you won't be able to see me..."

Lexi left her voice drop off.

Stefan looked at her little oddly, but got into the spirit of the discussion as she continued.

"So where? New York?"

"Too close."

* * *

_You can take it from there, the episode did..._

_Things have changed around me, new job, new city. This was as much a test to see if I could still do these as an expression of my excitement with a new season a few weeks away._

_Not sure about the answer. This was harder than usual. Now to figure out how to make it easier so I can play during season 5..._


	68. The Darkness

_This missing scene occurs sometime between the end of Season 4 and the Start of Season 5…_

"How's Jeremy?" Caroline asked as Elena sat down across from her at the small table at the grill.

"Good," she responded, trying to read the face of the blonde vampire. "He's still getting used to being back, but seems to be adjusting."

Elena drew in a breath as the other vampire nodded. She was here to try to fix things between them, and knew it wouldn't be easy. Caroline had demanded an apology, but Elena wasn't sure she was ready to do that. Still, she needed to do something.

,"Thanks for coming, Caroline," Elena said. "We both know we need to talk."

Elena felt a little sick as she watched the blonde's face harden.

"We both know you need to apologize," Caroline corrected.

The doppelganger hesitated. She felt bad about what was said while she had her emotions off; but she wasn't sure she could deny the truth of it, though Caroline would probably demand it.

Elena hesitated for too long. "I'm waiting," Caroline demanded.

Elena decided that this was stupid. Did she still want Caroline as a friend even after everything the blonde had done? She felt her face harden slightly as she said, "So am I."

That caught Caroline off guard. "What are you waiting for? You need to apologize - you said some awful things, and you tried to kill me."

"You did some things that you need to apologize for," Elena shot back.

"Me? Apologize for what?"

"Telling Stefan about Damon and me. You promised you would let me tell him."

Caroline was incredulous. "It's not the same, and I did it to help you."

Elena snorted. "Help me."

"Yes" Caroline claimed, adamantly. "You were sired. You didn't have a choice."

"But you think I had a choice when I said what I said?" She was nearly yelling now, so Elena tried to calm herself. "It was never the sire bond. What I did with Damon, I wanted to do."

"So what you said to me you wanted to say?" the blonde demanded.

"I saw things differently then," the dark-haired vampire claimed. "I see things clearer now."

"That's not really an ans…" Caroline began, but Elena cut her off.

"And you didn't give me an apology! You're not dead an Stefan still knows!" Elena was glaring, but forced herself to soften it. "Look, we've both said and done things we wouldn't do or say now. Let's just call it even, OK?"

Elena hesitated while Caroline's expression, which was still pretty harsh, became resigned. "Fine."

"I'm just…" Carlonie began, then hesitated. "I'm worried about you. Since you've become a vampire, since you've been with Damon, you've gotten…darker."

Elena looked at her friend before repeating. "Darker."

Elena almost said something about Caroline getting judgey, but hesitated. Did Caroline really know what Damon had done for her, what he had said to her? Did she know that Damon had been willing to let Elena go, was willing to give her up because he didn't want to impose his will on her. She wasn't sure how to explain this to Caroline, but the blonde was speaking again anyway.

"Damon lives in a different world, a darker world. It's dangerous."

"So it's dangerous in the darkness?" Elena asked softly. "The 'light' I was in before wasn't free of danger. My parents died, my friends, my brother."

Caroline's expression changed. She really did look concerned now. "And I don't want to lose you."

Elena closed her eyes and rubbed her head. Maybe Caroline really was worried about her, but that really didn't change anything. Damon was changing for her, and she was changing for him. For some reason, she still wanted, or at least was willing to have Caroline as a friend, but things were different now and Caroline needed to accept that.

Elena raised her head and met Caroline's eyes. "So Damon lives in the dark? Maybe I'm taking him some light." She rose, and turned to leave. "You'll have to come into the darkness, if you want to see me. That's where I'll be."


	69. What She Would Want

_These missing scenes begin near the end season 5, episode 1 - I Know What You Did Last Summer..._

Elena

It hurt every time Elena did it, every time she told Damon that she loved him over the phone.

Really, she hadn't had to do it often. The first time was when she had been compelled to leave him. That seemed like such a long time ago. Even then he was taking care of Jeremy for her. The circumstances were better this time, she could go to him if she wanted. This time, she had left on her own, gone to school away from Damon and her brother. Living with Caroline wasn't ideal, as soon as they were out of the car, the blonde vampire was dissing her relationship with Damon again, calling her breakup with Stefan a mistake. It wasn't that great a start for her college experience.

But Elena was able to get through it, and her feelings about Damon during this separation only confirmed the truth. The sire bond may have been gone, but the feelings for Damon were still there, and they were as strong as ever.

She was a little annoyed when Caroline talked about Damon, but it wasn't hard to ignore - even before Megan had fallen dead at their feet. Even before she heard Caroline crying over Tyler's deciding not to come to school with them.

Now she could only feel pity for the vampire that had betrayed her trust more than once, the vampire that Damon had gone to save more than once.

As tempting as it was to go back to Damon, Elena was staying with Caroline. Not that it was the pity she felt for the blonde vampire, it was the mystery of Megan. She didn't know if the girl was an innocent or not, but she knew that the girl was tied to her father. He seemed to have trusted her, and that got Elena's attention.

Though she was resolved to stay in school with Caroline, she was starting to wonder if it had been such a good idea to share whatever was going on in her mind about Stefan. It wasn't dreaming, like Caroline kept calling it, but it was something, and it worried her.

She was sure, though, that whatever it was, Damon would help her figure it out. And, if needed, he would go wherever she needed to go with her. But this time, at least, if they needed to go somewhere to resolve the Stefan issue, she wouldn't have to hide her feelings for Damon.

* * *

Damon

Damon couldn't believe what he had done - hugging Jeremy. It had been an impulse; and really, it was as close as he could get to Elena just then. But thinking about it made him cringe a little.

So he resolved not to think about it.

It was easy to not think about it, all he had to do was think about what Elena had told him. He had asked if she wanted to come back to him, but he was just as tempted to go to her. In their brief history together, in the time since he had become convinced that she really did want to be with him, their separations had always been like this. They had always had really bad days at the same time. He always found out over the phone how bad her day had been.

But they had always been able to work through it.

She was staying in school. It was what she wanted, so he was going to do everything he could to make sure she could stay - including making sure Jeremy was becoming what she wanted.

Jeremy was talking again, so he looked in that direction. Elena's brother looked pretty much normal now.

"I'm a hunter," Jeremy was saying, "but I keep being saved by vampires. First Elena, now you."

"Quit dying," Damon retorted, "and we'll stop. Elena would love it if you could go for a year without..."

Damon cut himself off and tilted his head, annoyed. Jeremy wasn't looking at him.  
But the hunter's expression was changing. He was starting to shake his head.

"Bon..." Jeremy began, and then he looked like he was reaching for someone.

Damon was about to say something when Jeremy suddenly turned back to him. "We need to find Katherine.

"Find her?" Damon asked sharply. "Why?" He would have thought that Jeremy would be glad to be rid of the vampire-turned-human.

"Because Silas wants her." Jeremy said, turning away to begin the search. "Because wherever she is, he will go. And because as much as I want to kill all vampires who are not my sister, I want him dead."

"Isn't he supposed to be immortal," Damon asked Jeremy's retreating figure. "You're not supposed to be able to kill him, and how do you know this anyway?"

Jeremy stopped briefly and looked back at Damon. "I'm a hunter. I know things, and you have no idea what I can do."

Damon shook his head and moved to follow knowing that whatever Jeremy was doing, Elena would want Damon to be with him.


	70. What He Care About

_This missing scene begins after the end of Season 5, episode 2 - "True Lies"..._

Damon hadn't said anything, but Elena could tell something was bothering him. It could be anything – anything from what she had said to him when she was under the influence of Silas to what they had just learned about Stefan. Whatever it was, he was keeping it to himself.

Sheriff Forbes was making arrangements for the body that had just been found. Damon and Elena had been walking through the woods nearby; seeing if Stefan, or anyone else, had left clues about where they had gone. They had found nothing, and had heard nothing from the sheriff about the identity of the victim, so they were about to give up and try to connect with Jeremy instead.

Being with Damon made Elena realize how much she had missed him; she really was glad to be with him, now that she was in her right mind again. Still, he was saying so little, and she could tell he was upset. It was unnerving her.

They were headed back to his car when he finally said it. "I can't believe we're back here again." He hesitated, then added, "I knew it could happen. I just didn't think it would be so soon."

When he didn't elaborate after a few seconds, she asked, "Back where again?"

He stopped and looked at her as he answered. "Back to 'Ripper' Stefan."

She wanted to deny it. "Couldn't it have been Silas?" she asked softly.

He scowled, shook his head and started walking. "It's Stefan's 'MO'."

He walked in silence again for a bit before she couldn't stand it anymore. What she had said to him, what she had done to him while she was under Silas' influence was eating at her. He didn't seem to need her to say anything about it, but she just had to.

"Damon," she said, "I'm sorry."

"For what?" he asked, stopping and turning to face her.

She had to look away to answer. "For the stuff I said when I…when I had you tied up."

"Elena…" he began, but she interrupted him, still unable to look at him.

"I can't believe I'm back here again," she said, shaking her head as she repeated what he had said just before. "How many times am I going to come to my senses and have to apologize to you for what I said?"

Damon's expression softened. "How many times am I going to have to tell you that you don't need to apologize to me, no matter what you say?" Damon asked. "Say whatever you want – I can take it."

"Still," Elena said, then tried a different approach. "I wouldn't have said those things if I was in control."

"Sure you would have," he retorted. "You might not have tried to kill me, but you would have given me an earful."

"Yeah," she admitted.

"Honestly," he added starting to walk again, "you say 'what were you thinking?' so often that I'm starting think that you think it means 'I love you'."

She followed him saying, "It means I can't believe what you're doing. You should have told me about Jeremy, and about Bonnie's dad."

He stopped and looked at her again. "I was thinking that you would leave school to try to fix things. I was handling it. Bonnie only talks to Jeremy, and Jeremy's still trying to adjust to being back. I got Jeremy back into school and you need to stay in school."

Elena nodded and agreed. "You were handling it. I can see that now." She hesitated briefly, then asked, "And you're really secure with our relationship, even though I get feelings about Stefan sometimes? Even though you had to make me concentrate on those feelings to snap me out of Silas' control?"

Damon shrugged and headed for the car again. "I want to save him, too."

Elena shook her head. "You must think I'm awful," she said softly to herself as she started following him.

He stopped suddenly and faced her again, taking her head gently into both of his hands and pulling her eyes up to look into his. "I'm starting to think that you don't understand, Elena. I don't care what happens; I don't care what you do, or try to do, to me. I don't care what I have to do to reach you. I'll take whatever you think you have to do or say to me, I'll do whatever I have to do to reach you - I don't care. I only care if, when you are yourself again, if you come back to me." He kissed her gently, then added, "That's all I'll ever need."

Damon turned and started walking towards the car again, though this time he held onto one of her hands as he walked. Elena was caught off guard, but moved to match his speed; wondering, not for the first time, what she had done that had earned such a commitment from him.


	71. Love and Trust

_This missing scene begins after the end of season 5, episode 3 - __Original Sin__…_

Elena was looking at Stefan, a Stefan who was sleeping again, but she was obsessing about something Damon had said earlier. He had mentioned that Ketzia had said their love was doomed, and when Elena said that the witch was crazy, Damon had said 'maybe not'.

"You are my life", Damon had told Elena after she had tried to reassure him about her love for him, and she believed him.

How could she not? He had shown it since she had started paying attention to him. It was clear to her while she was with Stefan, though the attention he had paid to her then was annoying. Really, she had always though he had paid attention to her to annoy his brother - and she still thought that it was true as far as when they first met. Damon barely, knew her, and she could tell he was mostly trying bug Stefan.

But then Elena had saved Damon in Georgia, and something had changed. Damon later helped her save Stefan from vampires trying to take revenge on him. He had saved her from humiliation when he had replaced Stefan in a dance, then had helped her fix his brother. Eventually, she had learned that, even when Damon was at his worst, he would not hurt her - she could ask him to do things for her and he would do them.

She had used his willingness to help her from time to time; and, whenever she thought about it, she was amazed that Damon was so willing to help her even though she was with Stefan.

She had let her guard down when he had nearly been killed by a werewolf bite - a bite she knew he had incurred while trying to save her friends and protect her. She had shown even more of her feelings when Damon helped her save Stefan. She had tried to deny the feelings she felt for Damon, though she knew that they were starting to show. She might have claimed that her feelings for Damon were changing as he helped her, but it didn't matter. Damon knew what she felt for him, and even Stefan knew - and finally called her on it.

But even then, she told herself, she was with Stefan. She had met Stefan first, no matter what she felt for Damon, she had never lost her feelings for Stefan.

Elena was starting to get a sick feeling as she thought about it. She had said so much in the past, had done so much. She hoped that Damon could see that things had changed, that she had changed.

But could he?

All he had ever said to her, all he had ever shown her, was that he loved her. Did her words and actions show that she loved him?

Surly, she thought, her actions since she had become a vampire showed that. Of course, while her humanity was off, she had said pretty mean things to him. She had used him every chance she got. Through it all, he had just loved her and tried to bring her back.

But after she had come back, she thought, surely he could tell. Of course, it was then that Silas had taken control of her; and she had again said some things that might make him doubt. She had said things and tried to kill him.

As he had done before, he just tried to save her, to bring her back. Again, he had let what she had said and done go without comment, without asking for an explanation or an apology.

And now she was dreaming of Stefan. He had said almost nothing about it; but had, again, gone with her to save his brother.

No wonder her words hadn't been all that reassuring to him. No wonder he still wondered if Ketzia might be right about Damon's love for Elena being doomed.

She trusted in his love for her, but she realized that she had good reason to trust it. However, he didn't have a reason to trust her love for him. How could he, given what she had done - both long ago and so recently? First there was Stefan, then the horrible things she had said and done to him after her transition.

She was still looking at Stefan, who was still sleeping; but she moved her eyes to Damon, who looked quickly away. She knew he had seen her staring at Stefan as she thought.

"I get it," she said quickly, not realizing that he might not understand.

Damon looked at her and scowled briefly, finally saying, "I'm glad."

She sighed when she realized that he had no idea what she meant. "I get why you said Ketzia might be right when she said our love is doomed to fail."

Damon's face lost the confused look and hescowled a little, but he didn't say anything.

He was sitting on a nearby couch, she had been on a chair near Stefan. She rose and walked to him. "I know what I've said and done Damon, what I've said in the past and what I've done ... well even today. I don't know why I've still got some kind of connection with Stefan, but it's not because I want to be with him." She glanced back at the sleep Stefan, then met Damon's eyes again. "I want him to be safe, I want him to be happy. But Damon, I want to be with you."

"I know." Damon said, nodding, though Elena thought it was one of those times that he was just saying what she wanted to hear. She thought she could see some doubt in his expression.

"That's it?" She asked, a little upset about not being convinced by his words. "You a have nothing else to say?"

"Well," he said after a hesitation, then looking away, "you might want to rethink your connection with Bonnie Bennett. You didn't see Ketzia, but I can tell from my time with her that witches are crazy. And vindictive."

She wondered if it was a joke, but couldn't spend any time thinking about it. She was too upset that her past actions were keeping him from seeing how committed she was to their relationship. She wanted to fix it, but wasn't sure how to do it. Finally, when his eyes met hers again, she just asked.

"Damon," she began, "I know you love me. I know that - you said that I am your life, and you have shown it since we met. And because of that, I know that you will always love me. I can trust in that. But you'll never trust me the same way, will you?"

"Not trust you?" She appreciated that his expression was incredulous as he spoke. "Elena, I've never trusted anyone more than you. I'll go anywhere you want me to go, do anything you want me to do. I trust you to do what you think is right, I trust you to protect your brother and mine. I trust you."

She cringed a little as she said, "You've always gone where I asked, done what I asked, Damon, whether I loved you or not. "

"Because I've always loved you," Damon told her, "I love you and I trust you, but you know that."

Elena nodded, sat next to him and hugged him. "I know, and I love you."

She knew what he was saying, and what he hadn't said. He loved her, and he didn't have to trust her to love him. He wanted her to know that he would love her whether she loved him or not. After all that had happened, he was telling her that she still had a choice of whether to love him or not. It wouldn't matter, he would love her like he always had.

She sat took his hand and snuggled up to him. She wanted him to trust in their relationship, in her feelings for him – though she knew she hadn't earned that trust yet.


	72. Stefan

_This missing scene begins after the end of season 5, episode 4 - "__For Whom the Bell Tolls"..._

"Stefan tried to kiss me," Elena said. She hadn't meant to blurt it out, but she said it without preamble, so that was the way it sounded.

She was sitting on a couch with Damon, leaning into him. Though it was after their service for Bonnie, she was still upset and Damon was still comforting her.

He hesitated before responding, and she almost looked up into his eyes to gauge his reaction, but he spoke before she did.

"Did you let him?"

She did look at his face now, it was totally blank.

"Let him kiss me?" She asked. "Of course not. That's when i told him that I'm with you. That's when he took off."

She watched him carefully before he responded, but his expression didn't change.

"Then why did you bring it up?" He asked. "Do you want me beat him up?"

"No!" She said quickly.

"Talk to him?" Damon asked. "Hate him?"

"No," Elena repeated. "I handled it."

"Then the point is..." He began, but let his words trail off.

"I thought you should know," she finally said.

"That the doppelgänger curse is intact, even when he has no memory of you from before? That he's still drawn to you?"

Elena cringed and broke eye contact. His expression wasn't changing, and she was getting nervous about what he was thinking.

"You need to know, Damon, that I'm not going to let anything or anyone get between us. Not even Stefan."

"Who you still love," he quickly added.

She looked back into his eyes. "Who we both love, who we both want to be OK."

"It's not the same," he said quietly, scowling a little.

"It is to me," she asserted. "I love him like a brother. I love you like..."

Words escaped her, so she just put her arms behind his head and pulled herself up to kiss him.

He relaxed into the kiss, and when she pulled away, his expression had softened.

"I know," he said softly.

She moved to sit by him, to lean into him again. "But Damon, I can't lose him. I can't lose anybody - Bonnie was too much. I can't lose Jeremy or Caroline," she looked into his eyes again, "or Stefan."

She watched him, but he looked like he was thinking, he said nothing until she added, "Damon?"

"I know," he said quickly, smiling briefly, "and I'll do everything I can to help you keep what you've got, and to get back..." He cut himself off. "I know, Elena. Whatever you need from me, you've got. You know that, right?"

She studied his face as she nodded. It wasn't blank, but she couldn't read his expression. It bothered her that she knew him well enough to know that he would do anything she asked of him, do anything he thought he needed to do for her - whether she would approve of his actions or not. He would give her whatever he thought she needed, but she couldn't read his expressions, she couldn't even give him the assurance she thought he needed.

"I know," she said, "but I'm not sure you know that you can trust me. I never know what you're thinking."

"Then listen to my words, Elena," he said pulling her in for a quick kiss. "I trust you to do anything you think you need to do, anything you want to do with him or anyone else. And when you're done, I trust that you'll come back to me."

He kissed her again, deeper this time. She joined in, feeling little better about his trust of her, and even more grateful that she could trust him.

* * *

_Am I the only one that is a little surprised, though pleased, that Elena cut off the Stefan kiss (even if it was reluctantly)? As much as I am in love with her, I don't quite trust her..._


	73. The Summer

_This missing scene begins after the end of season 5, episode 7 - Death and the Maiden..._

"How often am I going to see that look on your face?" Damon asked Elena as they walked.

They had left Stefan to bury Silas and were walking in the woods now. Damon had been quiet until now, and the question caught Elena off guard.

"What look?" she asked when he said no more.

"The look you had when he told you that he hoped you would be the one he saw when the safe opened."

She had been looking at Damon as he spoke, but had to look away now. "He said he was hoping it was both of us."

Damon snorted. "He did, after he saw that I was listening. But I heard him when he thought he was just talking to you. I know him, and I know what he meant. I know you, and I know what the expression you had on your face meant."

She glanced sideways at him as they walked, but didn't try to meet his eyes. "It meant I want him to be safe. You want that for him, too."

She saw that his face tightened a little, but he didn't respond.

Finally, she sighed. "You must think I'm pathetic. Trying so hard to save him, asking you to find him so we wouldn't lose him again." She glanced at him and let a breath out before continuing. "I still need you to help me with him."

"I'm a little more concerned about you being lured to a crazy witch when she..." Damon stopped and turned to Elena, "when she played on your feelings for him, when she made you jealous."

He turned and started walking again. "And when you keep telling him how much he means to you."

She had stopped walking when he did, and now hurried to catch up. "How much he means to us."

His face didn't change and he didn't respond, but she could tell he didn't believe her.

"They're all gone now Damon – both of the stupid witches and Amara. Jeremy and Bonnie are both back. Now all we have to do is make sure Stefan is OK, and things can get back to normal."

"Make sure he's OK," Damon said under his breath.

"Yeah," she said, finally grabbing his arm, pulling him so he would stop and looking into his eyes. "We both want him to be OK."

"Yes we do," he said, his face nearly blank again as he looked at the hand that held onto him arm. She took the hint and let him go, and he started walking again without saying anything else.

"What can I do, Damon?" she asked imploringly. "I just want him to be OK, then we can go back to the way we were last Summer."

They had reached the Boarding House, but had not entered. Damon turned to look at her, his face still fairly stern, and said "Just come back to me when it's done, when it's all over."

She grabbed both of his arms with her hands as she looked intently into his eyes. "I'm here, Damon. Here with you."

"I'm not sure it's over."

Elena cringed. "Damon, please."

His expression changed suddenly, he looked intently into her eyes. "Just tell me one thing, Elena. Just tell me that you told Stefan the truth."

He hesitated, and she thought of a number of things she had said to Stefan that he might be talking about. She almost asked what he meant when he spoke again.

"Just tell me you told him the truth when you said that you were happy all Summer. That you got the Summer of your dreams"

She smiled a little. "It's the truth, Damon. I've never been happier than when I was with you last Summer."

He leaned in to plant a brief kiss on her lips before turning to enter their home. "Then remember that. And remember how annoyed you were when he told you to give up on protecting Amara."

He turned back to her suddenly. She had been following him into the house and barely avoided running into him. "And quit thinking that Stefan knows you better than anyone. If it ever was true, it hasn't been true for a very long time."

"You're right", she said quietly to herself as he turned and headed for the stairs. "A very long time."


	74. What They Will Do

_This is a continuation of the scene between Elena and Caroline near the end of Season 5, Episode 8 – "Dead Man on Campus"…_

"I hope that never happens," Caroline said, and turned from Elena.

Elena's emotions were mixed as the blonde vampire turned from her. Although she appreciated the sentiment that Caroline always wanted Elena to be her friend, this was typical Caroline logic, full of judgment about Elena's actions, but ignoring the reason.

Elena really did feel sorry for Caroline's loss, but her claim that Damon is dangerous finally got to the Doppelganger. The blonde vampire was acting like Damon was the only one in town who had ever done anything she thought was wrong.

She turned to face Caroline's retreating figure. "You're right," Elena said. As Caroline turned towards, Elena added, "Damon is dangerous. We all are. What's your death count, Caroline? How safe are witches around you?"

Caroline became flustered. "It wasn't about…it was about…Bonnie…" She stopped and glared at Elena. "It's not the same. It was a mistake. Damon kills without thinking, without remorse. And you're getting to be the same way."

Elena had been trying to have a civil conversation with the blonde vampire. But it was getting harder. "He's done some things, yeah. But so have you, so has Stefan."

"Leave Stefan out of this," Caroline countered. "At least he's making an effort."

"And Damon isn't? He's had complete control of himself since we've been together. If anyone died because of him, there was a reason."

"Sure there was – and the reason was always 'Elena'. He'll do anything you want him to."

"Yes he will!" Elena was nearly yelling now. "Including going into the middle of a pack of werewolves to try to save you because I asked him to."

Caroline hesitated, but finally said, "That's not all he does, and you know it. He does what you ask him to, goes wherever you want him to go…"

"So this is about Tyler?" Elena interrupted. "You can't get him to come here for you, you can't get him to be loyal enough to do as you ask…"

"Stop it, Elena!" Caroline interrupted. The blonde was yelling now, Elena had struck a nerve. "It's not about Tyler, and it's not about Stefan."

Elena shrugged while scowling. "Then it's about you?"

"It's about Damon," Caroline claimed, "Damon and you. What he's doing to you, what he's making you do."

"Making me do," Elena repeated softly as she shook her head incredulously. "Do you know why I'm here, Caroline? Why I'm here at college?"

Caroline frowned, and slowly said, "Because you want the college experience."

"That's right. I want to try something normal. And is Damon here with us?"

Now the blonde vampire looked annoyed. "No, of course not. So?"

"I'm here because I want to be. Damon is happy to let me come here for this…"

"And the point?" Caroline asked impatiently.

"The point is that I continue to do what I want. Damon supports me. He has never asked me to do anything, all he has ever done is support me and protect me."

"Yes!" Caroline said as if Elena was finally getting her point. "He'll do anything for you, anything to protect you. He'll do the worst things possible to anyone he thinks is a threat to you."

Elena hesitated, and tried to make her face blank. "Then you think I'm dangerous, too? You think I should have let Jesse live?"

"I…I don't know. But the old Elena would have tried to. You're not the same as you were before."

Elena nodded. "Because of Damon."

"Yes."

Elena sighed. "Maybe you're right, maybe I'm not the same. And you're right that Damon would do anything to anyone to protect me." Her face hardened as she looked squarely into Caroline's eyes. "But you also need to know that I would do the same for him. I won't hesitate, Caroline. I may apologize for it, I may feel bad about; but I will do anything I have to if I think it will protect Damon. You saw that today, and I'm sorry; but if it happens again, I'll do it again."

Elena turned from Caroline, "I love him and he loves me. Don't pretend to be surprised if something like this happens again."

* * *

_OK, I feel a little better about TV Elena's attitude towards Damon, though that may just be because she did not interact with Stefan in this episode. _

_Big week for me. I got to be with Sydney Sage again (via "The Fiery Heart" – sorry if a little of a scene in that book bled into this), though I'm ticked at Richelle Mead since now I will have to worry about Sydney until next Summer…_

_And I get to be with Clara Oswald and the Doctor again tomorrow. Life could be much worse…(actually, it has been – but we won't go there)…_


	75. The Change

_This missing scene occurs after the end of Season 5, Episode 10 – "Fifty Shades of Grayson"…_

Really, Elena should have known better.

She needed to talk about Damon's breaking up with her to someone, and Caroline was the only one that was really accessible. Anyway, with what Bonnie was going through, talking to the witch or Jeremy wasn't possible. Talking to Stefan about Damon had never really worked out, and she was afraid he would see their breakup as some kind of 'Elena is available' signal she did not want to give him. Matt was a possibility, but Caroline was the accessible one.

Still, Elena should have known better.

"Finally!" Caroline exclaimed, seeming excited.

Elena wasn't sure of her own expression, but the blonde vampire seemed to cut herself off because of it. After a few seconds of silence, the Doppelganger asked, "Finally what?"

Caroline was less excited, more uncertain as she answered. "Finally you can move past Damon."

Elena had met Caroline on campus on a bench outside of the dorm room they (sometimes) shared. She was not sure what she had expected from this conversation, but a little bit of help or support would have been nice.

"Move past Damon," Elena repeated, looking away.

"Yes," Caroline confirmed. "Now that you've ended things with him…"

"He ended 'things' with me." Elena interrupted, still looking away.

Caroline hesitated, but then continued, "Now that things are over between you two, you can come back to school. You can have the normal life that you wanted…"

She let herself trail off, apparently unsure if Elena was still listening. Elena finally looked back at her and shrugged.

"The 'normal life' that Damon wanted me to have," she said.

"You wanted it, too," Caroline responded.

Elena nodded slightly, looking away again, and Caroline continued, "You can have that now. Without all the complications that Damon brought."

The dark haired vampire let herself laugh a little. "Not just Damon."

"OK," Caroline agreed, hesitating again, "but now that things have changed…"

Elena sharply turned her head to look at Caroline, so sharply that the blonde cut cringed a little as she cut herself off.

"What exactly do you think has changed, Caroline?" Elena asked.

When the other vampire didn't immediately answer, Elena asked, "Do you think I don't love Damon anymore?"

Caroline shook her head, but didn't say anything.

"Do you think that he doesn't love me anymore?"

"He broke up with you," Caroline answered softly.

"That wasn't the question," Elena said. She knew her tone was harsher than it should have been, but she knew it was probably a mistake to have this conversation with Carline at all.

When the blonde didn't immediately respond, the Doppelganger asked, "Do you think that he wouldn't do anything to anyone to protect me now?" When Caroline looked away, Elena asked, "What did he do before we were together?"

When Caroline looked back at Elena, she could tell that the dark-haired vampire expected an answer. "You broke up. You need to respect his decision."

Elena softened her stern expression. "What Damon needs is time. He needs to see that I'm not going anywhere."

Caroline's expression turned incredulous. "Elena, still? Why? Even he sees he's wrong for you. You know what he's done…"

"Yes!" Elena interrupted, her voice harsh again. "I know what he's done. I also know I've done, and what you've done." She hesitated and forced herself to relax a little. She forced a calm voice as she continued, "I do know what he's done, Caroline, I know exactly what he's done. What I'm finally starting to understand is the reasons for him doing it."

The blonde vampire's expression change. Now it looked a little sad. "The old Elena would have said that the reasons don't matter."

"The old Elena is still gone," Elena said, feeling a little sad herself. "This Elena is starting to understand. Nothing has changed between Damon and me."

"He doesn't want you now."

Maybe this conversion was a mistake, but Elena was beginning to think it had helped her see things clearer. She rose from the bench and smiled at Caroline before turning to walk away. "He's always wanted me. He wants me now. He just needs to know that I won't change in the way he's afraid I will."

"What does that even mean?" Caroline asked Elena's retreating figure. When the Doppelganger didn't respond or even turn around, Caroline muttered, "You don't even know how to break up…"

* * *

_Hmm…Elena seems to be in denial. Or maybe it's __me._

_Yeah, it's probably me…_


	76. The Choices

_This missing scene begins a little before the scenes where Stefan and Damon have a heart to heart and Katherine wakes up to find Elena in her room, near the end Season 5, Episode 11 – __500 Years of Solitude…._

"Are you sure you want to go in there?" Damon asked Elena as she entered the room where Katherine lay.

Elena turned to face him. She realized that she was as nervous as she had ever been when she was alone with him. "I have to," she said quietly. "I have to face her."

"Haven't you faced her enough?" Damon asked. He actually looked concerned about her, and all she could think of was that he might think she was too weak to confront the vampire that had made her life so miserable. His words seem to confirm Elena's fear. "Exactly what are you going to tell her?"

Elena hesitated, and he added "You know what I've been doing in there, right?"

She nodded. "You've been tormenting her."

Damon scowled a little. "And let me guess - you understand. You want to defend me."

Elena's heart sank. She wasn't sure how her first encounter with Damon alone after the breakup would go, but she didn't want to spend it arguing with him. She shook her head. "I'm not going to defend you, Damon, but I understand what you're doing. To some extent, I even want to do it." She chuckled to herself a little as she recalled her earlier conversation with Stefan in which he said he didn't hate Katherine. "Stefan's the one who's different. He says he doesn't hate her, that he wants her to find peace."

Elena felt a little better as Damon snorted and said "Of course. That damn doppelganger curse."

She cringed a little, afraid of where the mention of the doppelganger curse would go. "If there's a curse, you broke it."

He stared at her a little. "Stefan gave up on me," she said quickly, remembering the conversation where he told her that she had not given up on him, so she shouldn't give up on Damon. Stefan had it wrong, of course – he often did. It was Damon who never gave up on Elena. She knew that.

"I know you think I'm changing, Damon," Elena continued, "and I am. But not in the way that you're afraid of." At least that's what she hoped. She wasn't all that sure about people's changes anymore. For the longest time, she watched Damon help and protect her and others, and she would have said Damon was changing. But the more she learned about him, the more she realized that he had always been willing to help and protect those he loved.

Damon interrupted her thoughts by saying "So you're going in there to torment her?"

She shook her head. "I'm going in there to forgive her."

Damon stared at her briefly before asking, "Forgive her?Why? To show me that you haven't changed? That you're still the sweet, innocent Elena I've always loved?" He almost sounded upset.

"I have changed, Damon, but not like you … "

"You don't have to prove anything to me, Elena." Damon interrupted.

Elena held his eyes and shook her head. "I'm not trying to prove anything to you Damon. This is who I am."

She open the door a little bit and was about to enter, when she turned back to face him. "You don't have to prove anything to me, either, Damon. I already know that you love me so much that you would let me leave you, let me go wherever or to whoever I want."

She took a few steps towards him and was relieved he didn't back away – that he let her get close to him. "You showed me that time after time. You did everything you could to prove to me that I have a choice, to make sure that whatever I did, what I did was my choice."

She was right next to him now, but didn't try to touch him She was just glad he was hearing her out. "Whatever my choice was, you let me make it – without judgment or criticism. You watched me get close to Stefan, and though I knew you loved me, you still helped me." She shook her head at the memory. "Stefan watched be get close to you and did nothing but fight me, criticize me."

"Fight us both," Damon muttered.

"You would have let me stay with him and still done anything I asked of you. You don't have to prove anything to me, Damon. And you definitely don't have to prove that you love me to anyone else. They all know you love me. I heard plenty from them about it. I'm sure you did too."

He grimaced a little but did not speak.

"You don't have to prove to me that you love me by sending me away. You already did that, and I just came back to you."

She paused to see if he would react, but all he did was break eye contact with her.

"You gave me a choice, and I chose. I chose you." She hesitated and took a breath. "You say you're choosing to let me go. But Damon, if that's what you've chosen, if you've chosen to let me go wherever I want, you need to know that I will go to wherever you are. That's where I'll be, whenever I have a choice."

She left him and entered Katherine's room, hoping that, this time, she had had convinced him that her choice was made, and hoping that he knew what she wanted his choice to be.

* * *

_What, is this some alternate, fanfic universe? Stefan wants Damon to be with Elena? Maybe he can only love her as a human…_

_And we see, again, the twit that Caroline is (though she and Klaus deserve each other). Why does Elena stay around her?_

_But Katherine lives, which is good. I was a little worried there for awhile, seeing as how I still love her, flawed though she remains…_


	77. What He Does

_This missing scene begins sometime after the end of Season 5, Episode 12, __The Devil Inside__ and/or Episode 13, __Total Eclipse of the Heart__…_

"Bonnie?" the Anchor heard from behind her.

Bonnie turned around to see Elena standing there. "Elena?"

Bonnie was with Jeremy, trying to make sure he was OK after his ordeal with Enzo. She was alone with him now, but was not surprised that Elena would come back to check on her bother. However, when she saw the doppelganger, she was confused. Elena looked different.

"Where's Damon?" Elena asked. Bonnie thought the doppelganger looked confused as well.

The Anchor scowled briefly. "Not here thankfully, he's been such a ..." She cut herself off and looked more carefully at her best friend. Elena had the look of someone that was supposed to pass through her in her role as anchor to the other side. "Elena, are you OK? Where were…"

Elena shook her head when Bonnie didn't finish. "Damon found me. I was fighting Katherine, but I got through, and Damon was there, hugging me, then…"

Elena closed her eyes and shuddered before continuing. "Then I was here."

Bonnie could only stare as she got a sick feeling. Damon hadn't been with Elena for some time.

"You were fighting Katherine?" Bonnie managed to ask.

Realization hit Elena. "Oh god! Does this mean she…? …No No No!"

Bonnie felt herself choking up. This was too much. Jeremy had nearly died, Damon – whom she had come to trust – had turned out to be…

"I can't die…I can't." Elena was saying.

Bonnie didn't know what to say. She could only stand there, stare, and shake her head.

"Katherine has my body. She'll be telling everyone that she died, that she's me."

"She already has," Bonnie said, finding she was feeling even worse than she had before.

"What can we do?" Elena was desperate. "You're not going to…"

"I don't know," Bonnie said answering Elena's first questions while backing away to answer her second one. She wasn't sure it was possible to accidentally pull in her best friend, but she didn't want to take the chance.

"And the first thing she'll do send Damon away," Elena continued, "and go after Stefan. He's what she's always wanted…"

Bonnie could only watch as Elena cut herself off again. "It's what Damon's afraid of and what Stefan wants." She looked directly into Bonnie's eyes. "Bonnie?"

"She already has," Bonnie repeated. "And Damon..."

The Anchor cut herself off, not wanting to say anymore to Elena. She was starting to understand what was happening.

"Damon what?" Elena asked.

"Damon tried to get back together with you, but Katherine already said no. He didn't take it well."

Elena grimaced and turned away from Bonnie in frustration. "Damon was right about her. She's a bitch to the very end!"

"He's always right," Elena muttered as she seemed to take a breath and turn back to Bonnie. "We can't let her get away with this…"

Only then did Elena seem to notice Jeremy lying on a couch that he had placed on - Bonnie thought by Elena, but apparently not.

The doppelganger ran to her bother. "Jeremy!" Elena tried to touch him, but found that her hand only went through him. She turned back to the Anchor, anger on her face. "Who did this?"

"Enzo. He and Damon are kind of…" she managed to cut herself off.

"What can we do? We have to do _something_."

"We'll do something. Just, don't get too close to me. I'm not sure if…"

"OK, I get it." Elena said, standing and starting to back away. "But I _will _be back to check on Jeremy. See what you can figure out before then."

"I'll get right on it," Bonnie called to Elena's retreating figure. "Where are _you_ going?"

"To find Damon. To find a way kiss him...or to clobber him for being such an idiot thinking that I don't want him..or both

"He won't be able to see you."

Elena turned back. "I'll see him. Eventually, you'll tell him what's really going on, and then he'll figure something out to keep me alive.'' She turned away again. "That's what he does…"

* * *

_Seriously, is Damon the only one that has TV Elena's back? Obviously…_

_I'm annoyed. I can deal with the plot as far as Damon is concerned, and the new witch is interesting. I do hope they do something more with her. But what they've done with Elena is nearly intolerable. And the fact that they had a full episode without her appearing in one form or another is making it worse._

_I know that things like TV are a matter of taste, and people get to choose if they like them or not. I myself have started watching a number of shows and given up on them for one reason or another. Others I have followed to the (sometimes bitter) end, like Buffy and Charmed. _

_TVD is one I thought I could follow to the end. I just might, I can be a fool for hoping for a forbidden love and all. But not if Elena does not show up again pretty soon. I will certainly give up this little story until there is a Delena missing scene to post. I do have a life, and if the TV people can't see what I want, I can go other places and do other things – like continue work on my in-process stories: __The Change__, __Centrum Permanebit,__ and maybe even finish __Elena and the Pledge__. Oh yeah, and I still like tax and Jolene (not in that order). All of these are more appealing than the show right now... _


	78. The Syringe

_This missing scene contines the scene near the end of Season 5, Episode 15 - Gone Girl..._

Elena looked questioningly at Damon. She wasn't sure what the deal was with the syringe she had found on her, and wasn't sure he would know either. He was scowling a little and staring at it.

After a few seconds, she pushed herself up and tentatively took a step towards Damon. By this time his eyes had moved from the syringe back to her eyes, though she couldn't really tell what he was thinking.

"Don't you have something to tell her, Damon?" Elena heard from beside them. Stefan. She knew he was in the room with them. Maybe he had even said something before now, but his tone bothered her.

Elena glanced at Stefan, but only briefly. His expression wasn't any better than the tone of his words had been. Plus, when she looked at him, she felt a bit of a burning in her throat. She quickly turned back to Damon.

Damon's expression had changed as well. When she first opened her eyes, she could tell that he was glad to see her. When he saw the syringe, she could tell that he was concerned about it. She could read this expression as well, but hoped she was wrong.

Damon spoke now. "You know that, while you were gone, Katherine was…"

"She had control of me," she said when he didn't finish. "of my body. I know."

"Yeah," Damon said. "Well, it seems like the first thing she did when she had control of you was to break up with me."

She quickly glanced at Stefan, he had an expression she would call smug. She quickly looked back to Damon.

"You had already broken up with me," Elena said, flinching a little at the memory.

Damon shrugged, though his expression was getting a little harder, a little more like she feared. "I changed my mind. I wanted to get back together."

Elena found herself tilting her head slightly in confusion as she processed this. "Back togeth..." she stared to repeat softly before she was interrupted by Stefan.

"But Katherine put an end to that. Then what happened, Damon?"

Elena thought she might have heard a bit of a sneer in his voice, certainly there was a bit of the arrogance towards Damon she had so often seen in Stefan. She didn't bother looking at him this time, she just lifted her eyes to meet Damon's.

Damon's expression and tone were changing again. "Then I got together with Enzo and we did some ... some damage."

His expression by this time was familiar, she had seen it on him too often. It was the expression he wore when he was telling her how wrong he was for her.

"He means they killed Aaron Whitmore," Stefan said. It was as if he couldn't wait to get it out.

She pulled her eyes away from Damon and looked at Stefan. She couldn't look at him very long. She could stand the 'I told you so' expression that his face had, but she felt a burning in her throat again. She wasn't sure what that was, but she looked down instead. She closed her eyes and started to rub her head with her fingers.

"I took out Dr. Evil as well!" Damon snapped at Stefan. There was a definite sneer in his voice. "And a few others."

Elena looked at him now. He had been this way around her before, and she could deal with it, but this time Stefan was here, and he was only making things worse.

"And you used Jeremy to try to get to him. He nearly died. Enzo would have killed him."

"Stop!" Elena said, raising her hand and turning briefly to glare at Stefan. She felt a tingle in the throat again so turned quickly back to Damon.

"Is it true?" She asked the older brother.

Damon's expression didn't change as he stared right back at her. "Yes."

She cringed a little, closed her eyes, and nodded slightly.

"You see, Elena?" Stefan asked. "He loses hope, and what does he do."

She looked at Stefan again, trying to make her expression blank. This was typical Stefan, so tormented by his past that he would only hunt animals - as long as he was in control. Yet still so quick to accuse Damon of any infraction. So quick to assume she would reject his brother for any slipup.

"People die because of him, Elena," Stefan added.

The burning in her throat was increasing, she almost took a step towards Stefan, but shook herself and looked at Damon instead.

"How many, Stefan?" she asked. The burning was gone now. Damon's eyes, she decided. Damon's eyes made the burning in her throat go away.

"How many died because of Damon while you were gone?" Stefan asked. "Aaron, Dr. Maxfield, and a few others. Five? Maybe more."

Elena's eyes remained fixed on Damon as he spoke. Damon's eyes were fixed on her as well. He just stood there expecting the worst from her. This had happened before, and she knew what to do about it. Still, it was annoying that Stefan was there, insisting on doing all he could to upset her, to upset them.

"How many died when you last went Ripper, Stefan?" Elena asked, clarifying her question. Her eyes remained fixed on Damon. Damon had tried to get back together with her? There were other things to deal with, but this was what was consuming her mind.

She managed to break away from Damon's eyes and turn on Stefan. His expression wasn't smug anymore. He was shocked.

She took a step towards him. "Do you even know? You've made lists before – I saw the list of your victims in Chicago. Did you do that when you were with Klaus - did you make a list this last time, I mean? In Tennessee?" The burning in her throat was back, but she was caring less and less about that.

Stefan didn't say anything, and she was starting to take another step towards him when she head "Elena," from Damon.

She turned and looked into his eyes. She was sure now, they were the key. They were to way to stop the burning she felt in her throat when she looked at Stefan.

"Are you OK?" Damon asked. His expression was totally different now. He was concerned – concerned about her.

She nodded, her mind returning to the thought that he wanted to get back together with her. That was what she wanted to concentrate on just now.

"I only went with Klaus to save Damon," Stefan said. "And to protect you!" he added.

Stefan sounded bitter now.

She could have turned back to Stefan, but the burning in her throat was getting worse every time she looked at him. She was also feeling a need to just go for his throat, though she thought that it might be just because of his intrusion on her reunion with Damon.

"I know why you went with Klaus," Elena answered, though she continued to stare at Damon. "And I'm grateful that you saved him, protected me." She risked looking back at him, though only long enough to add "I'm also grateful that Damon and I were able to pull you back out of there, like Lexi did for you. More than once."

She heard Stefan make an unpleasant noise as she turned back to Damon. Damon's expression was a combination of concerned and confused. It was still hard as well, as if he hadn't finished telling her how wrong he was for her yet.

"You know why Lexi isn't around anymore," Stefan said. Then he muttered "and you still have no idea who Damon is."

That got to Elena. She thought that she was being reasonable, Damon was just being Damon. It was Stefan who was being a jerk.

It was harder each time she did it, but she managed to pull her eyes from Damon's again and faced Stefan. "I know why Lexi is gone, Stefan, and I know who Damon is." She tried to ignore the burning in her throat as she approached her Ex. "Not that I haven't learned some things about him recently, but I know who he is. What I'm having trouble with is who you are, and who I am."

She held Stefan's eyes as she reached him. She heard him say "You don't know everything, Elena" while she was trying to think of a way to just send him away. His face was a little concerned, but she couldn't concentrate on his face.

"Elena?" Stefan asked again as she realized she couldn't control it. She was biting into his neck before she knew what she was doing.

It was kind of blur for Elena after that. She knew Stefan was making noise, but paid no attention to that. Damon was pulling at her, talking to her at the same time. When she finally responded, finally let her grip on Stefan go, she realized that the burning in her throat was gone.

Damon pulled her away and pushed her onto a couch, though he sat next to her and kept his arm around her in a firm grip.

She began to shake as she realized what she had done. "Stefan, no. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to…"

Damon put a finger to her lips to silence her. She stopped but couldn't stop staring at Stefan, at what she had done. At least he was awake, though he was rubbing his neck, and pain showing on his face.

"I guess we know what was in the syringe," Damon said.

His face was serious when she looked up into his eyes and asked, "What?"


	79. How He Will Know

Elena woke up next to Damon. It had happened before – though not nearly enough in Elena's mind. At one point, if she woke up to find Damon next to her, she was upset. Things had changed, and though Damon had called it a mistake when she was sired to him, those days were gone. This was what they both wanted now, though they both had second thoughts sometimes – like the previous night when they had argued. When they decide that 'they' didn't work.

That wasn't the way she felt now, though it was probably the way she should feel.

She lay still, not sure if he was awake or not, knowing that when he did wake up, when he knew they were both awake, they would talk and things between them might change. Not that she really knew where they stood just then, the sudden change from arguing to what had followed was confusing, to say the least. Right now, lying next to him, things seemed perfect.

The serenity she found in just lying there with him didn't last. He soon moved in a way that made her sure he was awake.

She wanted to say something, to take control of whatever would happen between them now, so she asked what popped into her mind, what bothered her the most. "How could you not have known that it was Katherine?"

She kept her eyes closed as she spoke. She kept them closed as he moved a little, as she waited for him to speak. As much as she wanted to see his eyes, she knew the effect they had on her – it was obvious from the events of the previous night.

"I've always wondered," he said – barely above a whisper, "how you could love me despite what I've done. I always thought that one day you would have had enough - that you might just be done with me. When it happened, when I thought it happened, I let you go."

She was sure, he was looking at her now. If she opened her eyes, and looked, his eyes would be there. She kept her eyes closed as she responded, "You never 'let me go' before, even when I wanted you to. You always watched over me, made sure I was OK. You were the only one that always did that, no matter what else was going on."

He hesitated again, and as soon as he spoke, she knew he had moved his head again. He was looking above them as he said, "You were safe. Katherine was dead, Klaus has been gone for awhile, so you were safe and you made your choice. Again."

Elena cringed at the last word he spoke. "So you gave up on me. Is that what you think I wanted?"

"I didn't think about what you wanted, Elena." Damon was definitely looking at her now, and his voice was rising. "I know what you want – you want me to be different from who I've always been. You've told me that to my face."

She had to open her eyes now. Whatever else happened, she couldn't let him think this. "You are different, Damon - really different from what you used to be." She kept her eyes open but moved them away from his. "I know that, if no one else does."

"But I'm not quite different enough."

His tone made it clear they were about to have another argument, something she didn't want to do again – though their last argument hadn't turned out so bad.

"There are still issues," she said carefully, still looking away. "I have some, too, now - I can't believe I almost turned someone just so I could feed on them."

She looked down and shook her head.

"Issues," Damon said. "Issues like if you're not right next to me, I revert. We've covered this. We don't work."

"Yet here we are," Elena said, though really she was saying it more to herself than to him.

Her eye were closed again when he spoke. "And the question is, 'where do we go?'"

"This was a mistake," Elena said, rising from the bed and starting to dress. "We know better."

"What we know," Damon began "is that I love you and you love me. What we know is that I'm never going to change and you're never going to like it."

"You've already changed," Elena said quickly, finally letting herself look into his eyes.

"Not enough," Damon said flatly.

Elena cringed and shook herself. "I don't know. But you're right. I love you and I'm not going to stop. I don't want to stop."

"Well I don't want you to stop," Damon said. Elena had caught his eyes again. She was frozen in place as he spoke. "So where do we go from here?"

Elena shrugged and continued to dress. "I don't know. All I'm going to hear now is how you killed Aaron. No one will care that I skewered a witch and nearly turned some guy so I could feed on him." She was fully dressed now and looked at Damon, who was still sitting on the bed, only his head and chest above the covers.

"Of course not," he said. "They know you only do things like that when you have lost control of yourself for some reason. You would never do it if you were yourself. They also know I have control, and think I only do things when I lose hope in you. You hear about it because they think you're trying to control me and they know you can't."

Elena shook her head. "I'm not trying to control you."

"I know that, Elena," Damon said, his voice rising a little again. "You just want me to be better. You've told me that to my face as well."

"You are better," Elena insisted.

"Yet, we're still 'toxic'," Damon said flatly, again. "This was a 'mistake'."

Elena bit her lip as Damon added, "Though as mistakes go, this was one of my better ones. I could make this mistake again."

Elena let a small laugh escape, then sighed.

"So what are you going to do?" Damon asked.

"I don't know," she said, her face showing that she was confused by it all. Then her face hardened, as she took a few steps toward him. "But look, Damon Salvatore; this may be 'toxic', 'we' may not work, but it does not mean that I do not love you. I do. I love you and don't you ever let Katherine, or Stefan, or anyone else convince you that I don't."

She turned around and left him sitting up in bed, saying "That's how you'll know it's not me," as she walked away.

* * *

_So despite the current situaton, I feel better about Delena on the show then ever. I realized that I don't remeber ever seeing Elena do with Stefan what she's been doing with Damon (though maybe I've repressed it). She always treated him like some fragile thing that might break, like she had to be carefull around him. She's never treated Damon like that. And It's been years since she spent any real quality time with Stefan..._

_I've even come to accept that the TV people will keep breaking the Delena relationship, but now I see it as a sign of their acceptance that it's what we want. They'll give us what we want, if only to keep us around - but not with the turmoil, not without the storm. I can deal..._

_(I am suddenly so mature...)_


End file.
